My question involves paternity law for the State of: OH (possibly MA)
Will try to be consise, but it's a complicated one. It involves paternity testing, child support, legals rights... man, it's a beast! Also, sorry about the thread title. I have no idea how to sum all this up in 85 characters or less. If a mod or admin would like to edit it, feel free!
Here are the order of events in as little detail as possible:
- I slept with a girl who was sleeping with someone else.
- She got pregnant and was not sure who the father was. All parties were aware of this.
- Several months into pregnancy, she got married to other guy.
- When baby was born, mother told me they had paternity test done and that the other guy was the dad.
- I believed it like an idiot and moved on (you don't get a paternity test back in a few hours).
- 1 1/2 years later, mother contacts me and tells me that she lied about the test, that we still didn't know who the dad was
- When the child was 3 years old, we got the test done and it turns out that I was the paternal father, but we never got the birth certificate changed over so that she had my last name instead of the other guy's.
- I immediately started paying her $150 per month for child support.
- Mother was still telling my daughter that the other guy was also his dad and still taking her over there to spend nights with him.
- After over a year of this, I finally snapped under all the stress and stopped talking to the mother and my daughter. Hambone move on my part, I know, but I am just being brutally honest here.
- After that, the mother moved to Cleveland (3-hour drive from her old home) and got married to someone else.
- Several years later, she moves to MA where she lives now.
- Through irrelevant means, I got back in contact with my daughter when she was 11 and have been in touch with her ever since through texts and emails
- I come to find out that, when her mother brings her down to Ohio for holidays and whatnot, that she's still giving the other guy time with her, sometimes multiple nights in a row when she could be with me.
Okay, so that's the story. Why the mother is doing this, I don't know. But things are about to get hairy here soon, I know it.
What I want if the world were perfect:
- Get my daughter's birth certificate changed so that she has my last name
- Start paying child support
- Some legal "retraining" order to prevent my daughter from being in the other guy's sole care, custody, and control
- The mother to move back to Ohio
The mother wants to get the birth certificate changed over, but I know that's just so she can collect child support from me through the court. I don't think she can do that now because the other guy is still technically the legal father, I believe. I know she doesn't care about the name change because she told me that the reason why she wants it is in case something happens to her, she didn't want my daughter to go to him. She makes no sense to me. FWIW, I am paying for my daughter to get braces, so that's at least something for the time being.
Anyway, are there any legal actions I could take to help bring everything back to normal? Couldn't it be declared psychologically damaging to my daughter all the things the mother is doing (eg, letting her think she has two dads, sharing her time with the two of us, etc)? What legal ammunition do I have at my disposal that I could use to my advantage?
On the flip side, what does the mother have that she could use against me?
In closing this, I am fully prepared to take ample flack for leaving her when she was 4, but, in all honesty, I couldn't take the stress anymore. I felt like I was just trying to win over someone else's child, as if she wasn't even my daughter. At any rate, fire away. I got my bull's eye shirt on for your convenience.