Can I Adopt My Ex-Girlfriend's Daughter

[jbesaw]

My question involves adoption law for the State of: IN

I am the only "daddy" she knows. I voluntarily give her mother support, and buy everything she needs. Her mother and biological father both agree. I am stable with my own home and part owner/Pres. in our 39 yrs family business. Her mother is on Social Security Disablility with no job or future for one. My ex has three children with different fathers and my "daughter's" is believed to be in jail or a half way house. He is all on board for me and has expressed through freinds his "Thanks" to me for being what he can't in addition to his willingness to "sign whatever".

[LawResearcherMissy]

No, you cannot adopt your ex's child, even if her parents are onboard.

If you and Mom had married and stayed married, a step-parent adoption could have been done, but you cannot adopt the child now.

[Mr. Knowitall]

I think it's more accurate to say that it's possible, but that outside of the sphere of stepparent adoption the matter becomes much more complex and expensive. You will have to overcome potential court skepticism of terminating the rights of two parents to establish one individual as the sole legal parent, will have to pay for a home study, etc.

Why not guardianship? Much simpler and cheaper, albeit subject to court oversight and possible revocation.

[jbesaw]

Thanks for your response. I want to clarify that her mother has no intention of giving me custody she would not sign over her rights only him. And he is currently in jail for lack of child support. Further he has never been in her life in any way. I would only be stepping up into his shoes.

[jk]

Thanks for your response. I want to clarify that her mother has no intention of giving me custody she would not sign over her rights only him. And he is currently in jail for lack of child support. Further he has never been in her life in any way. I would only be stepping up into his shoes.

You just went from difficult and unlikely to impossible.

If the mother is not giving up her rights, then it isn;t going to happen. The courts do not allow for a person that has no attachment to the other parent to adopt their child while they remain a parent themselves.

[jbesaw]

Thanks. But, I'm still talking with my corporate law firm. I was just checking around. I have gotten advice from both ends of the spectrum. The good news is that I do have lots of money to throw at it and it would remove a child from Medicaid and other social help and reduce the States responsibility. I don't know how they can say no.

[jk]

I don't know how they can say no.

Um, because there is a mother and unless her parental rights are terminated, it just isn't going to happen.

Your argument is a bit reminiscent of the forced sterilization program that was such an embarrassment for all involved.

[jbesaw]

Well. We'll just see. I see no corelation to forced sterilization as I am not Aryan. No more replies necessary. I will kindly ignore your advice, and listen to actual experts.

Thanks.

[jk]

Well. We'll just see. I see no corelation to forced sterilization as I am not Aryan. No more replies necessary. I will kindly ignore your advice, and listen to actual experts.

Thanks.

because it is the same claim:

for the good of society


and I wasn't speaking about the Nazis. I was speaking of the practice right here in the US.



and yes, we'll just see. Of course you will likely be one of the many running back, usually long before a court would have even heard the issue yelling: I won. I told you I was right. I won. na na na na na na even though it is a lie.

You are welcome to post the court order (with names redacted) to prove your claim though.

[free9man]

While his analogy may have been extreme, the rest wasn't. Unless mom's parental rights are terminated, no adoption is going to happen without her permission. Understand that courts are very careful when it comes to terminating a parent's rights involuntarily and you would need a mountain of evidence. Even if her rights are terminated, blood relatives are likely to be given first shot at placement. You, as a legal nobody in her life, would be way down the list of potential placements.