Getting Custody if Not the Biological Father

[novadad]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Virginia

My wife moved out 3 years ago to live with family and deal with substance abuse issues. My then 2 year old daughter and I stayed living in our Virginia home. In those three years I cared for my daughter every other week while my wife cared for her at her parent's home in Maryland the opposite week.

My daughter just started school in Virginia this week and the plan was to have her live with me. We were working toward a divorce and I planned on seeking full custody until my wife becomes sober. Today she told me I am not the biological father. Our daughter was born when we were married. I am hoping the issue of biological paternity will not play a part in custody determination. I am told my daughter has just been introduced to her "dad" this past weekend. Will not being the biological father hurt my chances of getting full custody?

Thank you

[cyjeff]

What a horrid person your ex is... to throw that into your child's life right now must be devastating to that little girl.

You ARE the legal father. After 5 years, there is really nothing the biological father can do about that. He can try to establish paternity, but if any judge has the sense God gave a mountain goat, you will be allowed to remain dad.

I cannot imagine what your child is going through... was she introduced to this stranger as "your REAL dad" or words to that sort?

Your child is going to require fairly involved therapy to deal with this... she simply doesn't have the tools to do so at her age.

I hope your ex was a better person drunk... because sober, she is a raving ... well, let's say witch.

[Dogmatique]

This might be tricky. If the biological father comes forward and your wife is on board with him, he may actually be able to file and establish his own paternity if he can prove a material mistake of fact. This would disestablish your paternity and you would have no rights to your daughter.

PLEASE speak with a local attorney immediately.

ETA: Just read cyjeff's response. I agree for the most part - but age 5 is tricky. I've seen it happen, unfortunately. I really think Dad needs to speak with an attorney asap.

[cyjeff]

This might be tricky. If the biological father comes forward and your wife is on board with him, he may actually be able to file and establish his own paternity if he can prove a material mistake of fact. This would disestablish your paternity and you would have no rights to your daughter.

PLEASE speak with a local attorney immediately.

ETA: Just read cyjeff's response. I agree for the most part - but age 5 is tricky. I've seen it happen, unfortunately. I really think Dad needs to speak with an attorney asap.

I absolutely agree with the attorney... and NOW.

I can't help but wonder what is going through that little girl's mind right now.....

[novadad]

I wanted to revise the description of the meeting my daughter had with "Dad" from my first post. I do know they met but do not think that my daughter was told he was her Dad. I am frustrated and was not clear. Calling him "Dad" was my spouse's way of attacking me when explaining what she had done.

I do plan to speak to an attorney as soon as possible but just found out a few hours ago and was looking for opinions at this late hour. Thanks everyone.

So to add: my daughter is currently not dealing with this and I hope to protect her as much as possible.

[cyjeff]

All the more reason to get an attorney involve soonest before mom decides the best way to make sure she can have the little family she wants is through your daughter's pain.