[cjmorrill2005]

I need advice. I was involved with (not married to) a woman off and on for 20 years (in Arizona where there is no common law marriage) There are 3 children 19y, 11y, and 10y. I was NEVER listed on the birth certificates of any of them. We finally split in 2004. I moved to FL. I have called, sent gifts on all holidays, birthdays, etc. She has been asking for money, calling me names, badmouthing me to the kids, etc. I always agreed to send money if she put me on the birth certificates-she has refused. She has now initiated a child support case against me (I haven't received paperwork but I know a case exists). I want a DNA test on the kids for my own piece of mind. She is REALLY ticked off- telling the kids I deny I'm their father. Am I out of line to want a DNAtest, especially since she won't put my name on the birth certificates. Once paternity is established, can she refuse to put my name on the birth certificates of the minor children? (SHe states she will NEVER put my name on the BC and that she will never let me see the kids)Any and all constuctive advice welcome.

[seniorjudge]

Q: Am I out of line to want a DNA test, especially since she won't put my name on the birth certificates.

A: No. She's the one who filed the lawsuit, after all!

[rmet4nzkx]

Your name being on the Birth Certificate as no bearing on whether or not you have established paternity or any other paternal rights. And even if paternity is established, it wil take a court order and a lot of atorney's fees to get your name on after all these years of not having it on the BC. You will have to respond to the court papers and you may petition the court for a DNA test and you will have to pay for all of them, court ordered DNA tests run between $100-$600+ if you are the father it is also possible that they may or not allow it as you claimed paternity for years for them and are at least a psychological parent. If you want visitation, you will have to petition the court for it. Since you went all these years without any court orders you could possibly be made responsible for back child support if mom or the children were receiving welfare or state sponsored medical care but at least until the petition was filed. If you signed an acknowledgement of paternity at the hospital, you could be found responsible for some time back as well.

[cjmorrill2005]

We all lived together until April 2004. I worked and contributed money for the kids (of course, she says I never did anything). I have documentation proving I lived with her and the kids. Can they still go after back owed support (Prior to 2004) if I can prove we were all together under one roof? I don't mind paying for the paternity tests. She had a child with someone else while we were together and gave that baby up for adoption. That is why I concrete proof of paternity. If one (or more)of the kids turns out not to be mine, I don't want to be held responsible without some rights. I understand that just having my name on the BC doesn't guarantee anything. I want to establish paternity first and then have my name put on the BC's. She says she can refuse to do that. I'm not sure if she can. All the literature I have read says she can't. I only found out about my name not being on the birth certificates a few years ago (in an argument she said the kids weren't mine and she was glad she never named me as the father on their birth certificates). Of course, this is all hearsay cuz she'll deny it.

[rmet4nzkx]

Then by all means have paternity tests, if you havent received the child support papers, it would be best to check with the courts in the county where they reside to see if there are any court actions against you in case you are being charged by default. You may retain counsel and file to establish paternity yourself. You may also petition the courts to modify the birth certificate if you are proven the father, it will take a court order to change it, but you don't really know if you are on the birth certificate or not do you? SO you may want to check on that as well. Did you sign any papers while she was in the hospital?

[cjmorrill2005]

I did not sign anything in the hospital (at the time, I didn't realize I HAD to sign something)- I was always told that I had been listed as the father. Unfortunately, I think she would have pursued this sooner if I was listed.
Her most recent antic (8/11/06) was to have my 19yo daughter email me (at least it supposed to look like her) saying that I 1. should stop fighting this and just send money. 2.That mom isn't saying anything to influence their opinion of me 3. The younger ones want nothing to do with me because I don't love them. I am devestated that she is poisoning their minds. My kids will end up hating me. It's not right. She made it so she has all the control.

[rmet4nzkx]

If you are worried about your relationship with your children I suggest that you be preactive and petition the court now to establish paternity, this will inturn let your children know that you love them.
http://www.supreme.state.az.us/dr/Text/Paternity.htm

[cjmorrill2005]

Hi-
I have some new info. I received my paperwork yesterday. I am going to put in my request for paternity next week. I was reading thru the paperwork and it looks like the DOR is coming after me for 12K in TANF collected from 1990 to 1998. I never knew she had received any kind of public assistance (we always had separate bank accounts). But that's besides the point. Why are they able to come after me for the whole amount? Why isn't she 50% responsible? ALso, they are asking that the kids be put on my health insurance. First, I can barely afford my insurance now (it's $75 more a paycheck to add anyone else). SEcond, I have a plan that only works in a local network- it wouldn't work in AZ. Lastly, they are trying to get current CS for my 19year old daughter. Is that possible?
This is all speculative at this point. I am still not listed as the biological father. I was just looking for some more info

[cjmorrill2005]

Hi again. Update...
I received paperwork at the end of Sept for Child Support.I petitioned for DNA tests on the kids. The ex is having a complete meltdown over this. SHe has stopped letting me talk to the kids altogether. She is sending me nasty emails and she is having the oldest child send nasty emails as well. She has told the youger 2 kids I am denying that I'm the father. That I have a new family and that I have forgotten about them. She has also said she will NEVER allow my name to be put on the birth certificates (even if I am found to be the father). Anyway.... I found out she collected welfare from 1993-1998. The State of AZ is trying to make me pay back the $12403 she collected. I had NO prior knowledge of any welfare collected. SHe admits (in papers she supplied to DES) that we lived together from 1987-the end of 2004. She had to have lied on the initial application in order to get this money. My 2 questions are:
1. Can she prevent my name from being added, as the father, to the birth certificates (I know she can keep them from taking my last name).
2. If it shows that she lied on the welfare application, would I be responsible for paying all that money back?
The kids were born and reside in AZ and I live in FL
Thanks

[rmet4nzkx]

Please get an attorney in AZ to assist you in this matter. If you are the biological Father by DNA, then yes the state can collect back child support unless you can prove her intentional fraud.