Friend Ran Away from Alcoholic Mother, I Want to Help

[KarlaScadutto]

My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: Florida

A friend of mine in southern Florida deals with an alcoholic mother. She ran away and went to a friend's house becuase she could not take it any more and called the police. The police sent her back and her mother acted as if she missed her but then cursed her out in the police station. When the police officer came in, the mother made it seem like it was my friend's fault. Her mother is a nurse and gets completely wasted almost every night, she nights that she isn't wasted, she is just drunk.

She yells at her every night and accuses her of stealing things she hasn't stolen ( ciggerettes, alcohol, etc. ). I live in Pennsylvania but when I stayed with them a few days, I have been a witness to this. When I was with them she had come to the hotel room after bar hopping and she ( friend's mother ) was ready to strike her ( my friend) becuase her mother accused me of being of a cult and that I was going to take her away but she defended me. Her mother gets paranoid when drunk and blacks out.

She hasn't even taken my friend to a doctor in her LIFE to get vaccines! My friend twisted her knee and her mom STILL wouldnt take her to the hodpital but, she pays $1000 dentures for HERSELF ( the mother ). She doesn't send her to public school either, but has her doing Florida virtual.

I want to help her, I can't afford a lawyer yet but I am saving up my money. I want to get her out of her house and adopt her or atleast have her live with me, I'm scared for her life. Her mother also drives drunk and takes care of her patients while intoxicated. I am not even sure if I have this in the right topic but please tell me what I can do.

[Mr. Knowitall]

You posted this as a question about protective services, but you don't mention how they are involved; I guess we're to infer that you cannot figure out how to reach them. Here's contact information.

[aardvarc]

I want to get her out of her house

You have no legal standing to do so. If you do so without parental consent, even a falling down drunk parent, YOU can face criminal charges. If you transport her across state lines, even with good intent, they could become federal criminal charges. So before you get ahead of yourself, you need to understand that YOUR personal power to act or intervene between the LEGAL rights of a parent and the child are limited. Now, with that said....

and adopt her

1) Where is the child's father and what is HIS legal status in relation to the child?

2) Are mom AND dad willing to cooperate with any potential adoption petition, and if not, are you willing to move to Florida and spend many thousands in legal fees to ATTEMPT a contested adoption that you have little chance of winning?

or atleast have her live with me,

If her legal guardian allows that, sure. If not, see the issue of potential criminal charges against you listed above.

She yells at her every night and accuses her of stealing things she hasn't stolen ( ciggerettes, alcohol, etc. ).

Not pleasant, and potentially emotionally destructive, but parents are allowed to yell and accuse.

When I was with them she had come to the hotel room after bar hopping and she ( friend's mother ) was ready to strike her ( my friend)

But didn't ACTUALLY strike anyone, right? That's what the law, law enforcement, and child services acts on...ACTUAL events that occur.

Her mother gets paranoid when drunk and blacks out.

Again, not illegal. Crappy parenting for sure, but unless those black outs have some DIRECT cause of neglect or injury it's irrelevant to authorities. If the minor involved was 3, that would make a huge difference, because 3 year olds need parental oversight that requires a physically (to at least some degree) and mentally competent caregiver to feed the child, clean the child, and make sure the child isn't sticking butter knives into outlets. Unless the 16year old in question can't do those basic things for herself, or has a recent history of sticking butter knives into outlets.....see where this is going?

She hasn't even taken my friend to a doctor in her LIFE to get vaccines!

You've seen the child's medical records? She's been to a public school at SOME point in her life, right? And, you're aware that there are multiple ways that parents can get exemption for a vast majority of vaccinations (that were required 16 years ago, which are different than today's requirements).

My friend twisted her knee and her mom STILL wouldnt take her to the hodpital

Mom's a nurse. A twisted knee, sans any complications, doesn't usually get seen at a hospital. Did the child recover? If yes, then it's not an issue.

but, she pays $1000 dentures for HERSELF ( the mother ).

None of your business or daughter's business, and perfectly acceptable.

She doesn't send her to public school either, but has her doing Florida virtual.

Attendance at public school is only ONE of several potential educational options, including private school, home school, and, viola, virtual school. Are you somehow under the impression that a child has the legal right to demand one form over another? They don't.

I want to help her,

Then reporting any issues that may be ACTUAL abuse or neglect to authorities. Most of what you've listed isn't. But if there is no report, and without any allegation being investigated and found to have merit, even the best team of attorneys on earth aren't going to be able to wrestle a minor away from their natural parent.

I'm scared for her life.

The reality of the situation is this: mom being a drunk isn't illegal. Unless mom has failed to provide the minor with the basics of shelter, food, weather appropriate clothing, clean drinkable water, and flushing toilets, AND there hasn't been any documented injury, violence, or neglect, the odds of intervention that removes her from the home are minimal. Hopefully you've counseled her on the use of 911 if she's in fear, and worked with her to develop a safety plan for herself should mom become violent (which doesn't seem to be the primary concern, since so much of the complaint centers on mom being an ineffective parent who is passed out drunk most of the time, right?)>

Her mother also drives drunk

Has she been arrested for or convicted of DUI? Is the 16 year old notifying police when this happens?

and takes care of her patients while intoxicated.

This has gone unnoticed by her employer and unreported by patients? For how long?

I am not even sure if I have this in the right topic but please tell me what I can do.

Although you won't want to hear this, you are a legal stranger to this child's life. You have standing to do ONE thing: which is to notify child services of your concerns. However, you must realize that for the most part, what you've reported here ISN'T either illegal nor grounds for a finding of neglect or abuse. The things mentioned which may be illegal (such as the drunk driving) are a moot point until there is documentation of such (which is why reporting is so important). Child services has the ability and authority to look for problems of abuse and neglect, and it is THEIR place and legal ability to intervene - IF intervention is warranted (which usually takes MORE than just craptacular parenting but ACTUAL abuse or neglect, which aren't evident here).

You also need to keep in mind that you're in a different STATE. It's not going to escape anyone's notice that you cannot have first hand knowledge of ALL of the different things you're claiming to have knowledge of. If you are getting the majority of your information from the 16 year old involved....you'll need to include that fact in your perspective of the problem, because authorities will have to do that too.