Non-Custodial Parent is Threatening Not to Return the Children

[Dogmatique]

You can't modify it in that nature. He's entitled to due process - a court order cannot override that. Even if you could, what would it do?

If he's going to keep the kids beyond his parenting time, a piece of paper isn't going to stop him. You can't do anything proactively because again, you have no proof that he intends to keep the kids. If you did, again, you might have recourse.

[whhoknu]

I can't get proof....mostly because it's illegal to record phone calls and secondly I had to change my cell number (he has to call the land line now) because of harassment from him and his girlfriend from his phone so he can't text me anymore..... I'm just stuck and it just doesn't feel fair to do that to my kids and chance them being stuck there because he's using them as pawns. Everything they do is here, sports boy scouts, school etc.....

[horseyjess]

I feel for you I do. You are not responsible for getting the kids to him extra times. You really need to listen to Dogmatique! Unfortunately things aren’t fair. We as adults know this. I can hang out a list of things that arent fair. What good is that going to do? You have a court order. Nothing can be done until AFTER the court order is broken. I know this from dealing with my husband’s ex. She threatens not to send the kids year after year. We even had emails where she would say she is not going to. So a few years back we took her to court over it. The judge told my Husband this is NOT a contempt matter until after the time frame has passed. So let him spew his threats. If he keeps the kids file for an emergency motion to have the kids returned and contempt. It sucks that the system is reactive not proactive. But in the same sentence if it was proactive because of he said she said WOW would there be more problems.

[NYI310]

You know, this could be partly him just freaking out or speaking in anger. Don't let his issues become your issues. He can threaten all he wants, but in the end, he may just return the kids as ordered. People make empty threats out of anger all the time.

It does you no good to freak out in advance of something that has not and may not occur. Good luck.

[Dogmatique]

I feel for you I do. You are not responsible for getting the kids to him extra times. You really need to listen to Dogmatique! Unfortunately things aren’t fair. We as adults know this. I can hang out a list of things that arent fair. What good is that going to do? You have a court order. Nothing can be done until AFTER the court order is broken. I know this from dealing with my husband’s ex. She threatens not to send the kids year after year. We even had emails where she would say she is not going to. So a few years back we took her to court over it. The judge told my Husband this is NOT a contempt matter until after the time frame has passed. So let him spew his threats. If he keeps the kids file for an emergency motion to have the kids returned and contempt. It sucks that the system is reactive not proactive. But in the same sentence if it was proactive because of he said she said WOW would there be more problems.

Once again, this would NOT be an emergency.

I truly do wish people would stop advising everyone else to file this emergency petition, that emergency petition - because 99 times out of 100, the situation does NOT constitute an emergency and it does nothing except piss off the judge and the court, and cost the petitioner money.

Thanks

[horseyjess]

Once again, this would NOT be an emergency.

I truly do wish people would stop advising everyone else to file this emergency petition, that emergency petition - because 99 times out of 100, the situation does NOT constitute an emergency and it does nothing except piss off the judge and the court, and cost the petitioner money.

Thanks

The situation as is stands does not constitue an emergency. The not returning the children per the court order wouldnt constitue an emergency? If that doesnt than what does? If my ex was states away and didnt return my children to me per the order, I for one would view that as an emergency. Now threats def not an emergency!

[Dogmatique]

The situation as is stands does not constitue an emergency. The not returning the children per the court order wouldnt constitue an emergency? If that doesnt than what does? If my ex was states away and didnt return my children to me per the order, I for one would view that as an emergency. Now threats def not an emergency!

Nope - it generally doesn't constitute an emergency.

Please don't misunderstand. Personally, I think it might well be a good reason to file an emergency order - but the courts (generally) don't see it that way. The children are not in danger, they're not at risk, and they're with the other parent. Hence no emergency.

Here's an idea of when it would be appropriate.

1. The parent with custody is arrested and remanded in custody pending a trial;
2. The parent is severely injured and cannot take care of the kids;
3. The parent is NOT legally established as parent, but takes the kids and runs.

See where I'm going?

[aardvarc]

Emergencies are seen by the court as those things which put the child at physical risk - which is completely unrelated to how much not returning the child might upset the custodial parent. If the parent is legally established as such, and the court has some idea of where the child is, and the child has adequate food, shelter, supervision, etc then there's no emergency. If the parent isn't established, yet takes the child to the desert to live in a car to escape capture on warrants for one or more violent crimes...ok...THERE is an emergency.

[aaron]

The concept of "emergency", in simple terms, is simply a mechanism to get an ex parte hearing or an expedited hearing for a motion. Whether and when a court will regard an issue as justifying an emergency hearing can depend on local practice, but let's just say that most parents bringing custody motions think of their motions as being of the utmost urgency while to the court most of those motions seem pretty routine.

If, for example, the children are not going to be returned in time for their first day of school, I would expect a court to be more receptive to expediting the proceedings.

[asulover]

My step sons mother did not return our step son once. IT started in June and we didn't get in front of a judge until Jan. Thats almost 7 months, then it was pushed into mediation and didn't get solved until May. Close to a year for her not having to return the child. They don't see that as an emergency because the child is not in "danger"