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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    3

    Default How Can a Father Give Up His Rights to Avoid Paying Child Support

    My question involves child support in the State of: Maryland


    Back in 2007 I had a one night stand.
    In Sept 2011 I received a call stating "We have a court date" I went online and looked up some info, and apparently she had a baby, and also had 3 other men tested. all their results were negative so she ordered a paternity test for me.

    I took it and a few days later i found out that I have a 4 year old by a woman i dont even know!

    As soon as the results came back she turned the courtroom into an episode of maury yelling "baby father this and baby father that"
    she had to be removed from the court for causing a scene.

    I was told that I would have to pay my support to the state of Maryland since she received public housing and Temporary Cash Assistance.

    seeing as how we have never dated, gone out on date knew NOTHING about each other
    We are from two different worlds, Im a senior in college looking to make my way to grad school and she has 3 kids by 3 three diff men!
    A few days later we spoke and both agreed that i could terminate my rights.

    Now i need to know HOW

    I've heard that the child has to be adopted

    Please help, What are my options? I dont want any part of this AT ALL!

    I had NO AGENCY in regards to her pregnancy, Now Im the bad guy because I'm not willing to put my life on pause and becoming a parent at her convience!?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    17,292

    Default Re: Baby by a Woman I Don't Even Know

    She didn't get pregnant by herself, pal. You were there at the time. If it was your DNA that did the deed, it doesn't matter diddly how many other men she was with.

    I am not the expert here, but I'll be VERY surprised if the state allows you to terminate your rights. Even if she agrees to it.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    27,199

    Default Re: Baby by a Woman I Don't Even Know

    I had NO AGENCY in regards to her pregnancy, Now Im the bad guy because I'm not willing to put my life on pause and becoming a parent at her convience!?
    You did have something to do with her having this child so this is as much your fault as hers.

    Plan on paying until the child is adopted or turns 18 (or possibly 21 if going to school), whichever comes first.

    You apparently need to learn how to use a condom so this doesn't happen again.

    There is only one state I know of that allows a termination of paternal rights and MD isn't that state. There might be others but I have not heard of them.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Baby by a Woman I Don't Even Know

    NO AGENCY

    Agency- : the capacity, condition, or state of acting or of exerting power

    http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/agency

    I had no agency in regard to her PREGNANCY

    Meaning during the 9 months she carried that thing I had no input, no say so, no chance to abort it now im stuck with a child i dont want

    What i am saying sounds very harsh But i am telling you the truth.

    This is a baby from a complete stranger that i had sex with back in high school days.
    yes we both agreed to have sex but we BOTH DID NOT agree on having a baby

    My life is over

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    17,292

    Default Re: Baby by a Woman I Don't Even Know

    Tough cookies. You had the option to abstain. You had the option to use protection. If you were thinking with the wrong brain at the time, that's just too damned bad. Your northern brain should have known that once your southern brain gets action, a child can result. If you were too stupid or too horny to pay attention to that warning, then you're stuck with the results of that little decision. You don't get a vote on whether she carries the child to term; you had your chance to vote before you presented her with your DNA. Next time keep it in your pants if you're not willing to take on the responsibility of what you've created.

    I have no sympathy whatsoever for irresponsible jerks like you. If you can't pay, don't play.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    107

    Default Re: Baby by a Woman I Don't Even Know

    Quote Quoting outlaw221
    View Post
    NO AGENCY

    Agency- : the capacity, condition, or state of acting or of exerting power

    http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/agency

    I had no agency in regard to her PREGNANCY

    Meaning during the 9 months she carried that thing I had no input, no say so, no chance to abort it now im stuck with a child i dont want

    What i am saying sounds very harsh But i am telling you the truth.

    This is a baby from a complete stranger that i had sex with back in high school days.
    yes we both agreed to have sex but we BOTH DID NOT agree on having a baby

    My life is over
    You will not be able to sign rights away unless she is married, her husband adopts the child with her permission. You agreed to having a child when you had sex. Law is the child is half yours, you will be paying child support. Either way you would have had no say with her pregnant or to abort if you would have known. You have a child, you need to accept that. Decide whether to send off support or be involved. You will also be paying back support and will end up in jail if you fail to do so.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Baby by a Woman I Don't Even Know

    And go ask your parents why they didn't bother to EDUCATE you that making babies has the consequence of having to SUPPORT the children you make. Then make sure to educate THIS child, and any other children you make, of the same fact....BEFORE they are old enough to start baby-making. Absolutely NONE of this should have come as a surprise to you, and if it did, go back to mom and dad and ask WHY they sent you into the world so completely ignorant of such important things - instead of you having to find out the hard (and expensive) way.
    Catherine NeSmith
    Executive Director
    AARDVARC.org, Inc.
    http://www.aardvarc.org

    Fave Big Bang Theory site: Sheldon Cooper Fans

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    582

    Default Re: Baby by a Woman I Don't Even Know

    Have you considered filing for joint custody? So long as you are the father and paying support, you might as well get to know the child.

    If rights were eventually terminated, you would be liable for any past support owed.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    CT & IL
    Posts
    5,276

    Default Re: Baby by a Woman I Don't Even Know

    The short answer is NO, you cannot give up your rights to release you from child support.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Baby by a Woman I Don't Even Know

    iI dont want anything to do with that child. I just found out about it's existence a few months ago and ALREADY it has begun destroying my life! I have NO children because I DONT WANT ANY.

    I am fully aware of the responsibility, that comes with raising a child. That is why my gf of 3 years and I have none. We both agreed that we would not consider having children until we graduated from grad school, were well into our careers and we were married.

    As previously posted.... This woman contacted me in sept of 2011 telling me about a child that is 4 years old

    Her and I were never in a relationship never dated I knew nothing about her carrying my child for nine months.

    I never knew ANYTHING about this child prior to that date.

    having all of this sprung on to me has completely killed any desire to have children.

    You all dont have to agree with how i feel but respect the fact that i am being honest.

    no i am not thrilled about this situation.

    Childbirth provides a chance to experience the beauty of life

    There is nothing beautiful about this.

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