My question involves adoption law for the State of: New York
This is long and somewhat complicated, but I would appreciate advice.
I became pregnant with my son in college by my then-boyfriend; when I wouldn't consider an abortion or adoption, he told me I was on my own and left. He would get angry if I would call/text him during my pregnancy to update him. When I went into labor I called him, and he did show up at the hospital the next day WITH his new girlfriend, whom I'd never met. They stayed about 15 minutes and left. He refused to sign the paternity acknowledgement so I had to take him to court to establish paternity & get child support. He visited one more time a couple weeks later (also with his girlfriend), and that's been it. He texted me a couple times after my son was born to ask if he could take him for an entire weekend. He lived an hour away, and my son was a newborn (and I was breastfeeding him), so I said no. I said he was more than welcome to come visit and that him taking our son without me there was something we would work up to, when he had earned my trust and the baby was older. He would get angry and tell everyone I was keeping him from our son.
My son is almost 3 now; this entire time, his father's family (who lives in MA) has been very involved. When he was younger I would go to their house and stay with the baby, and now that he's older, he goes there for a weekend every couple months. The only times he's seen my son is when they're having a family gathering and he happens to be there at the same time as my son. His sister (my son's aunt) tells me he has little to no interaction with my son. He's never pursued joint custody or visitation. He pays child support sporadically at best ($50/month is his obligation) because he changes jobs often, and I've just recently taken him to court for a violation. I keep him updated with my contact info but he never calls/texts.
He is now married to the other woman and they have a 5-month-old. They live 3 hours away. I've just recently texted him to ask him if he plans to see our son at all and he gives me the same old crap ("I've been meaning to, I've just been busy, moving, etc"). I am getting married soon and my fiance would very much like to adopt my son. When I brought it up with my ex, he stopped answering my texts and now refuses to speak to me. I was hoping we could get him to sign over his rights willingly; my fiance has been there for my son, cares for him and helps me financially with him, and loves him like his own. I would never prevent his father from seeing him should he choose to, and of course I wouldn't cut him off from the family either.
So I guess my question is, where do I go from here? Can I have his rights taken away so my soon-to-be-husband can adopt him, and if so, what steps do I take? The last time he saw my son was a couple months ago at his mom's birthday party and before that it was almost a year. He's currently facing a jail sentance if he doesn't pay me child support by the end of the month.
Phew. Sorry; I tried to keep that as brief as possible - just wanted you to have all the info. I could go on and on.
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