Can I Move in with My Boyfriend As a Minor

**nightartist** · 10-11-2011, 10:54 AM

State of: Connecticut

So this is probably a stupid question with a big fat NO for an answer. But I figure why not ask? So I'm a 15 year old girl and I can say without lying that I HATE my parents. They've been ruining my life since day one. Treating me worse than my sisters and my brother. Everything from calling the cops on me for no reason to beating me to the point where I'm so bruised up all I can do is curl up in the corner and cry. There's been many times where they yell at me to pack my stuff and leave. And the only reason I haven't is because I've had no place to go. But now I do. My boyfriend of 6 months is 18 and in the army. He wants me to move in with him. I would definitly have packed my stuff and eft in a heartbeat. But there's several issues. I'm on probation. Have been for a while and one of the terms is basically that I stay with my parents. And I don't want to have to switch schools. Right now I'm in alternative and I love it. My boyfriend lives several towns away and I'd hate to bother him to find a place in Ansonia.

Anyways, I just want to get out of this hole I live in. Asap.

**LawResearcherMissy** · 10-11-2011, 11:17 AM

So this is probably a stupid question with a big fat NO for an answer.

You are correct. The answer is a big fat NO.

If you're being abused, call CPS.

**aardvarc** · 10-11-2011, 02:04 PM

Quoting nightartist

I HATE my parents. They've been ruining my life since day one.

The courts aren't going to see it as "ruining" if they've provided food, water, shelter, clothing, and living essentials that allowed you to live to the ripe old age of 15. "Ruining" would be if they left you on a windswept cliff to be eaten by coyotes.

Treating me worse than my sisters and my brother.

Wait till you're out in the real world. People like bosses and landlords treat people differently too.

Everything from calling the cops on me for no reason

Apparantly the police and courts found there was SOME reason - hence your probation status. Judges don't put people on probation just because they have nothing better to do or don't like the color of your hair.

beating me to the point where I'm so bruised up all I can do is curl up in the corner and cry

911 works, but you have to actually USE it. It not at the time, then next time you're safe. If you're being beaten, you need to be reporting it ASAP. NOT reporting it quickly means that your version of events looses credibility quickly. If you don't want to report it yourself, then show a teacher or school administrator ANY bruise - they are mandated reporters of potential abuse.

been many times where they yell at me to pack my stuff and leave.

There's another time for you to call police. Your parents are legally obligated to provide care for you - either under their own roof or by making arrangements for someone else to provide care for you. Throwing you out on the street without making provisions for your care is child abuse and they can be arrested for doing so. Next time it happens, pick up the phone. Police can explain the law to parents just as easily as they can explain it to anyone else.

pack my stuff and leave. And the only reason I haven't is because I've had no place to go.

And also because doing so would violate your probation. If you think things suck now, they'll suck MORE if you violate probation and get sent to a residential juvenile lockdown facility. Not good places.

My boyfriend lives several towns away and I'd hate to bother him to find a place in Ansonia.

You wouldn't be able to live with him without parental permission anyway. Giving your parents reason/ammo to file a runaway report won't end well for you - and if you're with HIM, he can face criminal charges like interferring with custody, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and of course the potential for statutory rape or other sexual offenses (having the charge can be problematic for him, even if eventually cleared).

Anyways, I just want to get out of this hole I live in. Asap.

Then put your nose to the grindstone and get yourself the best education you can, so that you can get a job that pays better than minimum wage, and the minute you turn 18 can get out of there, and support yourself - without having to depend on ANYONE else (18 year old military boyfriends don't have a great reputation of being with you for the rest of your life). Being educated and NOT being pregnant are the two best things that YOU have control over, and that can help determine how "ruined" your life ends up being in the LONG run (many times longer than the short 15 years you've experienced so far). And quit doing stuff that gets you put on probation. Juvenile records get sealed, but adult records are another big "ruining" factor, so figure out how to knock off the behaviors that resulted in the probation. Focus on what YOU can do for YOURSELF while you've got free rent, air conditioning, electricity, etc.

**nightartist** · 10-12-2011, 03:40 AM

Ok the only reason i'm on probation is because me and my mom were fighting. My dad called 911 and my mom showed them a bruise she already had and said i grabbed her when in fact i never touched her and she was the one who hit me. Course the cops don't believe me because i'm a "bad kid" and i'm "psychotic".
Also, we only have food now because my unce that lives with us gets foodstamps. And I have barely any clothes, 2 pares of pants, a couple shirt and i've been wearing that same socks for almost a month 'cause i don't have any!
Oh and since I've been going to alt ed I haven't missed a single day on school. So yeah I'm getting an education.

And I can't exactly trust the cops. They know me and they hate me, everything i say to them is a lie. And even if i did find one that believed me, the police in Ansonia are totally corrupt and don't do anything.

Ok, so right now i can't exactly move out, but maybe I can look into emancipation when i turn 16 in July.

Yeah, don't automatically assume my situation is ok, especially if you've never met me. Unless you have cameras in my house, you have no idea how bad it can be.

**LawResearcherMissy** · 10-12-2011, 06:43 AM

Ok, so right now i can't exactly move out, but maybe I can look into emancipation when i turn 16 in July.

How much money do you make at your full time job? If you're not already supporting yourself 100% - that means market rate rent, utilities, food, clothing, medical expenses, incidentals - and if you don't have a PROVEN track record of doing so, it's not going to happen. Read.

you have no idea how bad it can be.

It can be far, far worse than having a roof over your head, food in your belly, clothes on your back, running water, electricity...and a computer and internet connection to bitch to the world about how much your parents suck.

One more time, if you're being abused, call CPS. You can even call the national hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD

**free9man** · 10-12-2011, 06:57 AM

But no, emancipation won't happen for you. If you are in danger/being abused, you need to report it to the proper authorities. If they determine your home is not safe for you, they will put you somewhere they think is. Somewhere of their choosing, not yours.

**cbg** · 10-12-2011, 10:01 AM

Emancipation is not and never was intended to be a means for a minor to leave a bad situation. It was and is intended to be a means to provide legal protections to those minors who, through circumstances outside their own control, found themselves living on their own.

And the moment you even HINT that your future plans involve living with your boyfriend, the judge will deny your petition so fast you won't know what hit you.