Teen Runaway to Grandparents in Michigan

mom_gray47 · #1 09-12-2006, 08:41 PM

Have a family problem, a 14 year old girl, left home in the middle of the night, and rode her bike to grandparents house. The grandparents let her stay, and did not inform the parent (Single father). The father "guessed" she was there and requested she be brought home. The grandmothers refused to return the child, unless she wants to go home. The father was told by the grandmother and child, he would be reported for abuse if he comes to get the child unless she wants to go home, (abuse, yelling at brother, making her clean up after her brother, no phyical or sexual abuse)

She has been gone for about two weeks, and her grandmother registered her at a differenct school, this week. I and my sister (sister's to the grandmother) have tried to talk to both the Child and the grandmother, the grandmother wants the girl home (she doesn't want to support her, or give up her time and energy for the girl), but demands the father come and pick up the child, which the father is afaid to go, after the treat of being reported for "abuse" (the father and grandmother are both stubborn), the whole situation is crazy. Is the grandmother breaking the law?

The child has not been reported as a runaway, because the father doesn 't want to get the grandmother into trouble. Any suggestions?

Happy Trails · #2 09-13-2006, 08:38 AM

Quoting mom_gray47

Have a family problem, a 14 year old girl, left home in the middle of the night, and rode her bike to grandparents house. The grandparents let her stay, and did not inform the parent (Single father). The father "guessed" she was there and requested she be brought home. The grandmothers refused to return the child, unless she wants to go home. The father was told by the grandmother and child, he would be reported for abuse if he comes to get the child unless she wants to go home, (abuse, yelling at brother, making her clean up after her brother, no phyical or sexual abuse)

She has been gone for about two weeks, and her grandmother registered her at a differenct school, this week. I and my sister (sister's to the grandmother) have tried to talk to both the Child and the grandmother, the grandmother wants the girl home (she doesn't want to support her, or give up her time and energy for the girl), but demands the father come and pick up the child, which the father is afaid to go, after the treat of being reported for "abuse" (the father and grandmother are both stubborn), the whole situation is crazy. Is the grandmother breaking the law?

The child has not been reported as a runaway, because the father doesn 't want to get the grandmother into trouble. Any suggestions?

Sounds like you would be a good mediator between the two of them.

Since dad hasn't reported her as a runaway and hasn't gone over there and demanded the teen come home, I don't see how GM would be in trouble.

If he went there and told them it was time for her to return home, GM shouldn't interfere. If it is true that abuse is in the home then it should be investigated. If it isn't true GM shouldn't be wasting child protection services time.

I would recommend family counseling.

mom_gray47 · #3 09-13-2006, 05:38 PM

I agree counseling would be helpful, but the immediate problem is the child needs to be in school, and back at home, so they can attend as a family (one other son in family) The child is in counseling for another problem, (she reported another family member (the other great grandfather) for abuseing her brother, but the brother says nothing happened and his sister is lying. She says counseling doesn't help, and her brother did tell her that the other grandfather made "advances" to him.

This child also had a problem between her mother, and her mother's mother.
And has not heard from her mother for about 7 months. I really think the child is looking for attention, and is getting it by involving all of her family members (on both mother and fathers side).

She also says that if "forced" to return home she will just runaway again.

turbowray · #4 09-13-2006, 06:31 PM

I am not sure of any programs in your state like we have, so I would recommend that you call the police station, and ask if you have a program designed to help out of control teenagers. I would also ask that if the child continues to run away, if she could be put in juvenile detention. Does this child get in trouble with the law, or has she ever been? If she is just running away, then they may not have anything available. I think to let people know, including the daughter, that you will not sit idly by, while she does whatever she feels like doing, that you can and will press charges for harboring a runaway. Ask her if she would like to see her grandmother or friends in trouble, because they are breaking the law by letting her in.

Happy Trails · #5 09-13-2006, 06:33 PM

Quoting mom_gray47

I agree counseling would be helpful, but the immediate problem is the child needs to be in school, and back at home, so they can attend as a family (one other son in family) The child is in counseling for another problem, (she reported another family member (the other great grandfather) for abuseing her brother, but the brother says nothing happened and his sister is lying. She says counseling doesn't help, and her brother did tell her that the other grandfather made "advances" to him.

This child also had a problem between her mother, and her mother's mother.
And has not heard from her mother for about 7 months. I really think the child is looking for attention, and is getting it by involving all of her family members (on both mother and fathers side).

She also says that if "forced" to return home she will just runaway again.

Then dad needs to report her as a runaway then. Let her make her claims of child abuse and if nothing is found, then dad has nothing to worry about.

Dad cannot allow her to cry wolf and let her do as she pleases.