Is There a Time Line for Parental Rights and Visitation

[beezer70]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Florida
My child is 6 yrs old and has lived with me and my husband for all of his 6 yrs of life. His bio father has been paying CS for 1 1/2 yrs per the courts but no visitation was ordered in court . Can his bio take us to court for visitation ? My 6 yr. old does not and has never seen or the met the bio and has our last name if that helps. Is there a time frame of parental rights ? Thank you .

[Dogmatique]

He can absolutely ask for visitation at any point right up until the child is 18. Your son knows that your husband isn't his father, yes?

How does your child have your married name, incidentally?

Did Dad agree?

[beezer70]

That is sad as the bio has done nothing the entire 6 yrs the child has been born . No my child is only 6 he has grown up with my husband as his daddy . My husband takes care of him in every way . So the answer is no. He has no reason to know that information . Child has never met bio he abandoned us at hospital .
My child has my (our) last name because in the state of FL per VS I was married at time of conception and was married at time of birth the child will be given my last name until bio is determined by DNA.
My husband became unemployed due to BP situation in our area and we applied for state help . The state went after bio . We wanted nothing from him after trying so long to get him to be apart of the childs life up to about age 3 yrs.
The judge ordered CS but no visitation and then asked about the name to be on BC . I told judge that I wanted it kept the same for the sake of the child as he would not understand at age 5 why he know had a different name than , mom , dad and brother , so judge kept it the same.
We would love adopt but bio is unstable , heavy drinker and do not think he would out of spite , though he has nothing to do with child for 6 yrs now.
How can he after 6 yrs just come into my life and hurt my child ? It will mentally destroy him .

PS me and my husband were separated for a year when this pregnancy happened .

[Dogmatique]

I really do understand your frustration Mom, but the legal reality is that Dad can come back into your child's life at any point.

Please don't shoot the messenger either, when I say this - but if your child is mentally destroyed as a result of Dad coming back, at least part of it is because you and your husband have lied to him all of his life.

Every reputable medical, sociological and psychological association/agency in the country recommends telling the child the truth from the earliest appropriate point - in most cases, this is as simple as "This is John, your Daddy isn't around right now" as early as the child can comprehend who Mommy is. A reminder, a photograph, is often recommended, too. There really is no reason to lie about the child's parentage.

Your child deserves to know his heritage - the sooner he knows the truth, the better. Counseling may help a great deal, even if Dad doesn't make an appearance. If your child finds out at say, 13 - a difficult time at best - he's going to feel betrayed by the two people he's trusted most in his life.

I know this is difficult to read, and I understand if you get angry with me. That's fine. But you do need to know how the legal community and those who specialize in child psychology and welfare consider such things.

I do wish you the best of luck, no matter what happens. But you must be prepared for the court to allow Dad to exercise his constitutionally-protected rights if he wishes to do so.

[beezer70]

Thank you for the info and yes I am angry, not at your advise or words but at the thought this alcoholic man with no home and nothing to offer and now only wants into my child's life because he has had to pay and can't go to the bar as much . He has nothing to offer the child at all. Bio is also mentally unstable .
It was not our intention to lie to our child . We just wanted his life to be happy , healthy and stable as could be as we never thought about the Bio wanting to come into the picture. We are not psychologists so no it wasn't simple or easy to figure out what to do for us .
The only issues I have with what you have said is that you throw the term Dad around very loosely . I have been through a lot myself as a young child with alcoholic dad , step father's and I did not want that to be apart of my child's life .
To me a daddy or dad is the one that is there for you always no matter what , the one who provides for you in every way possible . Anyone can be a bio or a father . Dad is there from the start . My husband was even though he knew the child wasn't his . My husband paid for his birth and provided every thing he needed to come into this world . To me that is a dad . The one who gives you love and the knowledge to grow as a person.

There was no visitation ordered but there was medical and bio hasn't done that . Also the BC has never been changed . I will take your advise as just that and hope it better prepare's me if bio dad does decide to take me to court .

Thank you,

[beezer70]

On BC it says legal father not dad so that is why I am bothered by that . I only came on here to ask a question . I was asked a few back and answered as truthfully as I could . I didn't expect to be told things were my fault or to be called a liar or told I was a liar . It was not intentional as I explained above.
If Bio would of stepped up and had been there as a daddy from day one like I asked of him , he would already know his son and have a 6 yr relationship with him. I came on this site seeking some insight because of threatening emails I have been receiving . I was warned by several friends not to that people looked to these sites to bash you . As to that, this is my last post and thank you again for your time, thought and energy .

[ksmom]

Okay wait - Dog, correct me if I'm wrong... OP was MARRIED to her current husband at the time her son was born. So, really, isn't an adoption unnecessary? Wouldn't he be the legal father at this time? And wouldn't DNA need to be done and legal father need to sign off on his rights in order for biological father to establish his???? So, since legal father has been 'father' for so long, wouldn't it be fairly difficult for biological father to come in and do this?

OP - Why is there a child support order if your husband is the child's legal father???

I think we're all missing something here.... Or is it just me?

[Dogmatique]

Child support has been ordered; at some point bio Dad was declared the legal father by the state hence it's a non-issue.

[aardvarc]

Correct. If bio dad is paying COURT ORDERED child support, then he has already been recognized as having a legal RESPONSIBILITY to this child. The opposite side of that coin is that he is then free to seek RIGHTS regarding the child - at least until there is an adoption which would absolve bio dad of both rights AND responsibilities. It's only in VERY rare cases where a parent gets to pay to support a child that they are not allowed to seek contact with (such as if there was a history of violence against the specific child, or, convictions for things like sex crimes against children). In other words, unless bio dad can be shown to be an immediate and foreseeable danger to the child, he has every expectation to be awarded SOME level of visitation if he should seek it (usually supervised at first, to allow them to get to know each other, but eventually becoming "standard" visitation, with overnights, weeks over summer, etc.)

[beezer70]

Does bio have to sign off his parental rights for adoption to occur ? or can we just go to court house and file for adoption ? BC has never been changed , No I do not know why ? Bio has never seen child and hasn't tried till now 6 yrs later. Yes I know I need a lawyer when it comes down to it but I saw this site and thought I could get some advise from someone that has gone through this , not real legal advise , though I didn't expect to be bashed and a member taking things personally against me not knowing . bio is a danger to the child and I have plenty of evidence to that fact . Thank you for plainly answering about this issue I am having . Not sure I will be back on to see any more reply's but thank you all that gave good concise information.