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  1. #1
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    Mar 2012
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    Default Does Having Sex with a Minor Make Someone an Unfit Parent

    My question involves guardianship in the State of: Virginia.

    I'm currently a little under ten weeks pregnant. The father of my child, who I was with for a year before he got me pregnant, and I broke up in mid-February. I contacted him a week after we officially ended things, because I made it clear that I wanted to move on, and told him I believed I was pregnant. He told me that he wanted to help with the baby and that we didn't have to do be together. Well, he then told me that he's been having sexual intercourse with a minor. He already has two misdemeanor charges for breaking into a store. With his charges he has 2 years suspended jail time so if he gets in trouble for anything else he automatically has to serve two years.
    Is the fact that he's sleeping with a minor, which I have proof of in multiple text messages, enough for me to make it so that he cannot have rights to my kid? I've talked to a few people about this before and some people asked if I was jealous of his new "relationship". That's not what it is at all. I just want my kid to have a good life. If he's comfortable sleeping with a child, who's to say he won't try to hurt his own? Should I contact the girl's parents and have them testify as well? I know that they do not know that he's sleeping with their minor daughter but I know for sure that they'd believe me and the text messages if I brought it to their attention. I just really want to make sure he can't do what he's doing to her to my child.
    In addition, I have proof that he's an alcoholic, avid pot smoker, and habitual liar. I also have the ability to file assault charges against him for hitting me in January. Any help and suggestions that can be provided with this is truly appreciated.

  2. #2
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    Sep 2010
    Location
    Oklahoma
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    695

    Default Re: Does Having Sex with a Minor Make Someone an Unfit Parent

    You can provide the evidence that you have to the police who will then investigate. Text messages alone will not be enough to convict a person of sexual contact with a minor. (Hey, I lied I was just bragging to sound cool!) You can contact the parents of the minor but cannot compel their testimony, only the courts can do that.

    The real issue is whether he will have access to his child. The answer is...maybe. Being sex offender does not automatically eliminate him from contact with his children. The courts may allow for supervised or unsupervised visits depending on how the sides are argued in court.

  3. #3
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    Mar 2012
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    Default Re: Does Having Sex with a Minor Make Someone an Unfit Parent

    Well, the way I got him to admit it was by lying. So, he cannot claim that he was trying to sound cool. He tried to say that he wasn't having sex with her because he knew I'd use it against him when he takes me to court for visitation and custody rights. So, I responded with, "That's not what she's been telling people" (even though I've never heard anything about her having sex with him) and then he replied with, "Okay. So we have had sex a few times. But she's only been with like four other guys so she's not a bad person for doing it."
    Would that be allowed as enough proof then?
    Thank you for all the information you've provided thus far. I truly do appreciate it.

  4. #4
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    Sep 2010
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    Oklahoma
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    Default Re: Does Having Sex with a Minor Make Someone an Unfit Parent

    The statements of one party alone are not going to be enough to convict the person. He can still claim he was lying.

    You must be careful in a family court case on custody too. The judge won't allow you to bring up his sex life and if you state in court that he is having sex with a minor (a crime) and he has not been convicted of it, you can find yourself subject to a defamation suit. Tell the girls parents what you suspect and let the courts hash it out. Just because he may be having sexual intercourse with a minor doesn't automatically endanger your child.

  5. #5
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    Mar 2012
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    Default Re: Does Having Sex with a Minor Make Someone an Unfit Parent

    Sounds good. Thank you for all your help. It really is appreciated.

  6. #6
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    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    Default Re: Does Having Sex with a Minor Make Someone an Unfit Parent

    And despite all of this, you picked him to father your child?

    The court will agree with your decision, right up until he's proven unfit - legally unfit.

    So let's get down to the nitty gritty. How old is HE, and how old is this underage girl? Is this the same girl you're talking about threatening, elsewhere?
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  7. #7
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    Mar 2012
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    Default Re: Does Having Sex with a Minor Make Someone an Unfit Parent

    Quote Quoting antrc170
    View Post
    The statements of one party alone are not going to be enough to convict the person. He can still claim he was lying.

    You must be careful in a family court case on custody too. The judge won't allow you to bring up his sex life and if you state in court that he is having sex with a minor (a crime) and he has not been convicted of it, you can find yourself subject to a defamation suit. Tell the girls parents what you suspect and let the courts hash it out. Just because he may be having sexual intercourse with a minor doesn't automatically endanger your child.
    antrc170: I want to post to update you on the situation. The father of my child contacted me last night. He told me that the girls mother told her that she had the option of moving six hours away or she was sending him to jail for having sex with her daughter. . .
    Today, I got news that the girl moved out of her mother's house to live with her biological father who is completely okay with her dating the father of my child. The mother, on the other hand, is out for blood. She asked me questions about whether he was still on probation, which he no longer is, but I did let her know that he was his 2 years suspended sentence. On Monday, she's taking evidence that they have contact to someone at juvenile court to have a restraining order created since she's the legal guardian and look into getting him put in jail for statutory rape. In addition, because I answered her questions about his suspended sentences and what I knew about his criminal background, she promised that her and her family would testify for me in court if the father of my child attempted to get custody.
    Thank you for answering all of my questions and I'll continue to update.

  8. #8
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    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    Default Re: Does Having Sex with a Minor Make Someone an Unfit Parent

    You're being fed a line of absolute horse manure.

    Either that, or we are.

    Because that's just not how it works.

    (For one thing, their testimony matters not one iota when it comes to YOUR custody matter.)

    Someone somewhere isn't telling someone the truth.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

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