How to Change My Daughter's Last Name from Maiden Name to Married Name

[ConfusedCumbersome]

My question involves name change laws in the State of: Montana

I was 17 when I had my daughter and I have no idea who the dad is. I was the first to pass out a party and I woke up pregnant. So my question is I gave my daughter my maiden name, Im now married and my husband is the only daddy shes ever had so what do I need to do to get her last name changed to the family's? Ive heard step parent adoption is way expensive, if its cheaper to get a name change we can do that, just need help with understanding the process. Thank you.

[Dogmatique]

You need to make sure your daughter knows that your husband is NOT her "daddy". And really, "passing out" and "waking up pregnant" - no dear. It didn't happen that way. If it did, that's called "rape". And there are many remedies to help you with that! I'm guessing though that you're not going to select that route - right?

What you are suggesting is known as a "back door adoption", and it's not going to wash. Talk to a local attorney about your husband adopting her.

[flyingron]

Changing her name won't give him any particular legal rights to act as father. Absent consent of the current (biological) father, you will have a difficult time with the name change. If adoption is the goal, you'll not get much relief through the "back door" as Dog says.

http://courts.mt.gov/library/topic/name_chg.mcpx

[ConfusedCumbersome]

I dont believe I needed you telling me how it went. And so, Id appreciate you keeping your rudeness off my thread.

[cyjeff]

Okay, let's try this another way.

You want to change your daughter's name to your husband's so that he can PRETEND he has legal authority over her. He, right now, does not. Therefore, what you are trying to do is PRETEND he has adopted your daughter without actually doing so.

That is illegal.

The best way would be to track down the legal father and start the step parent adoption process. Before you tell me that I am being rude, realize that the judge you go before will be telling you the exact same things that we are.... and if you think Dog was rude, you haven't heard anything yet.

So, why aren't you interested in bringing your rapists to justice? Do you have an idea of who it was? Does your reluctance have anything to do with your reluctance to go through the proper step parent adoption process?

[Dogmatique]

I dont believe I needed you telling me how it went. And so, Id appreciate you keeping your rudeness off my thread.

You don't get to decide who answers your post, dear.

[Mr. Knowitall]

I was 17 when I had my daughter and I have no idea who the dad is. I was the first to pass out a party and I woke up pregnant.

If you read other threads you will find that the same essential scenario is claimed a lot here. So you went to the police, they did a rape kit, you're hoping for an eventual DNA match to bring the rapist to judgment... got it.

So my question is I gave my daughter my maiden name, Im now married and my husband is the only daddy shes ever had so what do I need to do to get her last name changed to the family's?

Obviously stepparent adoption would be a good idea, if your husband is willing to step up and do more than play dad. You can petition a court to change your child's name and prove to the satisfaction of the court that you have no knowledge of who the father is such that you could serve him, and that the name change is in the child's best interest. The police report from your rape case should help with that. But if I were the judge I would wonder why it's in the child's best interest to have her name changed to that of a man who isn't interested in adopting her.

[cyjeff]

Or, stated another way, why have the child's name changed to a man who finds it too expensive to adopt her?

Judge's are all about stability. A man that wants to pretend to be a dad isn't a stable father.

And before you get all nasty with me, I AM a step dad. I don't need a lecture on how you don't have to contribute DNA to love a child.

[aardvarc]

OP, if the rape was reported to authorities, that'll be an important element in the process of your husband completing an adoption - which would allow a name change. Hubby would file for adoption, put "unknown" for the father, and present a copy of the rape report to the court to show that identification of the father cannot be made (or that even WITH identification, now or at some future date, that the father should be excluded from the child's life).

If the rape wasn't reported to authorities, (perhaps out of fear of admitting to being 17 and participating in activities as a party that result in you passing out, like drugs or alcohol?) you're going to need an attorney. Without such a report, the court is going to be VERY unwilling to bless an adoption until you've made ALL reasonable attempts to identify and notify potential fathers and those attempts will need to be made and documented in a manner acceptable to the court.