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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    2

    Default Wanting to Take Father's Rights Away

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Alabama

    I have an 8 month old baby. The father is not listed on the birth certificate. There are no court orders. He does not pay child support. He has however given me a total of 2 small packs of diapers and 3 boxes of diapers, plus $20 one time and put $10 worth of gas in my car 1 time in the whole time the baby had been born. He was in prison when she was born and before that was in drug and alcohol rehab. He was gone my entire pregnancy and was not released from prison until she was a little over a month old. For the past 5 months I have been letting him and his girlfriend get her on the weekends. I feel as though she is not being properly looked after when she is with them. She comes home with bad diaper rashes and sometimes fevers and they say they know nothing of it. Her father thinks that because he knows has everything for her, besides formula, at his house that he does not have to help me out with any kind of support. I am waiting on a court date for child support court, where they will have to prove his paternity since he is not on the BC. I also am not completely sure that he is 100% sober. Would it be right of me to not allow him to see her anymore until the courts say I have to let him? I am not trying to be rude towards him, but he does things that make me mad. He can not communicate with me at all and every time I bring anything up he just gets mad and calls me immature and/or hangs up on me. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Toledo, OH
    Posts
    16,087

    Default Re: Wanting to Take Father's Rights Away

    Would it be right of me to not allow him to see her anymore until the courts say I have to let him?
    Unless and until paternity is legally established - at this point through DNA testing via the courts - he does not have a child. He has neither rights NOR responsibilities until he is legally established as the child's father.

    Not only are you not required to allow him to see the child, you really shouldn't until the court orders for custody/visitation are in place.

    I am not trying to be rude towards him, but he does things that make me mad. He can not communicate with me at all and every time I bring anything up he just gets mad and calls me immature and/or hangs up on me.
    Once paternity, custody, and visitation are established, you two need to consider mediation. You're going to be co-parenting for the next 18 years, and the only way to accomplish that effectively is for you to both get over yourselves and your issues, and get with the program of putting your child first.
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Wanting to Take Father's Rights Away

    Thank you for your reply. So if I choose to not allow him to see her anymore until the courts say so, they will not look poorly on me for doing so?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    588

    Default Re: Wanting to Take Father's Rights Away

    Not letting dad see baby at all WILL look bad in court for you, and is not a good idea!

    I'm not saying this is a good idea or a bad idea morally, but if you don't want dad to have any rights to baby. then don't file for child support. If you don't, and dad doesn't take any action either to establish his paternity, then baby does not legally have a father. Dad would then have no rights to see baby, but he wouldn't have any responsibilities either. You can't have one without the other.

    However, if dad does pursue time with baby, he will get it. But the ball would be in his court to do so, and the idea of paying child support might deter him from that. Only you could guess what he would do.

    Also, if you get state assistance, expect the state to require you to name daddy and get a child support order (likely resulting in dad getting time with baby), whether you want to or not.

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