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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    15

    Unhappy Is There a Way to Get Out of Paying Child Support

    My question involves child support in the State of: Illinois

    I dint want to make this an essay because I know those never get fully responded to in any forum so I'll just list a slight back story and ask my question

    2009 my ex gf and I had sex , her and I were on and off for four years (2005)..more "friends with benefits" by this point
    In these years I was informed by her that I never would have to use a condom because she was on depo provera
    In 2006 she was 2nd lover and I was her first
    That day in 2009 I was told by her that she was still on depo and no condom was used
    A few weeks later we argued and we don't talk again for about a month
    Within in the time I dated a girl who was her ex best friend , when she found out she told me she's 5 weeks pregnant
    Lots of bickering between us happen during this as I find out from my gf at the time (the ex best friend) she knowingly was off depo provera and lied to me so she would get pregnant and hopefully have my child
    At the same time I find out she may have slept with my best friend during the time span of her being pregnant
    (That ruined the friendship between him and I)
    Jump forward to 2010 of march "our" child was born , the mother doesn't refuse for a second that its mine
    I have my doubts , a week or so later she tells me to come in and sign some "papers"
    I found out that I (unknowingly) signed my life away , I was angry and still sure that the child wasn't mine and I was absent for the first year
    For the next year or so I begin to come around after she left her boyfriend at the time , iconfess my love to her and want to be with her she says no and continues to argue with me
    Telling me that I will need to pay cs
    We argue some more and I felt hurt that she wouldn't wanna be with me and she continued to blackmail me with cs
    So I stop comming around
    Now 2012, I pay 130$ a month out of my measly 500$ a month pay checks, during the hearing I requested a DNA test and was told I couldn't be ordered by court to have one because I signed the birth certificate
    Last week we talked ,She has agreed to give me a paternity test as long as I pay the costs and figure out where to (agreed in a text message while verbally attacking me in them which I saved in my phone)
    The child is only two and 3 months , if a paternity test proves I'm not the father can I be taken off this court ordered cs payments and off the birth certificate?
    Also she has said in one if these texts that I have saved and I quote;
    Her: "You know i work and my father left me a lot of money when he passed so I truly don't need your 170$ I'm....."
    (Cut off at " I'm " because the rest of the text had nothing to do with this)
    Me: "if you don't need my money and I know you don't then why don't drop this case"
    Her: "because your lazy deadbeat ass needs to learn to be responsible and take care of our child"

    The messages go on like this and have been for the past 2 years , would bringing these messages help me at all?

    Thanks in advance, idk if age matters but her and I are both in our early 20's

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    27,079

    Default Re: Is There a Way Out of the Cs Payments

    You're not going to like this.

    1. $130/month is nothing - seriously, for child support? You're lucky you haven't been imputed full time wages.

    2. Biology aside, you are the child's legal father. The court has already told you that you cannot challenge paternity - at this point the only person who can, is the biological father.

    3. The State of Illinois makes it quite clear that you're well outside of the time period in which you could have rescinded those paternity papers.

    4. You are absolutely entitled to file for visitation and perhaps even joint legal custody.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    15

    Default Re: Is There a Way Out of the Cs Payments

    @dogmatique
    1. Its something when I only make 500$ a month..dont feel like i should be criticized however ,I understand that people pay much more but I'm still working a part time job so how can they make me pay as if I had full time ?
    2.if its unknown who the Bio is then no one can challenge , I realize that I'm "legally" the dad as of now but if it were to prove otherwise I can do nothing ?
    3.I've been reading and keep seeing people mention you have until the child reaches 4 years of age, is the law different here ?
    4.I know this , although she has told me she wants full custody

    So from what I gather in your post weather or not I'm the father cs payments continue till the child's 18 or she for some reason decides to drop the case?
    And I suppose the admission the my money is unneeded makes no difference as well?
    Thanks for the reply

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    17,399

    Default Re: Is There a Way Out of the Cs Payments

    No. There is no way out of child support payments.

    I hope that this is now clear to you.

  5. #5
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    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: Is There a Way Out of the Cs Payments

    You have a child to support; again you're very lucky that you haven't been imputed full time wages and child support calculated based on that. The courts FREQUENTLY do that.

    Again, you cannot challenge paternity yourself. Only the biological has standing and even then, the court does not have to allow the challenge to go ahead.

    You have 60 days in Illinois to rescind the affidavit of paternity. Here's the actual form: clicky clicky

    The ONLY chance you stand is if you can prove fraud, duress or mutual mistake of fact. If that's where you want to go, you'll need an attorney.

    (Yes, Mom saying she doesn't need the money is completely irrelevant)
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  6. #6

    Default Re: Is There a Way to Get Out of Paying Child Support

    Quote Quoting iPod
    View Post
    2009 my ex gf and I had sex , her and I were on and off for four years (2005)..more "friends with benefits" by this pointp.
    It's really "friends with benefits...and responsibilities if pregnancy occurs". That's an important distinction.


    In these years I was informed by her that I never would have to use a condom because she was on depo provera
    Never. Never. Ever. Ever. Take someone's word for whether or not YOU need to take personal responsibility for birth control. There is NO method that is 100% effective all the time, except NOT having sex. When a woman tells you that you don't need a condom, then unless you're married to her and plan on raising children together, you wear one ANYWAY. If your parents didn't teach you this, then go back to them, smack your pop in the back of the head and say "dad, dude, why the hell didn't you teach me this stuff".


    In 2006 she was 2nd lover and I was her first
    Still believing that now? I'd take anything she says with a grain or handfull of salt.




    I have my doubts , a week or so later she tells me to come in and sign some "papers". I found out that I (unknowingly) signed my life away
    Did you READ what you were signing? BEFORE you signed it?????? (Add this to the list of things to question your parents about if they didn't teach you this either. Just wait till some ex-con friend of yours hands you a confession to murder and asks you to sign it. Big trouble ahead in life if you don't get this lesson learned, quick.)



    I was angry and still sure that the child wasn't mine
    Yet you signed papers to the contrary?


    Telling me that I will need to pay cs
    We argue some more and I felt hurt that she wouldn't wanna be with me and she continued to blackmail me with cs. So I stop comming around
    So while you're damming her for trying to "blackmail" child support for a child you've already signed to as yours, you're at the same time going to disappear rather than take responsibility for the child (which at this point you don't know isn't yours)? Nice. And just to be clear, child support is the child's RIGHT. Blackmail doesn't enter into it.

    Now 2012, I pay 130$ a month out of my measly 500$ a month pay checks, during the hearing I requested a DNA test and was told I couldn't be ordered by court to have one because I signed the birth certificate
    That's why you READ AND UNDERSTAND before signing things. Super important.



    Last week we talked ,She has agreed to give me a paternity test as long as I pay the costs and figure out where to (agreed in a text message while verbally attacking me in them which I saved in my phone)
    Might be nice to know. But the court has already told you that you don't have standing, regardless of the results. Any chance that your ex-friend, the potential actual father, wants to step up and take responsibility? If so, encourage HIM to take a DNA test.


    The child is only two and 3 months , if a paternity test proves I'm not the father can I be taken off this court ordered cs payments and off the birth certificate?
    Your DNA doesn't matter now. Bio dad's might but even that window isn't open forever.


    Also she has said in one if these texts that I have saved and I quote;
    Her: "You know i work and my father left me a lot of money when he passed so I truly don't need your 170$ I'm....."
    Child support isn't based on mom needing money or not. It's based on the legal principle that the child is ENTITLED to support from BOTH parents. In other words, it's not MOM's money to give up - it's the CHILD'S money - mom gets it because the child isn't capable of paying bills, having a checking account, etc.


    Me: "if you don't need my money and I know you don't then why don't drop this case"
    Her: "because your lazy deadbeat ass needs to learn to be responsible and take care of our child"
    ok


    The messages go on like this and have been for the past 2 years , would bringing these messages help me at all?

    Nope.
    Catherine NeSmith
    Executive Director
    AARDVARC.org, Inc.
    http://www.aardvarc.org

    Fave Big Bang Theory site: Sheldon Cooper Fans

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    15

    Default Re: Is There a Way Out of the Cs Payments

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    You have 60 days in Illinois to rescind the affidavit of paternity. Here's the actual form: clicky clicky

    The ONLY chance you stand is if you can prove fraud, duress or mutual mistake of fact. If that's where you want to go, you'll need an attorney.
    Only 60 days..that isn't very fair but at least I know now to always read first before signing

    As for that second part, by proving fraud or duress your pertaining to the part in my first post talking about the possibility the she knowingly lied to me about the depo and getting pregnant, correct?

    Mutual mistake of fact includes what exactly ? I just read the definition and didn't understand

  8. #8
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    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: Is There a Way Out of the Cs Payments

    No, because you were neither defrauded nor under duress when you signed.

    I was merely mentioning the only chance you'd have.

    Fair doesn't come into being. What's not "fair" though is the child's father wanting to get out of child support. Y'know?
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    15

    Default Re: Is There a Way to Get Out of Paying Child Support

    Quote Quoting aardvarc
    View Post
    It's really "friends with benefits...and responsibilities if pregnancy occurs". That's an important distinction.
    This made me lol , but yes there is a distinction

    Quote Quoting aardvarc
    View Post

    Never. Never. Ever. Ever. Take someone's word for whether or not YOU need to take personal responsibility for birth control. There is NO method that is 100% effective all the time, except NOT having sex. When a woman tells you that you don't need a condom, then unless you're married to her and plan on raising children together, you wear one ANYWAY. If your parents didn't teach you this, then go back to them, smack your pop in the back of the head and say "dad, dude, why the hell didn't you teach me this stuff".
    Grew up in a fatherless home and the closest person to a father figure was physically abusive so no I was never taught this , I have learned though


    Quote Quoting aardvarc
    View Post
    Still believing that now? I'd take anything she says with a grain or handfull of salt.
    nope , not at all




    Quote Quoting aardvarc
    View Post
    Did you READ what you were signing? BEFORE you signed it?????? (Add this to the list of things to question your parents about if they didn't teach you this either. Just wait till some ex-con friend of yours hands you a confession to murder and asks you to sign it. Big trouble ahead in life if you don't get this lesson learned, quick.)
    once again ,lesson learned

    Quote Quoting aardvarc
    View Post
    Yet you signed papers to the contrary?
    Remember I never read what I signed , could not even recollect what the paper looked like until
    The first court date when they asked if it was my signature

    Quote Quoting aardvarc
    View Post
    So while you're damming her for trying to "blackmail" child support for a child you've already signed to as yours, you're at the same time going to disappear rather than take responsibility for the child (which at this point you don't know isn't yours)? Nice. And just to be clear, child support is the child's RIGHT. Blackmail doesn't enter into it.
    I didn't know what else to do , I was angry confused and a whole lot of other emotions
    So I was out of the picture , douche bag move I know , wish I could change things but I can't






    Quote Quoting aardvarc
    View Post
    Might be nice to know. But the court has already told you that you don't have standing, regardless of the results. Any chance that your ex-friend, the potential actual father, wants to step up and take responsibility? If so, encourage HIM to take a DNA test.


    Your DNA doesn't matter now. Bio dad's might but even that window isn't open forever.
    The ex friend and I haven't spoken for years now , I got no idea where he is or what he is doing with his life
    The only thing that's been confusing me is how can we know who the dad is if we don't get the DNA done between the child and myself
    That's not a question btw

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Is There a Way to Get Out of Paying Child Support

    There's nothing stopping you from getting a home DNA test.

    It just won't make a difference legally (although at least you'll know for sure in your own mind).
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

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