Men Should Not Have to Pay Child Support

[diskjockee]

I think men should not have to pay child support if he can prove that their separation is not his fault and the women still wants custody of the child. I guaranteed you that if this is true a lot of women who are in the wrong would rethink custody.

I thought of this because if I lose the custody of my daughter to my ex I will have to pay her child support in the end I am supporting her drug habit. Which is the reason why I am leaving her. I want my child with me but I live in Wisconsin and word is that men don't get awarded anything much here.

[Mr. Knowitall]

Child support is exactly that child support. It's to support the child, not to punish your ex- for breaking your heart.

[aardvarc]

I want my child with me but I live in Wisconsin and word is that men don't get awarded anything much here.

The parent who usually ends up with custody is the parent who is the primary caregiver; meaning, the parent who gets the kids up, changes diapers, gives them breakfast, gets them dressed, gets them to school, picks them up, helps with homework, fixes supper, does their laundry, cleans their rooms, takes them to practice, hands out the bandaids, makes Halloween costumes, gets the lid off the pickle jar, etc. etc.

If the father is the one in the household who does most of those things, the father has a terrific chance of being named custodial parent. It's NOT about gender, it's about keeping the routine of the children's lives stable, and that typically means that the parent with most daily interactions with the kids gets custody.

If there is some documentation of her drug habit, AND you can show the court that the habit poses some danger to the children, then even if she's the primary care giver, you have every chance of being awarded primary custody. If more men would listen to the advice they're given, and use attorneys to assist in their custody battles, more of them would end up with custody - because women DO listen to that advice on a much greater scale. But just like asking for directions, many men are too hard-headed or don't want to spend the money, and their outcomes are generally less favorable across the spectrum.

All WE can do is give the advice. We can't make 'em follow it, but we can reasonably guess at the outcomes when it's ignored.

[diskjockee]

I understand this Mr. Knowitall. I don't want to punish anyone. That's what my parents did. All I want is to support my child and if I pay child support to a drug addicted mother WHERE DO YOU THINK THE MONEY IS GOING? I would LOVE and not mind AT ALL to pay child support because it is my child IF I KNEW SHE WAS DRUG FREE!

And we did love each other and she did break my heart! she is such a loving person who care about her family until I lost her to drugs I can't even talk to her about it because she denies this being a problem. ANYONE WHO'S GOT ANY MEMBER IN THEIR FAMILY WITH ADDICTION KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT I WOULD LOVE TO BE BY HER SIDE THROUGH IT ALL but it's not going to happen. I never want to punish anyone! I STILL LOVE HER! she can't see the damages that she's doing

There's no documentation at all no one's ever pressed charges because she's either family or good friend. But she has stolen hundred's of dollars worth of goods and prescription drugs from them.

One thing I do watch my kid all the time because she's always sleeping or passed out but I work 3rd shift and that's the only time I leave my child with her and when I am sleeping other then that I changed diapers, watch her, and feed her.

[flyingron]

It doesn't matter how much non-tangible support (diaper changing, etc...) is given in most states. The custodial parent is entitled to support from the non-custodial parent to the amount determined by law. For example in Virginia, it's a pretty basic formula based on both parent's incomes and I can tell you while it helps, it does not even begin to defray the monetary or other costs of raising a child (I have two step children from my wife's first marriage).

[Mr. Knowitall]

If mom's unfit, get your act together, get custody, and you won't have to pay support.

[Dogmatique]

One thing I do watch my kid all the time because she's always sleeping or passed out but I work 3rd shift and that's the only time I leave my child with her and when I am sleeping other then that I changed diapers, watch her, and feed her.

So there's no proof of anything?

And you work while Mom stays home?

Mom is likely going to remain the primary caregiver. I doubt that Mom is "always" sleeping or passed out. After all, if she was, you would be endangering your child by leaving your child with Mom, right?