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  1. #1
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    Default My Roommate Gave Me Permission to Punch Her, So I Did. Can She Press Charges

    My roommate gave me permission to punch her, so I did. Can she press charges?
    After a heated argument, I told my roommate that I needed to walk away and cool off because I feared I might hit her. I tried to go to my room and do that, but she followed me, and continued to pound on my door and yell at me for about fifteen minutes. I warned her multiple times again that she needed to back off for a minute. Realizing she was not going to leave me alone, I opened the door and told her again that she needed to back off or I might hit her. She then told to just hit her, so I did.

    Even though she gave me her permission, and I warned her multiple times and tried to walk away, can she still press charges? My other roommate did not hear her give me permission, but she did hear me warn her multiple times. The roommate I hit admitted that she gave me permission in front of my other roommates.

    I know that it was ultimately my fault because I was the one who raised my fist, but I really did try to separate myself so that nothing would happen.

    Also, the roommate I punched was not on the lease, and we were in the process of kicking her out soon anyway, so if she did press charges, could domestic abuse be one of them since she was technically living with us?

    She has not said anything about pressing charges, but I think that is because she is still living with us, so I fear she might try to once she moves out.

    Once again, I really did try to control myself and deeply regret it. I'm not a violent person, and this is the first time I have ever thrown a fist at anyone. I really did not hit her that hard, and there are no visible bruises or anything, and she seems fine.

    Please help.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: My Roommate Gave Me Permission to Punch Her, So I Did. Can She Press Charges

    If she asked you to murder her, and you did it, do you think you'd be able to get away with it?

    Same principle applies.

    Depending on where you're located, yes, you can face charges.
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  3. #3
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    Default Re: My Roommate Gave Me Permission to Punch Her, So I Did. Can She Press Charges

    I'm in California.

    What kind of charges could I potentially be facing?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: My Roommate Gave Me Permission to Punch Her, So I Did. Can She Press Charges

    Assault and battery, for starters.

    Seriously, dude, what were you thinking?
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  5. #5
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    Default Re: My Roommate Gave Me Permission to Punch Her, So I Did. Can She Press Charges

    If she did not require medical attention, and she truly asked you to hit her, then it is not battery (PC 242 - a misdemeanor). However, I'm gonna guess that she denies giving you permission, or admits to saying it but doing so rhetorically. "Yeah, I said he should go ahead and punch me in the nose, but I didn't think he'd really do it!"

    Oh, and if this "roommate" is a roomie with benefits (i.e. a dating-like relationship) then this could also be domestic violence per PC 243(e).

    If this is a first offense, chances are probation, fines, and anger management would be the likely penalties for a guilty plea.
    A Nor Cal Cop Sergeant

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  6. #6
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    Default Re: My Roommate Gave Me Permission to Punch Her, So I Did. Can She Press Charges

    She fully and seriously admitted to giving me permission in front of my other roommates. She said she wanted me to hit her so that it would "help me calm down." When we had a meeting the next day, she explicitly expressed this in front of me and my roommates. She has never said that she did not think I would actually do it.

    Also, no there was no romantic relationship. We were just living together.

    We're both girls. I'm 19 and she's 30. I also have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, if that makes a difference. I have already contacted my therapist, and we will be working on techniques to better manage my anger.

    Quote Quoting LawResearcherMissy
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    Assault and battery, for starters.

    Seriously, dude, what were you thinking?

    Well, I obviously was not in my right mind. And I'm not a dude. I'm a 19 year old woman.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: My Roommate Gave Me Permission to Punch Her, So I Did. Can She Press Charges

    Quote Quoting tmitch
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    She fully and seriously admitted to giving me permission in front of my other roommates.

    She said she wanted me to hit her so that it would "help me calm down." When we had a meeting the next day, she explicitly expressed this in front of me and my roommates. She has never said that she did not think I would actually do it.
    Battery requires that the assault be unwanted. I strongly suspect that she was not a thrillseeker genuinely asking to be punched because she loves how it feels as the pain subsides. A prosecutor will make the case that the request was rhetorical: "You wanna hit me? Okay, punch me! Give it your best shot!"

    If it's the only defense argument you have, well, you can certainly try to make it, but I don't see it getting too much traction. I doubt your attorney will be able to make the case that she actually wanted to be hit.

    We're both girls. I'm 19 and she's 30. I also have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, if that makes a difference. I have already contacted my therapist, and we will be working on techniques to better manage my anger.
    Your bipolar disorder will not make any difference unless it is to show that you have a propensity towards violence.

    In theory, PC 242 holds a potential for 6 months of jail time and a fine of up to $1,000. In reality, a lesser fine, fees, and probation (and the aforementioned counseling) are most common on a first offense.
    A Nor Cal Cop Sergeant

    "Make mine a double mocha ...
    And a croissant!"


    Seek justice,
    Love mercy,
    Walk humbly with your God

    -- Courageous, by Casting Crowns

  8. #8
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    Default Re: My Roommate Gave Me Permission to Punch Her, So I Did. Can She Press Charges

    Quote Quoting cdwjava
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    Battery requires that the assault be unwanted. I strongly suspect that she was not a thrillseeker genuinely asking to be punched because she loves how it feels as the pain subsides. A prosecutor will make the case that the request was rhetorical: "You wanna hit me? Okay, punch me! Give it your best shot!"

    If it's the only defense argument you have, well, you can certainly try to make it, but I don't see it getting too much traction. I doubt your attorney will be able to make the case that she actually wanted to be hit.


    Your bipolar disorder will not make any difference unless it is to show that you have a propensity towards violence.

    In theory, PC 242 holds a potential for 6 months of jail time and a fine of up to $1,000. In reality, a lesser fine, fees, and probation (and the aforementioned counseling) are most common on a first offense.
    Okay. Thank you. You have been very helpful.

    One more question, if I could provide evidence, like an audio or video clip, of her saying that she gave me permission, could that aid me in any way?

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