Does Custody Have to Be Established in Court to File for Child Support

[lovingmama3]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of:

[lovingmama3]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: VA

My child's father and I couldn't agree on child support so we have a support hearing coming up next week. Our daughter is 11 months old and she lives with me. I've given him unlimited access to her and to my home and he comes to see her about 4 times a week for 30 minutes. He's telling me that our case will be immediately thrown out since we don't have a court order for custody. However, isn't it true that I have full custody of her since we were never married? Can someone give me some advice on how this support hearing will go next week? Thanks!

[Dogmatique]

That's not true whatsoever. Dad seems to be a bit...confused.

There does not need to be court ordered custody/visitation in order for you to file for child support.

The hearing will set support per VA guidelines.

(Yes, you have custody by default if there are no court orders)

[lovingmama3]

Thank you for your quick response! You're very helpful.

[Mr. Knowitall]

No; custody and support can be determined at the same time.

Laws vary by state.

[lovingmama3]

I'm sorry, I accidental clicked post before I wrote anything. I created another thread, but your answer has me concerned.

We live in VA, my child's father and I were never married. We couldn't agree on child support so I filed for it and court is coming up. I'm under the impression that I have full custody by default, isn't that the case? So wouldn't the father have to file for custody/visitation if he wants it discussed? Or will it automatically be discussed at the child support hearing without him having to file for anything?

I'm sorry for all the questions. It's pretty confusing. Thanks for your help.

[flyingron]

He has to specifically ask for both custody and visitation. He can try bringing it up at a support hearing but the judge will most likely as that you try to work something out first. If not, you'll have to come back for another hearing.

[lovingmama3]

Well I don't think we'll be able to work anything out because he wants 50/50 only to lessen his child support so I don't think he'll negotiate very much. I hope the judge takes his motives into consideration.

[lovingmama3]

I went and found my old thread since I know we're not supposed to start new ones.

At this point, my daughter is now 13 months old. Child support (along with paternity) is and has been established but there's no court order for custody/visitation. She lives with me and always has. Her father comes to my house to visit her 3x a week, on average, for 20-30 minutes at a time. I just have a few questions since things are still pretty ugly.

What are his chances of obtaining a 50/50 time split at this point? He's still "threatening" me with it because he doesn't like paying child support. He's living in a 2 bedroom apartment with a male roommate and his girlfriend (most of the time), and on my first day of work, he came over to visit her while I was gone, he put her on the couch and was paying attention to his phone and she fell and broke her leg I'm really not comfortable at this point with him taking her at this point. He has no idea how to take care of her because he doesn't really want to try.

Also, I asked him to pay for her cast. He went off cussing at me, telling me that he hates me and that I make him sick. He told me I'm a terrible mother. I don't see mediation being effective in our case but I'm pretty worried that a judge is going to order the 50/50 time split. I can't really afford a lawyer. Can this conversation be used in court? It was via text message.

Any and all help is greatly appreciated!