Is It Child Abuse to Speak Negatively About the Other Parent

[irishsun77]

My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: Florida

The father has 2 of our children in Florida (no trial has been set and no court order has been established) I have sent him an email to have him prepare our children for the transition that will be coming up soon, to have them know they will have 2 houses and will be visiting mommy soon. He has done the opposite, he has have had our children call me to tell me how can I be taking them from their daddy, and that they don't want to come stay with me, and that I don't love them enough because I won't move back to Florida, and that his girlfriend is going to be their new mommy and if I am going to come to their wedding. That is just the start of it, when I tell them that they will be coming to visit me soon and spend some time with me they say no, we are not going there, you need to come here, (by the way they are 5 and 4 years old.) Also, the new girlfriend does things better than mommy does and that I can't take them from their daddy. I am so afraid they shut down or become depressed because of all these things that are being put in their heads, what should I do?

[LawResearcherMissy]

Is It Child Abuse to Speak Negatively About the Other Parent

No. It's inappropriate, immature, and the mark of a real jerk, but it is NOT child abuse.

no trial has been set and no court order has been established

You need to get custody and visitation formally established through the courts, and you need to do that right now.

[irishsun77]

Yes I am currently awaiting our court trial for the decision of who will receive primary custody. He is currently fighting very dirty ( which is to be expected) and continuing to be very controlling. Thank you for your reply

[aardvarc]

How long have the children been living with him (that'll be a HUGE factor, regardless of other issues)? The longer they've been living with dad and establishing a life, routines, etc the less likely to court is going to be to completely uproot their daily lives, UNLESS either dad agrees, or is found to be unfit.

The other big factor is WHY they were living with him, rather than with you. Most often, it's because one parent moves out to set up a home of their own and get settled. The problem this creates on a legal front is two-fold: first, it tells the court that the other parent must be perfectly fine, since the children were left with that parent, and the second is the time issue as above - courts are VERY reluctant to alter custody without SERIOUS reason once the children are established. How long is established? There's no set number, but every day, week, month that passes with them living with dad is a day, week, month worth of argument to dad's benefit that it's in the best interest of the children to remain where they are. Time is DEFINATELY a BIG factor.

[irishsun77]

I came out to NM for work, and he was suppose to take care of his license because he does not have one, because it was revoked due to all the traffic tickets and failure to appear in court and traffic school. Anyways, he was to join us with our other two children in NM he had plane tickets all ready purchased for him and our children, we sold our house and put everything in storage before I left with our youngest daughter to NM that was in august of 2011. During Sept and Oct he was not working on any of his issues he said he was going to work on when we left, instead he had moved in with the woman he is now with and that she was carrying his baby. So in October my mom and I flew to Florida to get our children because he was telling I was never going to see our children again if I did not comply to his demands and give him money. When we flew down there (even though he is not on their birth certificates) the officer told my mom and I we could not take them from the home without a court order (because he held them in the house and wouldn't let anyone in) and I could not be there without an officer because we were trespassing. As the officer finally got him to come outside and talk with me the officer heard him telling me without the money I was not able to see or talk to the kids and was the witness to extortion. This is why we are here now today with a custody case because I filed in October and have been waiting on the courts since. So this time away from them has not been by choice. Thank you for all your support and answers

[Mr. Knowitall]

If disparagement is a significant issue. consider having a non-disparagement clause added to the custody order.