Father Will Not Pay Work or Pay Child Support; Owns Real Estate

[cooperville]

My question involves child support in the State of: Georgia

In considering my problem I believe it involves several issues of law, I have quite a mess. My ex-husband and I have been divorced since 2006. I remarried in 2007Ex-husband has always relied on his parents to handle all his business affairs, but in 2010 both of his parents passed away very suddenly and within days of each other, leaving a 48-year-old man unable and unwilling to handle his own affairs. He was named executor on his parent's will, and was an only child so the will was very simple but my son (who is also an only child) was not named as an heir; in retrospect I believe Ma & Pa were too sick to think about providing for their grandson. We had always had a cooperative co-parenting relationship and when he asked me to help him settle the estate I agreed. I did everything except record the transfer deeds, which he was supposed to have done but has not.

After his parents died the ex just fell apart, got laid off his job, has not worked since and has made no effort towards finding work. He paid support sporadically until the money ran out and has stayed current on his child support only because we agreed to trade a car from the estate in return for 14 months of child support. When he ran out of things to sell from the estate his utilities were cut off and he lived for several months with no power, water, or phone. I convinced him to see a doctor for his depression and I suspect, bipolar disorder, and the doctor put him on medication which he took for a short time and stopped. In short, his mental status has always been iffy, and he can be very unstable at times, has admitted to the doctor and to other people suicidal and homicidal ideation, especially towards me the ex-wife. He has point blank told me that he can not and will not pay his child support because "you can't get blood out of a turnip" and "he's not going to give me money to go out and run the roads." I relied on the support money for groceries and school expenses. However, he does own property, one house that he bought himself and is paid for and another 10 acres with 2 houses on it that he inherited. I have proposed to him several alternatives to child support such as placing the inherited property in a trust for his son, a life estate to me with himself and his son as remaindermen, payment of support by yearly promissory notes on a portion of the property so that I could have ownership of one of the homes to rent out to generate income for support, all of which he initially agreed to and then backed out. He sees all of this negotiation as a ploy for me take away his property.

He has had very little interaction with his son since his parents died, so he is in contempt of all actions named in the divorce decree. In November he left the county, abandonded his property and his son, moved in with some friends, and has left the property for me to look after. He is hiding from a bench warrant for failure to appear on a charge of DUI of prescription medication. This most likely would have been dismissed because his blood test showed he was not intoxicated or over the prescribed limit of medication. He also had a good lawyer who agreed to represent him pro bono because he was friends with the lawyer's father, but he just didn't show up for court.

I made an appointment with Child Support Enforcement; they told me that since he was not working all they could do was incarcerate him but they could only keep him a short time and would have to release him whether he paid or not, and still I would not get any support. Given his signs of instability, most likely when they let him out of jail I would be in danger.

I have also made several attempts to contact my lawyer to file a contempt order on the ex, he has yet to return my call.

He has abandonded his 9-year-old son, abandonded his property, states that he would "kill me dead before he let me get my hands on it," has not paid taxes and yet expects me to maintain and look after a total of 12 acres, and I do so because it means a great deal to my son. And, if the man is just going to throw the property away by neglect I would very much like to have it and could use it to generate income for my son and keep it intact so my son could inherit it, but the ex will not negotiate.

My son is growing up and is beginning to understand what is really going on despite my efforts to put his father's actions in a positive light. It appears that my options are pretty bleak: Put the ex in jail and then explain to the boy why and then have to worry about what he is going to do when he gets out, or keep putting up with the ex's bully tactics, or walk away and forget about all of t which I really, really don't want to do because after all this drama it is looking like I am needing a good divorce lawyer and somewhere for my son and I to live in peace.

Isn't there anything I can do considering the fact that I have paid utilities, maintained the property, am owed child support, and desperately need a place for my son and I to live? When the ex left his home he left the back door to his house wide open, abandonded his clothes and personal items, left bills unpaid, and even left his property deeds and other important papers behind. Most importantly, he has abandonded his son whom, as I learned from this website, is showing the symptoms of parental alientation. The boy is underachieving in school, shows very little interest in anything, cannot watch a movie about kids and dads without leaving the room to hide his crying, and it just breaks my heart. My current husband has gone many extra miles to help get this straightened out but is quite understandably sick of the situation becoming angry and it has put a strain on our marriage that I'm not sure can be fixed.

Thank you so much for any advice or encouragement that anyone could provide.

[Riply]

......but my son (who is also an only child) was not named as an heir; .....

In Georgia, where a will is involved, a grandchild has no expectation of being an heir, when there is a surviving child of the deceased and the grandchild is not specifically designated as an heir to the estate.

If there is NO will, then the intestacy laws prevail, which still would exclude a grandchild unless there are no surviving children of the deceased.

Your second paragraph (quite lengthy, but detailed) indicates that you are trying to re-negotiate a Court Order. You do not have the authority to usurp the Court's Order concerning child support. Trading property (real or personal) in consideration of "waiving" child support is not permitted unless the Court modifies its Order. That would require the filing of a Motion to Modify Child Support with the appropriate Court.

Modifying the Order by agreement of the parties does not negate the original Order without acceptance by the trial Judge. That means that even if you accomplish what you hope to (property in Trust, etc), the Order stands, and he still owes the child support that has gone unpaid.

Having read everything else you're presenting here, you seem to be digging yourself into a pit that you cannot control. The property is HIS (the ex's), not yours, and not your son's. Regardless of your good intentions in trying to compel the ex to take action that would protect you and/or your son, you have no legal standing. However insane and unreasonable the ex may be in not doing "the right thing" for his child, it is his choice to do so, unless he is deemed to be unable to manage his own affairs and becomes a Ward of a Conservatorship.

I assure you, at some point, this rug is going to be pulled out from under you.

Your only option here is to file a Motion for Contemp and let the Court direct what can and cannot be "seized and converted" to benefit the child, if anything. If you continue involving yourself in managing his affairs contrary to his true wishes, you are encroaching on his legal rights without authority.

[cooperville]

I thank you so much for your answer, the first unobjective, clear answer I have heard and it really helped clarify my perspective. I have been struggling with the right and wrong of this situation and my actions towards it but I do agree, a Motion for Contempt to let the court decide is my only option. You also stated "contrary to his TRUE wishes;" you must have grasped the fact that what comes out of his mouth is not necessarily what he wants, because not only does he ask, he seems to expect me to manage his affairs, but does not want to compensate for it. Considering his obvious contempt of the Court Order and his outright refusal to seek employment, would it be presumptuous to ask your opinion as to the outcome of a hearing?

[Riply]

Only the Court knows what it would decide after hearing the facts of the case.

You obviously could present to the Court that you would be willing to give the Ex credit for the 14 months child support in exchange for the car he gave you. That would only be fair.

You could also present any suggestions that what you're hoping the ex would do regarding putting property in trust for the child would satisfy any future claims for support, given the fact that the ex is unstable and refuses to work. If the Court Orders that, fine. Not sure it would, but you never know.

[cooperville]

I would definitely give credit for the 14 months exchange because I only want what is right and fair. How could I be sure that presenting my suggestions to the Court would not be construed as "telling them how to do their job?" Whatever the Court decides, I will gladly accept but I cannot live with doing nothing and letting the ex bully me any longer. Again, Thank you.

[Riply]

Most Judges (in my experience with many in Georgia) look for "solutions" to insurmountable problems, especially in the Family Courts.

Child Support Enforcement laws in Georgia are in a state of evolution right now. The incarceration aspect for non-payment is being challenged as counter-productive, because an obligor cannot pay child support if they are in jail and cannot work. Further, it is being proposed that the CS only falls further in arrears if the obligor is incarcerated.

The license suspension aspect is also on the chopping block, as revocation of the driving privileges cripples the obligor's ability, in many cases, to pursue employment and honor the Order.

The premise behind these proposed changes is that there should be a difference between the obligor who CAN pay and refuses to versus the obligor who CANNOT pay because of economic and financial considerations.

In some very abherrent situations, when there is little to no liklihood that the obligor would be in a position to earn wages to satisfy the CS obligation, the Court sometimes is open to satisfaction of the Order "in kind". Occasionally, that may be conversion of property (both real and personal) of the obligor to the value of the arrears or ongoing support.

That's not something that's done very often, but it isn't unheard of.

[cooperville]

Awesome. There is a shred of hope!. Thanks.

[Riply]

Just remember, the law itself doesn't provide for conversion of tangible assets to satisfy CS, except where a judgment has been entered for arrears (collectable through a fi.fa.). I'm just saying that some Courts will allow it, IF both parties agree that it's the only other viable solution.

So, in your case, if there IS a thread of hope, be sure to bring your magnifying glass.

[cooperville]

UPDATE TO THIS THREAD: I had a consultation with the attorney I hired in 2010 for a child support modification and this action is in progress. However, the ex is hiding from a bench warrant and cannot be served with any papers until he is found. My attorney tells me it is his opinion that the Court would likely award me the property based on his noncomplicance with visitation more so than nonpayment. Now my current husband has gone on another one of his rampages and once again thrown my 9-year-old son and I out of the house to fend for ourselves and is picking and choosing what personal property he will allow us to have. So, I am now living at my MIA ex-husband's property. We have been bounced back and forth like this for a couple of years now. I need a good divorce lawyer that is familiar with the politics of Chattooga County because I was not fairly treated on the first divorce action, details of which I can provide if needed. I apologize for the double post but thought was necessary so that one could cross reference to better understand my situation. Thank you all so much for your time.