How Do I Give Up Custody of My Niece in Texas

[fliplitt]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Ohio.

I live in Texas and I have had a custody order out of Ohio where my brother and his wife lived for almost eight years. I removed my niece when she was four months from a sexually, and physically abusive home. She has been diagnosed with fetal alcohol syndrome and she still wears a diaper and she is almost eight due to bowel issues. She is a handful medically, physically, and emotionally. I dont know what else to do. I am not sure I am equipped to deal with her needs , the older she gets. Her behavior is so out there. I have asked the schools to test her for mental retardation and they said she is fine and will not test her. I have to watch her around men as she seems to flock to them for attention and she knows no stranger. She has older sibling who has sever behavioral problems and she is not on that level but it is almost too much for me. I feel like I am not the best caretaker for her, she knows me as mom, as I am the only mother she knows. I feel guilty for wanting to give up custody but am not sure I am not harming her more by not providing the right structure she needs. Please help

[Mr. Knowitall]

Exactly what do you mean by "I have had a custody order out of Ohio"? Are you talking about a guardianship? No court orders in Texas? Your brother and his wife are now where, with what capacity to raise their daughter? Who else might become a custodian?

[Dogmatique]

Have you contacted social services? Have you put her in counseling? Testing her is not the schools' problem - that's something you need to be proactive about yourself.

[PQN]

Have you contacted social services? Have you put her in counseling? Testing her is not the schools' problem - that's something you need to be proactive about yourself.

Not true. If the child is experiencing issues at school related to a possible disability, the school is obligated by federal law to evaluate the child for special education eligibility (with parental consent).


Is the child in counseling?

[Dogmatique]

Special ed, yes - but not psychiatric disorders per se.

[fliplitt]

I was granted custody out of the state of Ohio back in 2004. The court reallocated parental rights to myself and my husband. Her parents live in Florida and I am now in Texas. She has been in counseling, she has PT, OT, DT, Speech and behavioral therapy. The schools believe she is right on track. She struggles with schoolwork and they took all her school services away except speech. She functions at a three year old level. She does not qwualify at school based on being what they consider borderline. I have fought Texas schools for two years and am very proactive with her education. She has been to New Orleans, Houston, San Antonio, and Dallas in regards to her medical conditions which they believe is related to fetal alcohol. I have contacted numerous places to have her MRDD tested and the recommendation here where I live needs to come from school. I have fought for her since I have had her and treat her as if she is my own. NO I do not want to give her up but I have talked to Social services and they have been no help. I have appts every day with her that I do not miss. My problem is I feel like I am not giving her what she needs to become a better person, and no matter what anyone says, she has been alot to to deal with and I do not want to harm her more than what her parenets already have. I have no problem saying I may not be the right person for her, I love her enough to do what is best for her. I have asked for resources, I have asked children services to help me, and I have had no luck because she is not in an abusive home.

- - - Updated - - -

Her parents can not have her back. The courts determined she was abandoned and there was sexual and physical abuse at the hands of both parents. They are not an option, my mother has the older child and she can not be in the same home with that child due to safety issues.

[Dogmatique]

Please don't take this the wrong way - but have YOU had counseling?

I'm seeing you do everything a parent would do, but I'm not seeing where you're doing what might be needed for you. Taking care of a disabled child is a whole different ball game, and yes, I'd say that most parents do need a break! And again, for the most part, I'd say that most parents need to stop beating themselves up about it.

Is there honestly no respite care service available there?

I can't help but want to reach out and tell you face to face that in all actuality you're not doing a bad job at all! But yes, you might need extra help. You might need respite care from time to time. You might need a break.