[jackiefromil]

Hello all! Just found this forum and very interesting! I live in Illinois. I do have a legal question and I am going to tell you upfront I am not looking for a counselor so no need to judge my decisions please.
I have been with my fiance' for a year. It has been crazy, when I met him he told me he was single and I believed that for 3 months. I then found out that he was married for 16 years and he then immediately got divorced. He moved out of his marital home and got his own place....so I thought just maybe he may be truthful from there on out...NOT. He has had many women since then and yes I am a sucker and forgave him. I also have forgiven him for hitting me...now I will tell you I have also hit him since he started abusing me. On May 3 he was arrested for battery...not real bad but I had some minor cuts and bruises. That charge is still not final.....kept getting continued. On July 9 we got into a fight and he beat me to a pulp, two black eyes, broken cheek bone, nerve damage to my face, bruises and a bad cut all over my body. Well here is the kicker..when I was in the hospital I found out that I was pregnant..had no idea...had not even missed my cycle. Well he was put into jail that day that he did that and his bond was 50,0000 and he had to pay 5,000 to get out and of course his ex-wife bailed him out! Grand Jury indicted him last week on a Felony Class two Aggrevated Domestic Violence. Of course I was confused...did get a order of protection the next day after the fight. I ended up contacting him during the order of protection and we started to mend things. What I am wondering now is: 1) is there anything I can do to help him? I will not lie...but both of us are going to counseling now. 2) if I dont work with the States Attorney what will happen? 3) Do you think he will serve Prison time...any chance of probation and community service?? 4) is the penalty for class 2 3-7years?? that seems to be what I found.
Any answers are appreciated...I just want to know what will be happening to the father of my child that is not even born yet. Again I am in Illinois.

[Happy Trails]

Hello all! Just found this forum and very interesting! I live in Illinois. I do have a legal question and I am going to tell you upfront I am not looking for a counselor so no need to judge my decisions please.
I have been with my fiance' for a year. It has been crazy, when I met him he told me he was single and I believed that for 3 months. I then found out that he was married for 16 years and he then immediately got divorced. He moved out of his marital home and got his own place....so I thought just maybe he may be truthful from there on out...NOT. He has had many women since then and yes I am a sucker and forgave him. I also have forgiven him for hitting me...now I will tell you I have also hit him since he started abusing me. On May 3 he was arrested for battery...not real bad but I had some minor cuts and bruises. That charge is still not final.....kept getting continued. On July 9 we got into a fight and he beat me to a pulp, two black eyes, broken cheek bone, nerve damage to my face, bruises and a bad cut all over my body. Well here is the kicker..when I was in the hospital I found out that I was pregnant..had no idea...had not even missed my cycle. Well he was put into jail that day that he did that and his bond was 50,0000 and he had to pay 5,000 to get out and of course his ex-wife bailed him out! Grand Jury indicted him last week on a Felony Class two Aggrevated Domestic Violence. Of course I was confused...did get a order of protection the next day after the fight. I ended up contacting him during the order of protection and we started to mend things. What I am wondering now is: 1) is there anything I can do to help him? I will not lie...but both of us are going to counseling now. 2) if I dont work with the States Attorney what will happen? 3) Do you think he will serve Prison time...any chance of probation and community service?? 4) is the penalty for class 2 3-7years?? that seems to be what I found.
Any answers are appreciated...I just want to know what will be happening to the father of my child that is not even born yet. Again I am in Illinois.

Many times the person abused will want to drop charges...

The courts have gotten more strict and will usually follow through with prosecution whether you cooperate or not.

It is in the hands of the prosecuting attorney now. No one can guess on what they will do, but I'm sure the evidence they have speaks for itself.

Class 2 felony is punishable up to a $25,000 fine and/or 3 to 7 Years in Pen.

[jackiefromil]

Thank you Happy Trails. There was a court date yesterday (Pre trial stuff)....they never asked me to be there...but when I got home there was a business card from a deputy asking me to call the States Attorney. I really dont understand why they want me to call i know they have my number. By me not cooperating with them do you think that may help him?? I know that he is going to have to pay for his crime..but by putting him in prison he will be leaving three kids without child support or health care which he provides for now.

[malford1]

This man has lied to you. This man has cheated on you. This man has beaten the hell out of you. I hope that the counseling that you are getting will increase your self esteem. No person in their right mind would try to continue in this type of relationship.

[j70141]

I know this reply is rather late, but I write it in hopes that it helps someone in the near future. For future people of D.A. abuse (District Attorney).

Domestic Violence is one of those laws that is sorta 'added' to other charges to enhance them, a little like 'hate laws'. It often just adds severity to another crime, such as 'harassment'. Harassment may not normally be considered Domestic Violence, but it can if it was done to someone you are living with.

The consequences of Domestic Violence follow you for the rest of your life. If you are in the military, you will be discharged because you are no longer EVER allowed to have a firearm. If you hunt, you best start trying to hunt using a bow and arrow. EXCEPT IN VERY VERY SEVERE CASES, I STRONGLY RECOMMEND THAT YOU DO "NOT" TAKE A PLEA BARGAIN.

The first thing that I wish to point out is that a D.A. cannot drop your case without good reason. It is possible that he may want to but needs the excuse. This may be the case if the case is 'stupid' such as 'he threw a glass of water on you' type of thing, or if he believes he has little or no case to begin with (a jury may not wish to prosecute a person for throwing a glass of water on you). If you believe that this is the case, you may provide him with the excuse. This could be done with a simple case of calling the D.A. up and telling him that you lied in your testimony and providing another story, it could be by telling him you just left the state and have no desire to come back and testify and ASK him to please just drop the case, and it could be by simply IGNORING the D.A. and not returning any of his calls (unreliable witness excuse). None of these are guaranteed to work if the D.A. is insistent in following through with your case.

In the line of preventive measures, in the future I very very strongly suggest that if the police are ever called out to a residence, you DO NOT INVITE THEM IN, and YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT and tell them you do not wish to answer any questions. If there are huge bruises and blood squirting from the face from a brutal beating, I still STRONGLY RECOMMEND these measures, even if you are the victim. In such a case, they will still make a police report, BUT you have MUCH MORE CONTROL over the situation. If you desire, you can always bring the police report with you in the future for a future case or to press charges in a future case, but if you testify at that very moment, you have given full authority to the D.A. and the police to continue with the testimony you have provided and you have LITTLE OR NO CONTROL about it in the future.

If the D.A. is insistent, then you should probably focus on the 'key formula'. Money. Prosecuting a case takes time and money, make it expensive and hard. Try to get a public defender or get the court to assign an attorney for you. The case changes dramatically when an attorney is involved (it gets you respect) especially if it is COSTING the state to provide that attorney. Costing the D.A. time and money will either cause him to want to give up, or just piss him off some more, it depends on his resolve in prosecuting the case, only you can decide.

Despite your best intentions, it is best if you DO NOT SHOW UP AT ALL NOR TALK TO THE D.A. AT ALL, NEVER EVER NEVER EVER. You husband is now in jail and the D.A. is getting ahold of you to invite you to the hearing. This is the point where the D.A. starts threatening YOU and serving YOU with all sorts of nasties. DO NOT ATTEND THE HEARING, DO NOT ANSWER THE PHONE. This is what they will do:

1. They will order you to cut off ALL contact with your husband from 24 to 72 hours. (This is their first phase, where they cut off communications to go in for the kill. They know if there is communication between you and your husband, there is more potential). They do this in the guise that they are just trying to protect you.
2. They will serve you your subpoena to force you to testify against your husband. (I recommend you just stay at home, don't answer the phone, and lock the door and don't answer it. If they cannot serve you, you cannot be forced to testify).
3. They will threaten you with contempt of court if you do not testify.
4. If children are involved, they may threaten you into filing a child abuse report, saying that if you do not file it, they will file one against you. They may threaten to take your kids away from you if you do not file it.

Stay at home, do not talk to the D.A., after the hearing, send a bondsman to bail your husband out.

Now, lets say you have already goofed up everything up to this point. You have talked to the D.A. and you are at the point where you are being forced to testify. It now depends on whose resolve is greater, the D.A.s or yours.

I will start by saying that I totally believe that the sanctity of marriage is a very solemn and holy and strong bond. Till death do us part, forever and always. The D.A.s attack against your husband is an attack against you and your family and you have an honor bound oath to stand by your husband regardless of the cost. But then again, you may feel differently about this for whatever reasons, again it depends totally on whose resolve is greater.

At your husband's trial, they WILL have an expert ready to testify against both your husband and YOU!!! The expert will go into the issues of Domestic Violence and how terrible it is and even testify that IF YOU DO NOT TESTIFY AGAINST YOUR HUSBAND it is because you are mentally deranged from the abuse environment.

There are a few things you can do to help your husband. You can get together and talk about what you will testify about. You can get 'memory problems' and forget a lot. One good thing would probably be to change your story a LOT and make it look like you have been lying to begin with, along with a good reason for the lying (such as he cheated on you). Do not show up to court looking nice, dress terribly. The thing you are doing here is you are making yourself out as an unreliable witness. You may wish to let it slip that you were puffing on a joint or drinking up a storm on that night, or about the last time you were arrested for filing a false police report. You may just wish to sit on the stand and SHUT UP, taking the 'contempt of court' charge for a while. One thing is sure, a 'contempt of court' charge is MUCH LESS SEVERE than a Domestic Violence charge.

Not calling the D.A. anymore, not returning his calls, may cause him to believe your are an unreliable witness and have him drop the case all together. One lady called an ambulance to her house on the day of the hearing and checked herself into the hospital for alleged 'panic attacks' (something difficult to prove or disprove with absolute certainty, which resembled that of a heart attack with chest pains). In this manner, she didn't show up and had an excuse in case the D.A. wished to continue.

In a large number of cases, the D.A. NEEDS YOUR TESTIMONY in order to prosecute and he well knows it. Your husband HAS A RIGHT to confront all witnesses, including you, and your not showing up could very much have the case thrown out.

btw, none of this is legal advice, some of it may be illegal. However, it DID come from people I have spoken to that have been in exactly the same situation. Depending on the severity of the case, the D.A. does not usually likie to persue forcing testimony from a victim. They do have the right, but there is a good chance that he will not and your lack of cooperation may just have him drop the case all together.

[aardvarc]

There's enough bad information in there to put BOTH of them in jail. At the minimum:

1) Stop talking to your husband unless you want ADDITIONAL charges against him for violating the restraining order. It doesn't matter that you WANT to communicate with him. As long as the order stands, it means what it says: no contact.

2) Prosecution can and does occur even with victims trying to throw wrenches into the gears. It's so common that it's expected. Cases where there are obvious injury are the very LEAST likely to be dropped due to an uncooperative witness. It's MORE expensive for the DA to drop this case, only to have to bring a murder case in the future.

3) It often surprises victims when their lies to protect an abuser result in criminal charges against them (filing a false police report or purjury - when you change your story you open yourself up to the possibility of one or the other). Don't go there. Last thing your kids need is both of you in jail - and yes, they will put BOTH of you in jail.

4) The deputies who show up to arrest you for contempt of court aren't going to be swayed because there are kids there and everyone is crying. They'll simply wait for the state or nearby relatives to show up and take custody of the kids.

[aardvarc]

Thank you Happy Trails. There was a court date yesterday (Pre trial stuff)....they never asked me to be there...but when I got home there was a business card from a deputy asking me to call the States Attorney. I really dont understand why they want me to call i know they have my number. By me not cooperating with them do you think that may help him?? I know that he is going to have to pay for his crime..but by putting him in prison he will be leaving three kids without child support or health care which he provides for now.

But by putting him in prison, they'll know that your children will continue to have a living mother for at least the time he's incarcerated. Financial dependency on an abuser isn't even close to a reason to continue to be a human punching bag. People bitch about violence on TV? Your kids have it at home - up close and personal. That's MORE damaging to them than missing a few meals. Talk to your local domestic violence program - Illinois has a HUGE network of them - and they understand this whole dynamic and can assist you in getting aid and making plans to be more self sufficient. If you're going to try to stay in this relationship - do so because of the merits of the relationship itself - NOT because you need his paycheck.

[ChaCha]

Thank you Happy Trails. There was a court date yesterday (Pre trial stuff)....they never asked me to be there...but when I got home there was a business card from a deputy asking me to call the States Attorney. I really dont understand why they want me to call i know they have my number. By me not cooperating with them do you think that may help him?? I know that he is going to have to pay for his crime..but by putting him in prison he will be leaving three kids without child support or health care which he provides for now.

Jackie,
They will prosecute you for perjury. They did to my daughter. You must fully cooperate with the DA. He has committed a crime for which he now must pay the price. What would be best for him is to cooperate fully and ask for counseling. You would not be helping him or your self to try to do anything else.
I am speaking from experience. Go seek out a therapist in a domestic violence shelter. It'll help you to know what you can and can't do. You don't want to do more damage to yourself than he has already done.
This is not your fault.
My prayers are with you.