My Ex is Saying Things About Me Once We Separated

**Croyde** · 06-23-2012, 09:22 AM

My question involves defamation in the state of: Ontario

I recentley seperated from my wife, and have joint custody of our young daughter now. I have been recently told by several people that she is saying that I used to beat her and abuse her other children when she was at work. She's a very manipulitive person and has many people now believing she has had such hard struggles. She has also been going to her lawyer and stating these things to try and make a case so I wont have joint custody of our daughter anymore. She has 4 kids, and I'm now the fourth dad..so this has happened before in my opionon.
It even goes to the extent that her boyfriends kids have told there mum that her ex used to abuse them. She is also saying to many people that I cheated on her through out the whole marriage, this is far from true. We had issues and eventually called it quits because I caught her numerous times cheating on myself.
Im not overly sure how to deal with this and what can be done.
Please help

**aardvarc** · 06-23-2012, 09:57 AM

Everyone needs to quit listening to what is being said, by anyone. Know what MATTERS in courts? DOCUMENTATION. If there aren't police reports, witness testimony, reports to CPS, etc. then it really doesn't matter who says what.

She has also been going to her lawyer and stating these things to try and make a case so I wont have joint custody of our daughter anymore

She can tell her lawyer that the sun rises in the west too. Doesn't mean it provides ammo for visitation. The courts aren't going to remove your right to visitation with your child without good cause, and mom simply SAYING that something happened won't do it.

She has 4 kids, and I'm now the fourth dad..so this has happened before in my opionon.

There are reasons why people have serial relationships that don't work out. When you are #4 in line, that needs to be a big red flag to find out what, if any, pattern is going on, otherwise you end up being just the next one in line. The best predictor of someone's future behavior is their past behavior. When someone has a significant past full of ex's and kids, it behooves you to dig and understand what you're getting into before becoming the next fly in the web.

It even goes to the extent that her boyfriends kids have told there mum that her ex used to abuse them.

Again, lots of heresay. Any police reports? Arrest records?

Im not overly sure how to deal with this and what can be done.

YOUR attorney shouldn't have a difficult time disputing whatever she's babbling, UNLESS there is supporting evidence. If you don't HAVE an attorney, you NEED one.

**Croyde** · 06-23-2012, 12:58 PM

There was one police report, she tried to charge me for assault...but the investigator dropped charges after talking to me and my dad who was there at the time. They found no grounds to assault what so ever so was released and no charges were pressed.
I understand about having an attorney, but the problem there is I make to much for legal aid and dont make enough to pay for lawyer. So it's been a matter of me trying to learn what I can to continue.
I hear you in regards that there should have been some red flags, which there were. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt and go from there. The relationship it self has been a rough go as it is. But I married her and was trying to work out alot of the issues and stand by the person I commited myself too. But I see now alot of the faults I over looked in the past regarding her and myself, but it is what it is in that regards.