Can My Step-Father Take Action Against My Girlfriend Spending the Night

[markdrog09]

Hi,

I didn't know a specific place to put this so I decided to put it here. If it's moved, I understand, but I need some legal help.

So for the past couple of weeks, my girlfriend has been spending then night at my house. I was leaving for Basic Training, so she wanted to spend the night to see me as much as possible, but I was delayed, and I am still at home now.

My Mother gave her consent to stay at the house. She and my Step-father are on the Deed to the House. However, my step father doesn't exactly agree with it. He doesn't inform me of this, however, and instead, I am told by my brother my Step-father went to Court to talk to a judge today about his options to keep my GF from spending the night again. As far as I am concerned, She has limited to no contact with him at all, he barely even speaks to me or even my my Mom, and he is generally disliked by my entire family. But to the point, he doesn't really have grounds to try and file for a restraining order to keep her away, she hasn't done anything to harm him or his property. We stay in my room and that's it. He can't kick her out because my Mom can just invite her back in, as well, I have established residence to the house, can't I just tell her to stay myself? I am 18, as well, my GF is too, even though her own Mother gives her permission to stay anyways. And he can't evict me because my Mom has a say-so too, right?

I'm just not very into the legal field, and I'm not sure about my options, but if he is willing to go to court then I need to be prepared to defend myself.

I know the simple option would to be just leave, but I was expecting to go to training so I could come back and afford an apartment, and to start college, but it seems that won't be an option for now. My Mom won't leave him either, I'm not sure why, no one likes my Step-Dad. But again, I'm off point. I need legal help because I might need to defend myself.

I live in West Virginia, if that helps towards defining laws and rights.

I appreciate any and all help I can get!

[cdwjava]

This seems to be more of a family matter than a legal one.

Do you know what dad's objection might be? Is it that he doesn't like the girl? Or, is it that he has a problem with what he sees as an adulterous or immoral relationship?

I have that same rule in my house. Guests (including, one day, my children) can bring significant others, but there shall be no unmarried shenanigans going on under my roof. So, I can empathize with his feelings if they are moral or or ethical. But, this is hardly a legal matter it would seem.

[markdrog09]

I couldn't tell you. He might use the 'I find it immoral' excuse, but I don't even think he is a very religious person, he just finds me as a 'Insubordinate Child' more or less, in my opinion. Again, me and him have very little contact and rarely speak. If we do, its him complaining about something or riding on me for turning the AC on in the house during the day if I'm there, but he's not, or something more or less he views as I shouldn't be doing. In a way, I think he believes I'm still a child. He even tells me to clean my room, even when its clean from a relative standpoint.

And while I do respect all beliefs (I'm a very tolerable person), I find it he doesn't respect mine. I made sure it was very well regulated. I gave up the bed so she could sleep in it, while I took the floor, I was respectful at night if we were to stay up and watch TV and play video games and kept the noise down. We cleaned up our messes if we cooked something in the kitchen at night. I just feel he doesn't really care for or respect me. He finds me more of a nuisance than anything. At the very least, that's how I feel, as he often never smiles at, talks to, or even acknowledges me unless he finds something to complain about.

According to my Brother, he said that my Step-father did find actions he could take but he never said what. So I wasn't sure if this was true or not.

[cdwjava]

I can't see how he can legally have a guest of his wife's removed. I suppose he can try just about anything, but that seems an extreme reaction to what may be a minor problem.

Though, her presence might be placing other burdens on the family ... money for food, water, electricity, etc. can all add up. They say that each resident in a home consumes a minimum of about $4-500 each month in costs. And if she has been there for a couple of weeks and may be there for longer, he may feel that you or she are taking advantage of his and your mom's kindness to allow her to stay until you left. What started as a short term, temporary thing may seem to be an open-ended potentially permanent arrangement.

It might be time to be a man and sit down and talk with him ... not TO him, not AT him, but WITH him. At least give it a shot.

[markdrog09]

I appreciate the help. That is the best thing to do to be honest, just getting to sit down and talk with him will be the fun part.

And I have paid for most of what myself and my Girlfriend have consumed (Food, Drinks, those types of items) out of my Drill Pay I get once a month, while she pays the most of the rest of the percentage. The rest comes from what snacks my Mom buys specifically for me, she usually brings separate stuff for me and my brother, separate to the rest of the foods in the house. The extras, such as water and electricity, of course come from my Mom and step-dad (That I am aware of, she pays majority of the bills I do believe, due to her making a larger salary than my Step-Father.) But again, I do see the point. And she isn't spending the night anymore on a regular basis, and I am assuring them of that. I already have, prior to this happening.

But I will be planning on talking this over with him and my Mother as well. I appreciate the help!

[cdwjava]

Well, I'm old and I have a son your age so I kinda have the dad's perspective on this. I'm trying to see it from his perspective, and if he feels that they are being taken advantage of by her staying over all the time (or more often than they originally thought, or it being done without consulting them first) then I can see where he might be miffed.

No good for the family can come from his trying the legal method to get you or her out ... but, as it seems you have concluded, it might be best for a sit down with a discussion of what might be acceptable. perhaps every other weekend for one night, maybe two ... maybe a steady contribution to the household kitty ... who knows? But, an airing of the tension is probably what should happen here.