Guardianship of an Elderly Parent

[gharri]

I live in NY state. My mom is 74 yrs old and seems to be experiencing some dementia. She began "loosing" it when my brother passed away in 2003. I've invited her to stay with me in my home and since Aug 1 of this year she was living with me but she never stays here. I am in the process of getting her an apt of her own in a senior developement due to the fact that she doesn't think my husband and I want her with us. I am at my wits end trying to figure out what to do. There are other circumstances that I feel require me to take guardianship of her. I know there is a fee to process this in court one I really can't afford. Please advise. Thank you. PS I have an older bro and younger sister who agree.

[Clair Bonner]

I live in NY state. My mom is 74 yrs old and seems to be experiencing some dementia. She began "loosing" it when my brother passed away in 2003. I've invited her to stay with me in my home and since Aug 1 of this year she was living with me but she never stays here. I am in the process of getting her an apt of her own in a senior developement due to the fact that she doesn't think my husband and I want her with us. I am at my wits end trying to figure out what to do. There are other circumstances that I feel require me to take guardianship of her. I know there is a fee to process this in court one I really can't afford. Please advise. Thank you. PS I have an older bro and younger sister who agree.

Please be specific with a question. Also, you take "guardianship" of a child, and you take a "conservatorship" over an adult.

[aaron]

That depends on state law - it's really a matter of definition. Here in Michigan, for example, you can most certainly become the guardian of an adult.

[gharri]

Mother is 74 yrs old. Whether I need "guardianship" or "conservator", I need to know what to do. What is my first step, second etc. I live in NY, and I have an older bro with Parkinsons and a younger sister who is a single parent. This would make me the person to take care of her. I have filled out applications for senior housing and I'm in the process of filling out paperwork to oversee her government pension. My mom is a very independent woman who will NOT hand over her "life" to me without a fight. What do I do?

[aaron]

Do you have any medical evidence to back up your impressions, such as the opinion of her doctor? If she is determined to be of sound mind, she is entitled to manage her own affairs. You should be able to get standard forms to petition for a guardianship at the county courthouse - they would be filed in the county where your mother presently resides.

[gharri]

Do you have any medical evidence to back up your impressions, such as the opinion of her doctor? If she is determined to be of sound mind, she is entitled to manage her own affairs. You should be able to get standard forms to petition for a guardianship at the county courthouse - they would be filed in the county where your mother presently resides.

Her nurse practitioner says she has noticed she is becoming more and more forgetful. I don't know who her doctor is. Do I petition for guardianship or conservatorship? I am not quite sure of my moms legal address currently she stays with my sister more than anywhere else which is Manhattan NY. I know she isn't of sound mind, she goes to her bank and withdraws money every other day. She recently went thru $2200.00 in a month. I am currently holding a pension check of hers which was a replacement check due to the fact she gave personnel the wrong address to send it to. (The check has not been cashed and I haven't told her about it) She is entitled to 3 or 4 more checks.

[deadlock]

gharri,

You have not answered the question about what your mom is doing that makes you think that she needs a guardian. You will need to address this whether you retain an attorney or not.

This website is for NY.
http://aging.state.ny.us/links/links04.htm

The state groups counties into several Area Agencies on Aging. They have many resources and should be able to give you some direction.

You are addressing a problem that children face and it isn't easy. You will need support and I encourage you to get as much information as possible before you begin to take over your mother's affairs. If you try to present a poorly organized case to the court, guardian ad litem may be appointed and you may lose any chance of being supportive to your mother.

Good luck. You're not alone.

[rmet4nzkx]

Then find out who her doctor is by asking her nurse practitioner, who her doctor is, perhaps she needs direct deposit? You can become her representitive payee by having her doctor writing a letter to SSA and open an account for that purpose, but she must have a certain amount of spending money per month.

[BlondiePB]

That depends on state law - it's really a matter of definition. Here in Michigan, for example, you can most certainly become the guardian of an adult.

And, some states use both guardian and conservator. For example, conservator of an estate in some states are not persons but a company/corporation, such as a bank and cannot be guardian of a person. In the same state, a guardian of an estate is an individual.

[BlondiePB]

Mother is 74 yrs old. Whether I need "guardianship" or "conservator", I need to know what to do. What is my first step, second etc. I live in NY, and I have an older bro with Parkinsons and a younger sister who is a single parent. This would make me the person to take care of her. I have filled out applications for senior housing and I'm in the process of filling out paperwork to oversee her government pension. My mom is a very independent woman who will NOT hand over her "life" to me without a fight. What do I do?

Your first step is to have your mother's competency evaluated. This will be done via court appointed committee once you petition for guardianship. Consult an attorney that specializes in guardianships. You'll find them under Elder Law & Probate.