Non-Verbal Learning Disability and ADHD Issues at Work

**neacow** · 01-06-2012, 08:34 PM

My question involves labor and employment law for the state of: Massachusetts

I admit right up front, I have stuff going on that makes personal interactions difficult at times. I have Nonverbal Learning Disorder and ADHD. So basically, I'm like a sledgehammer but I work really hard to curb it, and over the years I've developed a sharp wit that helps a lot.

So it's easy to see where I can be not very smooth at times at work. And I'm working on it. I cop to that.

But...my manager has a serious issue with me and has from the start. Under the previous manager things were never this stressed. See, she's very smiley and in control so she can't imagine that I am unable to read between the lines, or figure out what she means when she doesn't say what she means. I also have a tendency to hyperfocus and she doesn't get that and thinks I'm just behaving badly. She assumes my behavior comes from a negative, bad place when it's not at all, it is just how I function and how I am wired. I make myself sound worse than I am, I am excellent at customer service skills and at my job, but I'm impatient, bossy in tone and I want to tell you there are a lot of my colleagues who come to me and are continuously redirected to management or team leader - that is because they know I know the right answer. But giving them right answers amounts to stepping on toes. The politics are hard for me to remember when I'm trying to focus on being helpful and getting to the end of the goal.

I should also say there is not one employee that I work with with whom I do not get along. So that's important.

So the new boss comes in and she immediately dislikes me. Don't have to be a rocket scientist to see that. I'm not like her and that is bad. But I've always tried to bend over backwards to help her.

I recall when she was a Team Leader she emailed me to do something that was completely outside of my department and scope, and when I tried to explain that to her she blew up. I had to bring the manager in to explain it to her, then she was like I'm sorry. We had several incidents like this where I tried to express myself, Melissa became angry, someone else explained my position to her, and she backed down, realizing her error. I'm on her side, but she can't just say hey, you go fix something wrong with the filing system - because that is not my job, and it is the job of several people who would wonder what gives me the right to barge in and take over their work. She doesn't see the big picture.

So the manager left and this one got promoted. I knew I was doomed but I drank heavily and committed myself to helping her and supporting her in any way I could. But she would never let me. I know my job and I know how to do it, and I know how to find answers. This apparently pisses her off. When I have tried to shoot her an email or let her know something that will save her a lot of trouble, she dismisses it. She treats me like my input is of no value. She'd rather work harder than learn from those of us who know stuff.

Now she has a new team leader under her who, for lack of a better way to explain it, is her "bitch." Now, I'd become pretty good at behaving and avoiding her. I was actually interviewed for and rec'd a promotion that is supposed to take effect first quarter 2012 along with a substantial raise in pay. She approved that promotion/raise. She even sent a companywide email announcing it was upcoming. I have tons of congratulations emails.

She just recently started after me again, esp since the new team leader arrived. Now every email I send is wrong, every interaction I have is bad, everything I say or do it bad again.

What happened that really upset me was I have two coworkers who fight all the time. I was in the kitchen with one coworker who threatened she'd hurt the other one, and she was seirous. Crying, everything. I reported it. A few days later the new Tea Leader told me I should not have "inserted myself" into that situation (?!) and that if I did not mind my own business I would lose my promotion. Huh? What?

I went to Hr. I complained. These two bosses keep on pushing me further and further. They just don't let me exist, and they certainly don't appreciate the amt of work and the kind of resource I am, she's so stupid she doesn't realize I'm there every day trying to help make her and all of us look good! - and now, on top of everything else, I got a lousy review that also begins a performance improvement plan. The only performance problems that they ultimately have are things about my personality that ultimately Iv'e had to disclose to HR anyway and ask for accommodation just to protect myself when I saw how she was going to be.

She will take one thing that happened one time and in writing she expressed it's an ongoing thing, or that I have a pattern. This cannot be supported, it's a lie. She has a few weird incidents where I did something strange or uncomfortable and tries to say I always do this and I always do that. It is just not the case. I have bad days and momentary lapses. But nothing like the suggests.

So she hates me, and I see I am challenging I try my best to modify behavior but it's not easy. Nonverbal learning disorder is kind of like Aspergers, if that clarifies. It takes all my active mental strength to control it some days. I have disclosed this as I said to HR. I asked for accommodations and provided suggestions. They have not responded it's been a month and a half but meantime the boss as me on a PIP.

OK. Let's have it. What do you think?

**Mr. Knowitall** · 01-08-2012, 07:47 AM

Assuming the ADA applies to your workplace, what have you done to report and document your condition to your employer, what accommodation did you request, and what accommodation did your employer offer?

**neacow** · 01-08-2012, 08:44 AM

The ADA does apply to my workplace. I presented medical testing (Neuropsych) and also a letter from the state vocational rehab case worker stating I was disabled at a significant (high) level and was accepted for vocational rehab services. This, as I said, was in Nov after completing and doing my job successfully for a year. The accommodations I requested did not cost any money. They were things like writing (emailng) instructions rather than verbal, and also some more guidance on certain things like priorities. Nothing that costs a dime. Just things that would facilitate fewer misunderstandings.

Sorry forgot to state my employer has not replied to my request for accommodation which was presented verbally and in writing. They just said "we will look at it." But the HR head said it nicely.

That was the middle of November.