Is Saying "I Saw You on an Adult Website" Defamation of Character

[SallySmith]

Hello and thank you in advance to whoever will take the time to listen to my story. Very much appreciated

I am currently married, my husband has physical custody of his son from a previous marriage. His ex wife is currently paying child support.
She has never met me in person.
A couple of months back we started to receive harassing emails from this woman, where she claimed she has been doing researches on me since last year, and that she found mature content pictures and videos of myself and my husband on the website.
She also sent some pictures of a lady who she claims being me, calling me all kind of names, and threatening my husband to send those pictures out with a mass email (involving FOC and CPS), if he doesn't opt out from child support.

The woman on those pictures is not me, and it is pretty easy to tell for whoever has seen me in person.
Nor me or my husband have never, at any time, posted mature content pictures or videos on the web.

She has never claimed the exact reason why she keeps harassing us with this, even after we asked her several times to stop. We are thinking she might be trying to build a case of "bad parenthood" which of course has no ground.
My question is: in case she decide to bring this matter to court, will this be ground for a counter-sue for Defamation of Character or Slander, and Harassment?

Again, thank you so much. Any kind of advice is greatly appreciated.

S.S.

[Mr. Knowitall]

Defamation involves making statements to a third party. If somebody makes a false claim about you only to you, it's not defamation as it has not been shared with a third party.

[aardvarc]

A couple of months back we started to receive harassing emails from this woman,

Make sure you SAVE every one of those emails.

where she claimed she has been doing researches on me since last year, and that she found mature content pictures and videos of myself and my husband on the website.
She also sent some pictures of a lady who she claims being me, calling me all kind of names, and threatening my husband to send those pictures out with a mass email (involving FOC and CPS), if he doesn't opt out from child support.

First, CPS and related entities wouldn't care even if the people in those images WERE you and hubby. Heck, you could go to bondage parties every night of your lives, or be world famous porn stars posting every sexual encounter you had with each other or anyone else, and it still wouldn't matter. Unless ANY aspect of your life, sexual or otherwise, can be PROVEN to be adversely impacting the CHILD, it's irrelevant.

The woman on those pictures is not me, and it is pretty easy to tell for whoever has seen me in person. Nor me or my husband have never, at any time, posted mature content pictures or videos on the web.

Doesn't matter, even if it WAS you.

She has never claimed the exact reason why she keeps harassing us with this,

One really obvious reason: she doesn't want to pay child support. She either thinks dad can let her off the hook (and no, it doesn't work that way), or she's insinuating that she'll attempt to seek custody based on the images - which also won't work.

even after we asked her several times to stop. We are thinking she might be trying to build a case of "bad parenthood" which of course has no ground.

Of course not. So don't give her the satisfaction of reacting to it. She's throwing dirt at the moon. Ain't gonna matter.

My question is: in case she decide to bring this matter to court, will this be ground for a counter-sue for Defamation of Character or Slander, and Harassment?

No. Court proceedings are generally exempt from such things. If she's stupid enough to actually try to go to court with this stuff, she'll get her ass handed to her in a sling by the judge. If she's harassing you or hubby, one or both of you can speak to police about a criminal charge, such as harassment or even stalking, depending on the nature, frequency, and exact content of her communications.

She's digging herself into a hole - let her. Judges HATE this sort of mud slinging and extortion and most will be happy to cover that hole she's digging - with her in it.

[SallySmith]

Thank you Mr. Knowitall and Aardvarc for your response.

Catherine (I take that is your name, as I see on your signature ) we did actually talk to a police agent, who said he was going to call her asking her to stop whatever she is doing.... and we got an actual letter a couple of days ago where she thank us for the beautiful conversation and laughter she had with the agent, whom she said she told "what to google", and telling me "I cannot wait to meet you in person".
I do smell fishy, and I honestly would love for her to dig her own grave as she is doing.
We just don't want to lose money on an attorney if she decide to bring these false accusations to court. Therefore my thought on the counter-sue.
Thank you again for your precious help.

[Conrad Hunter]

How can she bring the "false allegations to court"?

For anyone to bring something to court, they have to have legal standing. There is a big legal argument in many states if grandparents even have legal standing to challenge custody issues. No third party has any legal standing to bring anything to court. And as others have said, there is nothing illegal about your conduct even if the allegations were true.

She thinks the pictures are of you and your husband. Even if they were and even if it was relevant to some legal situation how would she prove it, even if she had a forum? In a court, what is she going to do, hire her own expert witnesses on facial recognition? Give me a break, the whole thing is absurd.

What is her argument, you are using child support payments to purchase expensive camera equipment?

I don't get what she hopes to gain. If she is trying to get the child support payments reduced, she can take that to court. Her porno obsession though is totally outside all rules of evidence and said porno couldn't be introduced. It could not be authenticated even if it fell under some hearsay exception for evidence, which it doesn't. Any court is going to recognize her agenda for what it is.

You could try to get a non-contact order or restraining order against her to put an end to the harrassing communications.

[SallySmith]

What is her argument, you are using child support payments to purchase expensive camera equipment? <---- Oh my, this made my day!
Thank you Conrad for your response.
I do think she does not make any sense either. Her agenda might make a lot of sense to her, I'm sure.
I was just a bit concerned IN CASE she might bring this whole imaginary circus to court. I really do not want to pay a lawyer for her nonsense accusations.
Thank you again.
S.S.