How to Move Out of State to Be with My Boyfriend So We Can Start Our Life Together

[Nave]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Arizona

Hi I have a 6 yr old daughter and I am now divorced legally from my husband as of 1 month ago, we had to satisfy the waiting period of 90 days. I am involved with a man from Maine and I want to eventually move there and obviously take my daughter. We have joint legal custody and I am listed as the primary custodian (I know that does not really matter). What are my chances of this happening? Can we still keep joint legal custody and just come to a new agreement for the custody? Will I have to fight for full custody? Where we would live literally has no crime and the schools are amazing, my daughter could have everything she has ever wanted there and the man I am involved with is a good man and is willing to be a part of this court hearing if he needs to pass any type of background checks. I feel stuck please help

[Dogmatique]

You've only been divorced for a month and you're wanting to relocate your daughter?

I can't see a judge approving this unless Dad agrees to the move.

Full custody does not, by the way, mean that Dad has no say in whether you can relocate your mutual child away.

[Dogmatique]

And really - per the thread title - "start our life together"? You mean you can't start it together where you're currently located?

[Nave]

I apologize I am emotional today and that is what came to mind. We are in 2 different states at the moment I know it would be a much better environment for my child and safer to. I am just needing some insight on this.

- - - Updated - - -

yes we have only been divorced a month but separated for several. I have tried to divorce a few times but he is narcissistic and I let that control everything. I am to blame for letting it be that way but I have gotten out and now I want to move on

[Dogmatique]

Can't your boyfriend move to you?

Seriously, the child's access to her other parent is far more important than your new relationship. The other alternative is to give custody to Dad and you'll be free to move wherever you wish.

[Nave]

yes that is an option for sure we discussed this it's just that in Maine it is a much better environment for children to grow up in, the schools are better, I would have a better job and lower cost of living then here

[Dogmatique]

Then go with option B.

Because once you've paid for ALL transportation to and from Arizona when kiddo is with her father, you might find that your lower cost of living goes right out of the window.

[Nave]

Is this something that is impossible to achieve? I am all for longer visitations with dad during summers and breaks from school

[Dogmatique]

No, it's not impossible to be granted a relocation - in fact, it happens very often.

But look at your situation objectively. You were only separated several months before you got divorced, you've only been divorced for a month and you're ready to basically pick up the child and move her across the country AND you're already very involved with another man. That doesn't show stability to the court.

Why didn't you request permission to relocate during the divorce? Because as it stands, I would completely understand if a judge said, "This is nothing but a blatant attempt to thwart the relationship between father and daughter".

Is there any valid reason Dad shouldn't be primary?

[Nave]

I have always handled everything as far as healthcare (dentist, doctors visits) I do all her school volunteering since it is required.I know this may not matter but he gets uncomfortable with the entire thought of puberty and well girl stuff. I stay home when she is sick and he gets nervous with these things. All holidays I have always done all the coordinating gifts for Christmas, Easter baskets just little things. He is more like a babysitter than anything he loves her I know that but he is negligent when it comes to her diet and does not realize portion control and healthy choices. I took her for a checkup recently b/c I was concerned with her weight and I am a very healthy person and she loves the healthy foods but if you provide her with unhealthy stuff she is still a kid and will eat it. The doctor said she is in the 90% range for weight and 50% for height and we need to take this seriously. I let him know and his response was you bought her an ice cream cone at McDonalds the other day.

I keep a journal of everything and a food journal of what she eats when she is with me. I had asked him before we even moved from our other home to call his EAP and see about counseling w/ her so we could be proactive he never did and so I did it thru my insurance ( she is on my plan for medical and dental) and then he got upset and said she is fine and does not need it. He talks to her like a baby and does not have rally any rules, she has chores that she is happy to do here and that is how she earns her allowance he picks her stuff up and still pays her allowance.

When she gets upset or hurt I give her a hug and talk about it or if she gets a cut put a bandaid on it, she says why don't I get a candy that is what dad does he says it makes it better.