Custodial Interference by the Non-Custodial Parent

[stepmom80]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: South Dakota
My husband is active duty military, and he has sole custody, legal and physical of his two sons, both over 10. He did once share joint with his ex but she refused to cooperate with him about anything, and repeatedly attacked and threatened me in all correspondence and incessantly talks about me and my kids in a nasty way. We took her back to court with the documents proving this and joint custody was taken from her. However, she was not ordered to pay support like we asked, and we were actually ordered to provide transportation and costs for her visitation in July and August. I am forced to deal with her not my husband because he is in the military and not always available. We are ready to move to a new duty station and it will be at the same time as her scheduled visitation and I will be too busy and will not have the money to take them to her because my hubby will still be overseas, and I have power of attorney. I can request the military pay for their ticket but I will need a statement from her that shows her cooperation in helping with a smooth transition and taking responsibility of them when they arrive at her city. Instead of giving me the documentation she just went back to here old ways and threatened me and accused me of ridiculous things, all while avoiding acknowledging her kids. AGAIN. What are my options. I have no choice but to turn in the paperwork without her statement and they will be sent with me. How can I avoid being accused of custodial interference for not taking the kids to her like I'm ordered to if she won't help and I am unable to do it this year? She has NEVER tried to visit them and always blames us for not showing up or doing anything for her kids. She tried to accuse me of many things in court but I had the documentation to prove she was lying. She lost in the end but I am worried, I can't find anything online about that, only situation where the custodial parent wont allow visitation, not the other way around. Please help.

[Dogmatique]

Your options are few - POA does not allow you to actually act in court on behalf of your husband.

This isn't custodial interference. Your husband is moving - you being "too busy" and not having the money is not a valid excuse not to transport the children per the court order.

As mean as it might sound on her part, she's not obliged to provide anything in order for you to get free military transportation.

I'm sorry, but if you're required to provide the transportation that's what you're required to do. Her cooperation would be nice, but it's not legally obliged.

Now would your husband be held in contempt? Perhaps, perhaps not - but he should have known this was a possibility and made preparations for it.

[stepmom80]

Thanks for your answer. I figured as much and I was still going to be held responsible. I actually do have a special POA that specifically gives me power to act in court for the boys which I had to do to get custody for him and to do anything else I see fit for them, when he on missions. We knew for years something like this would happen. I am a veteran myself. We planned carefully and told the judge how she behaves when they first went to court for custody before we went overseas. custody was never established in court, my husband just raised his kids since they were very little when she left them. We went to court for custody just to avoid this. We did not have proof of how she behaves and the judge granted her joint with my husband. She of course kept us from doing many things for her kids becaue she would not give documentation for things that the Military wants, not the court, things like that are up to the discretion of the commander, I dont agree with it all, but that is not my call. So we took her to court again this time with over 100 pages of her nasty emails and threats. The judge took custody from her but ordered us to only send them to her when we return to the states, because that was what WE wanted, not her, because she would not even agree with visitation, just wanted to attack me constantly, we wanted her to be involved with her kids, but not stand in our way to do military things just to spite us. I have been trying to return early due to disabilities I have incurred since moving here from a car accident and my husband cannot go with me just yet, but I may go with my own children. My husband cannot deploy, train and all that other fun stuff with his two kids and no one to watch them without making arrangements to do so prior to his absence, and god forbid something terrible happen. She ran from the court hearing for custody for 18 months and caused about 10 continuances until he was given full custody when she finally did show. She lied about everything and we proved it with her own emails. She lost. The judge said we provide transportation only when they are in the boundaries of the US, because of our military duties. I have been trying to do this since last summer, that is why we took her to court, so I wouldnt have to put up with her abusive nature towards me when I do finally leave. one year has past, and I still have to drive 8 hours round trip just to see my doctor, this is one reason why I will be leaving, and our command supports me going because they do not have the resources to accomidate my disabilities and it is a hardship on my family and me. My command is making a decision to send me home and pay for costs because that is one of our benefits. But the military will not just pay to fly minors to different destinations for no good documented reason. They are well aware of the troubles we been having with her for years, and are not convinced they are doing the right thing sending them to her without documentation for their own reasons. I cannot leave the kids here, but I cannot fly them to her either, I just cant afford it, because I am disabled and been unable to work for two years, I am now in vocational rehab and we have a family of 8. It's just too bad and that is that. I actually wanted to know if it was right for me to notify the court of my well documented hardships and the valid reasons I cannot do it this summer. I have no control over the army or court. But I cannot satisfy them both, and I knew something like this would happen, and it has.