One Night Stand Gone Wrong

[jamesondarling]

My question involves paternity law for the State of: Washington

Ok, here's the story and please don't judge. I am just giving the facts. A woman I work with came to me and told me she was interested and I denied her. After repeated advances I finally gave in and we ended up having relations, but it was only one time. I was not the only person she was with. And when she came up pregnant, she had NO idea who the father was. She requested that I take a paternaty test but she also told me that she wanted nothing from me and that she would handle the situation herself. As it turns out the baby was mine but my name is not on the birth certificate. Now she is trying to take me to court. I have been sending her money privately ever since I found out to help her but I really want no other part than that. She is playing serious games and I want to know how far she can take this.

[PQN]

She can take you to court. The court will order you to submit to an official DNA test (unless the first test was already an approved test). Then the court will order you to pay child support. The amount will be figured using this: https://fortress.wa.gov/dshs/csips/ssgen/

The court can order child support retroactive (generally to the date that she filed, sometimes as far back as birth). The money you have given her so far is considered a gift and may or may not be deducted from any back amount the court orders. Your best bet is to use the above worksheet, determine your monthly amount and start banking that amount each month instead of giving it to her until the court issues its order, then you will be able to write her one big check immediately rather than dealing with arrears.

If you never wish to meet the child, you will not be forced to do so, but this child is your offspring, do you want him/her to grow up wondering why you don't care?

Here is more info: http://www.dshs.wa.gov/dcs/

[aardvarc]

As it turns out the baby was mine but my name is not on the birth certificate.

If the case is pursued, the court will order the birth certificate updated with the father's info.

Now she is trying to take me to court.

If you are served with notice of suit, it's VERY important that you respond. Ignoring it means that the court can enter a default judgment against you.

I have been sending her money privately ever since I found out to help her but I really want no other part than that.

As noted above, you don't have to play any active role in the child's life. Neither mom nor the courts can force you to meet or interact with the child. The court WILL however expect and enforce financial support for the child.

She is playing serious games and I want to know how far she can take this.

Creating children out of wedlock is serious games. The problem with one night stands is that at least part of the night has to go "right" to result in a pregnancy - but it's kind of like a really expensive ticket to Disney World - it takes 18 years to pay for the ticket, even though you had to stand in line and the roller coaster fun only lasted a short time. SHE can take the issue to the court. The COURT will take it up in the best interest of the CHILD to make sure that the child gets the financial support it deserves from BOTH parents responsible for brining the child into the world.

[distressedmom]

It was hard to tell from the worksheet, is support adjusted for shared parenting time? If so, just from a financial standpoint to go for shared custody.


The child is the innocent victim. Even if the one night stand went "wrong" having a relationship with this child could be the one "right" in this situation.

[LawResearcherMissy]

She is playing serious games and I want to know how far she can take this.

You are not an innocent victim here. Let's not call this a case of "crazy bitch playing games", OK? You were an active and enthusiastic participant in the creation of this child, and now you have a legal obligation to support it.

She can take you to court for child support, and it WILL be awarded. If you choose not to pay, you WILL face wage garnishment and interception of income tax refunds. Fall far enough into arrears, and you can lose your drivers license and the ability to obtain a passport until you're caught up. If you fail to support your child and Mom ends up on assistance, the government WILL come after you for reimbursement.

Marry and have children with your wife later? They're going to take a back seat to this child you have already created. You will not be permitted to cease paying, nor will the courts sympathize with "I have kids to feed" and offer you a reduction in support. The kid that's there first gets first dibs on support. This will remain in force until the child is at least 18, though sometimes the court will order support til the age of 21.

If you're going to make a habit of "giving in", you might look to carrying a condom or three, lest you find yourself in this position again. No judgment, just reality. Fellas in your position used to come to the Planned Parenthood clinic I volunteered in, looking for someone to convince their one night stand to have an abortion. We simply silently proffered the large basket of cheerfully colored condoms that lived on the counter, free for the taking.