Emancipating a 19 Year Old

[lemontree209]

My question involves child support in the State of: new jersey

I have a child who was 19 in August. I have been paying child support for about 4 years. Knowing NJ does not automatically emanipate at 18, I waited until he was 18 1/2 to go to ask for it to end as he was making no effort to get a job or go to school. My child dropped out of High school and cannot keep a job. All of these are his own fault. I have had my child sign up to take the GED and its always one reason or another as to why he cant make it..at my expense. He cannot keep a job for one reason or another...either he doesnt show up or he doesnt do what is asked of him and he gets fired. He is constantly getting tickets for driving either without a seatbelt, on the cell phone, speeding and once for DUI but beat it in court. Needless to say, he now doesnt even bother to look for a job. He stays home playing video games all day....The judge did not grant my wish to emancipate because she said he was "floundering" and we would revisit in 6 months. Well 6 months and nothing has changed except the fact that I feel I am an enabeler! His biggest concern in life is how will he party with his friends...At what point does this become unfair to ME. I am not unfair. I would love for him to go get an education or a job he likes but there is no effort on his part at all. He calls me when a party or event is coming up to "ADVANCE HIM THE MONEY" so he can go out to dinner with his friends..and sometimes pays for everyone...what a fantasy and it is so completely unfair...


WHAT CAN I DO???????

[Dogmatique]

You're paying the other parent, correct?

[Lawrence084]

From my understanding of NJ Child Support is: When you filed when your son was 18 and a half, a form was suppose to be sent to his mother asking her in some way of another why should she keep recieiving child support. If she doesn't answer it is terminated. If she answers, there must be on some kind of line that her son will be attending school.

Now that your son 19 and has not finish HS and not planning to go to college I would see about having that form sent to her again and ask for a copy of it and go from there.

I can the courts making you wait until he 19 to give him a chance to go back to HS. But at this point it should be in the process to be closed.

I always thought if a Lawyer can save me X amount of months it would be worth the price to get one. For example. If you think it going to take you 6 more months on your own and your are paying $500/month. Getting a lawyer at $1500 to close it in 3 month or less is worth it.

just something to look in too....

[lemontree209]

No I have been paying him directly and he doesn't live with either parent and hasn't for at least 2 years

[Lawrence084]

Aren't you worried about arrears? If you are not paying the parent who filed, then you are not paying. You might be entitled to pay arrears for the past two years for nonpayment. What you give to your son is considered a "Gift" not a child support payment.

[Dogmatique]

Aren't you worried about arrears? If you are not paying the parent who filed, then you are not paying. You might be entitled to pay arrears for the past two years for nonpayment. What you give to your son is considered a "Gift" not a child support payment.

I would be VERY concerned about this too, Lawrence!

Unless the order specifically states that payments go to the child - which would be incredibly unusual - then absolutely, Dad is technically in arrears!

[Lawrence084]

And if you really think about it. You should be paying the mother anyways because she is not required to give your son a cent.

I probably play games all day too if I got a check to cover my expenses every month.