My question involves a child custody case from the State of: CA, NJ
Please help. I am a US citizen of Vietnamese decent, and a residence of NJ. My partner is Vietnamese and gained citizenship via a "questionable" marriage and is a "residence" of CA, her time in the US was from 2007 to 2010, her marriage was with someone else.
I met her in Vietnam in 2005 and rekindled when she came to the States. Long story short, we had moved back to Vietnam in 2008 to live together and grow a business in which I did all the funding into it (guess how that ended up). Luckily I never went through with a marriage license with her. However we have a child together, born in February of 2011 in Vietnam.
Long story short once she had my child and saw how utterly in love I was with him, she slipped and let me become aware of the utter dishonesty deception and conniving on her part. Due to the fact that I was aware of her deception, and that she could no longer manipulate me emotionally, she used our son and took him away from me when he was only 3 months old. She did his birth certificate without my name as his father. She has both Vietnamese and US citizenship and tells me she was also able to get both Vietnamese and US citizenship for our son. I don't know if that is true or not. Since then she has tried to use our son to manipulate me, and drive me insane with grief. In emails she will say nice things, but off record she will say if I don't do things the way she wants she will keep him away from me forever or threaten to use him to make my life miserable etc. She has also tried threatening me in other ways. Due to my ignorance of Vietnamese culture and law or lack there of, I felt it would be better if I went back to the States to restart. It has been extremely difficult for me to even speak to her since due to her deception and dishonesty.
I am back in NJ now. It has been almost 10 months since she left with him, and about 7 months since I've last held him in my arms. I'm afraid this kind of woman is uncommon. On one hand I utterly want to be my son's father, but on the other hand I am no longer willing to let the mother take advantage of me financially or cause harm and grief to myself or the rest of my family members. She has not openly or on record asked for child support yet, but I am trying to see what's best for me and my son in the long run, what would be the most advantageous way for me so that I might gain some legal leverage and at least joint custody of my son?
What I would like most right now is that she bring him to the States. I have been trying to find out if there is any way for me to demand this. If she is supposedly living under "US citizenship" and my son also has US citizenship do I have any rights as a US citizen to demand to be his legal father and demand that he stays in the US. She has also mentioned a few times about their Vietnamese citizenship and that she could keep him forever there if she wanted. So first this is a matter of jurisdiction. She is a "residence" of CA, I am NJ, but they both have Vietnamese and US citizenship, and they are both living and staying in Vietnam. She does occasionally come back to the States for business every 1 year or so, she has not brought my son to the US yet. Is there a time limit?
If nothing else I would like to get some professional opinions as to what my legal standing is. What my plan of action should be to be a part of my son's life. I want to know what sort of outlook I should prepare for in terms of hopes for custody, and of course child support. Should I sue for parental rights in Vietnam now? or wait until she gets to the States? Should I start some sort of action in CA so when she brings him to the States, I can demand parental rights, and he stays in the States. Is it possible to keep him in the States? Could she demand child support as a US citizen with my US salary while she keeps him in Vietnam? That would be the most unfair and unbearable condition. Recently she has said that she will let me have my name on his birth certificate once she brings him back to the States (but she won't say how long that will be), but only if I sign something stating that I can't take him away from her, whatever that means.
I understand answers about Vietnam law are out of the question, but any help would be appreciated, but please only if you have solid answers or know for sure, I have been on a wild goose chase for the past 10 months.
from a father missing his son