Oklahoma Child Custody

[james_77]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Oklahoma
I am in the military currently stationed in Korea, my son lives in Oklahoma with his mother. his mother and I were never married, but I am on his birth cert. there is not anything through the courts between myself or his mother for custody or child support (I do pay child support per: mutual agreement). This is where it gets interesting my sons mom has recently been arrested and is sitting in jail for a lot (16) unpaid traffic tickets and warrants. My son is currently staying with her mother as of right now but her mother is going to have back surgery in about a week so she will be unable to provide care for him and is leaving him with her aunt and uncle (people Ive never met)
my question is if i were to come back to the states on emergency leave and get stationed in Ft. Riley Ks. would i be able to take my son with me until she gets out of jail? or would me leaving the state even on orders be an issue? I dont want to try to fight for full custody and take him away from his mother but i do want to get a joint custody agreement through the court where he can live with me for half the year and her with the other half. That way if there is ever any problems an i need to take care of him i wont have any problems bringing him to what ever state the army puts me in and she can take care of him while im on deployments anything you could give me info on in this situation would be greatly appreciated thank you (sorry for the bad punctuation and grammar, I'm a soldier not an English teacher lol)

[PQN]

How old is the child? When is the last time you saw the child?

Chances are not good that you could do anything in the brief time that mom will be in jail. I'm not sure you could even get emergency leave as there isn't an emergency. The child is safe and being cared for by family members he knows (even if you haven't met them).

You should file for a long distance parenting plan so that you have set visitations with your son. You will not get half of the year, that is a horrible schedule for a child. Mom is the primary parent. When you are not deployed, you will probably get a couple of extended periods of visitation (4-7 days) as well as a good portion of the summer. When you are deployed, as well as in between your visits, you can ask for Skype visits.

If you have not spent significant time with your son or if he is very young, expect your inital visits to be in mom's community before you will be able to take him elsewhere.

Do you have your son on Tricare?

[Dogmatique]

6 months on/6 months off?

And how's that going to work with school?

[james_77]

well my son is 2 years old i do have him on tricare and deers i am still in good terms with his mother and we would most likely agree an a 6 month on 6 month off plan once she gets out but i also found out that it wasnt all traffic there are warrants for writing bogus checks still under misdemeanor charge but i dont know if that will keep her in longer or not. ive been in just under a year so i left for basic in august seen him between basic and ait and then again for christmas before i left to come to korea i lived with her up until basic. we are no longer together but still on good terms with each other

- - - Updated - - -

also i do see him over skype when we can match up times we are both awake and off work because if the 14 hour time difference

[Dogmatique]

No judge is going to order 6 months on/off for a child that young.

That is not a healthy schedule - the child will literally go through a grieving process every 6 months.

[PQN]

A two year old should go no longer than 2-3 days without seeing their primary parent.

A 6-month on/6-month off schedule is a nearly guarenteed way to give your toddler a long-term mental illness.

[Dogmatique]

A two year old should go no longer than 2-3 days without seeing their primary parent.

A 6-month on/6-month off schedule is a nearly guarenteed way to give your toddler a long-term mental illness.

Absolutely agreed.

OP needs to start looking at realistic parenting agreements for toddlers with Mom being the primary parent unless she's actually incarcerated long term.