Helping Families to Keep Their Elders in the Home

[ML12]

My family lives in a house with my grandparents, 2 uncles, mom, and me. My mom has been legally taking care of my grandparents through social services for the past couple of years. For the first year, everything seemed fine. Only in the past 6 months, have things really gone down hill. My grandparents house is going into foreclosure as they haven't been able to keep mortgage payments (due to illegal refinance from the bank, you know the deal). Since that time, the house has gone into some disrepair as they are going to lose it. It isn't perfect, but my 90 year old grandparents have been living their since the early 50's. Since the house doesn't look perfect and the state has decided that because it isn't perfect, they can investigate my mom for neglect of my grandparents. My mom makes sure that they are well fed, takes their meds, get around the house and my grandma takes charge of the check book since my grandpa doesn't like to deal with money and has some dementia. Still they want to investigate my mom for anything they could possibly associate with neglect. My grandparents have been going through mediation with their foreclosure lawyer but it isn't going fast enough for the social services. If social services decides that my grandparents are incompetent, they could take them away to a miserable nursing home. Then they wouldn't be able to afford to live in a place that the state approves of because they'll have lost their case by moving out. To make matters worse, my mom could be charged with neglect or something. I want to protect my mom and my grandparents. Do you have any advice to give that could help keep my grandparents in our care and not the state's? Any advice on how to protect my mom from this stupidity? I'm at my wits end with this stuff.

[Mr. Knowitall]

If the house is in foreclosure, somebody needs to take steps to ensure that your grandparents have a place to live. If your mother cannot, and nobody else is willing to step in, there's no real choice but a professional care facility.

If mom isn't neglecting your grandparents, odds are that's what an investigation will show. If she's worried, she should discuss the full facts with a lawyer.