Grandparent Wants Out of State Visitation

[sissy10cat]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: NY

My grandchilds other grandparent is moving out of state and wants to have lengthy visitations. Does my grandchild have to go. He is only 3 yrs old. They will pay all airline costs but I feel like they are trying to get him out of state in order to try to get custody.

[Dogmatique]

There's just too little information here.

What do the parents think?

THEY have custody, correct? If not, how was custody decided?

[sissy10cat]

Sorry. My daughter has joint custody with physical placement. The childs father moved to the same state that his parents are moving to. His parents took over his weekend visitations when he moved. Now they want longer visitations when they move. They want my daughter to let her 3 yr old fly to them 3 wks on then 3 wks off.

[Dogmatique]

This is important.

Do the grandparents have ANY kind of custody or visitation already?

Why didn't Dad exercise visitation?

[sissy10cat]

Nothing through court. They just took over their son's weekend visits. The Dad moved out of state to find work about 4 mos ago, so the grandparents have been getting they grandson every other weekend. The Dad came back about a month ago to visit, and now his parents want to move also. They want my daughter to sign a paper that they wrote up, giving a visit schedule of 3 wks with them, then 3 wks with my daughter. I don't have the paper right now, but it basically gave dates they want him , along with all details about meeting at the airports and such. My grandson is close with them, but my daughter doesn't trust them. They tried getting custody taken away from my daughter when he was a baby. They called cps on her and their son because he didn't go to Dr appt. After my daughter split due to domestic violence, they seem to be trying something again. The child's father signed a paper before he moved, stating he would not try to take the son out of state. Should she go to court. The grandparents are rushing her to sign the paper by next wk.

[Dogmatique]

Please recite this to your daughter:

NO. Under NO circumstances should she agree to ANYTHING like this. She is basically giving the grandparents 50% custody (if informally) and they CAN use that against her in court.

In fact - given the history you've just shared, I would immediately cease ALL contact with the grandparents. If they want to file for grandparent visitation, let them file in court. And if they do, your daughter needs to argue:

1. The grandparents have never been caregivers to the child and they have never lived with the child

2. They are expected to visit with the child during dad's parenting time. If he chooses not to exercise his parenting time, your daughter should NOT be penalized for that.

3. 3 weeks on/off is not reasonable and completely tramples over her constitutional rights to parent HER child.

OP, you really, really, REALLY need to emphasize this.

Trust me - there isn't a court in the land (even in GP-friendly NY) which would order 3 weeks with mom, 3 weeks with the grandparents. Not a single court.

[sissy10cat]

What if the dad tries to do the same thing. Does he have to come back to nys for court?

[Dogmatique]

Yeap - he'll have to come to NY in order to change anything.

What do the current custody orders say, by the way? Just the usual every other weekend/one night per week?

Where did he move to?

[sissy10cat]

Every other wknd. S. Carolina

[Dogmatique]

He's not going to get 3 weeks on/off with Mom.

He's not going to get a 50/50 timeshare of ANY sort.

It's just not going to happen.

If he wants to change custody at all, he'll need to prove a change of circumstance in his child's life.

Your daughter might want to think about filing in court to change the current orders - this is now going to be a long-distance visitation plan. She can google those (deltabravo.net has some decent examples). Dad moved, so she can request that (since kiddo is so young) that visitation takes place in NY. She can also request that Dad be responsible for all transportation costs since he created the distance. Skype/webcam visits are possible (and encouraged more and more these days).