Can You Deny Visitation Due to Baseball Practice

**frncesc2001** · 05-22-2012, 09:08 AM

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: New York

Hi, I'm new to the forum and obviously visiting here because I have a problem.

My child's father has informed me that he is taking me to court. I really am not sure as to why he is taking me, and he will not tell me.

He has been awarded visitation from Friday at 7pm to Sunday at 7pm but rarely follows through with the order as it's not on the top of his list of things to do.

Back in February I called him and asked him if I could sign our son up for baseball. He answered yes and I explained to him that practice for kindergarteners is on Saturday mornings. He still said that was ok. He has moved out of our town so I had to ask him before doing it because it would either mean he lost a day of his visit or had to bring him.

The last visit he had with our son was 3 weeks ago, by his own doing because he just never came to get him. We had a fight because I asked if he could keep his visits with his on and off again girlfriend to the 6 days a week he doesn't have our son. (I have to explain here that I know I have no say, and the only reason that I asked him this was because our son has an emotional disability and is very attached to this girl, every time they break up I watch our son get hurt more than either one of them because he doesn't see this girl any more). He did agree with me on the phone about this though, which gave me comfort that he doesn't want to see our son hurt.

He informed me this past Sunday that if he comes to get our son on Friday he will not take him to baseball on Saturday. Then when I questioned him yesterday, what his problem is exactly so we can talk, he told me I will see when I get the papers. He then said, I will be there friday at 7pm and if I don't send our son he will file a violation. (Which is bs considering he blows our son off for months at a time and I don't violate as it wouldn't do anything anyways).

I talked to my son, not about the court or anything, about going to his father's this weekend. I told him that his dad (whom he idolizes I may mention) wants to pick him up Friday and spend the weekend with him. I then told him that dad won't be bringing him to baseball. My son looked at me and said, "I have a idea." I said what's that, he said, "How about I stay home and I can go to baseball."...

What can I do? There are only a few weeks left of baseball and it's so great to finally have found a pasttime he enjoys. I can see him growing emotionally every week when he goes. He's learning things that you can only learn in sports.

**asulover** · 05-22-2012, 09:19 AM

As the custodial parent its your job to explain to your child that seeing his father comes before baseball. Regardless of agreements over the phone the court order trumps all of this. Your ex has parenting time from Friday-Sunday, if you do not release the child you are in violation. You also have no right to say whether or not he has his girlfriend around the child. I don't know what he could have filed in court unless you have been in contempt or he is looking to change physical custody so I'm not sure what your question is.

If you are asking what you can do about the baseball I would suggest you sit down and explain to your child that seeing his Dad is more important and he can play baseball next week.

**frncesc2001** · 05-22-2012, 09:41 AM

That stinks. My son finally likes something and he will have to forfeit it so he can sit on the couch at dad's house. I was afraid that would be the answer. As for the girlfriend thing, I know I have no say. It's why I just asked that he do it on other days. I have not stopped my son from going, he just has not even attempted to pick him up. I'm not sure what he is taking me to court for...He doesn't want custody of our son, he is on a power trip at the moment. I guess I will have to take away his baseball since it's only on Saturday. Thanks for your help.

**asulover** · 05-22-2012, 11:26 AM

If your son loves baseball then find a weekday league that does not interfer with parenting time, thats what we did. My step son goes to his mothers but still plays baseball, swimming and does karate, none of which conflict with her schedule. He understands that he will miss some time during summers, which we explain when he is enrolled.