Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    8

    Default Domestic Violence Charges Ruining Our Lives

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: Kentucky

    The issue my son's father and I are facing is that he is attending anger management / perp offender classes for Domestic Violence. He was charged with Felony Assault and Battery. He accepted a plea bargain of three years probation and 3 years suspended jail time. This all took place a year ago. Fast forward to today. He is now working a job on an assembly line in a factory for a reputable car manufacturer. He's attending his classes paying his child support accepting fault for what he did and trying to rebuild his life and our family. The problem we have is that he's just a temporary employee. He works hard never misses or is late for work and he really wants to get hired on permanently. Unfortunately due to his criminal record we're both afraid that he won't be able to be hired and will be determined uneligible due to this Felony of domestic violence. At least we've been told that he might be and basically that he can't get a job to provide for our family with that felony on his record. Thus not only will he suffer but so will I and so will our son since I do receive Child Support and would be depending on his income financially regardless of if we're together or not. I actually want us to be together but it seems like our lives are pretty much ruined by his actions and that regardless of the change he's made we will all still suffer. Is this true? Or can he still get a job other than flipping hamburgers? I feel like I'm being punished for pressing charges I just wanna beat my head against a wall.........like this.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    27,297

    Default Re: Domestic Violence Charges Ruining Our Lives

    These are consequences for his actions.

    You mention in another thread that he is Chinese.

    Is he an immigrant? There is a reason for my question.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Domestic Violence Charges Ruining Our Lives

    He's been here since he was 7 he has his citizenship. So my son and I have to suffer the consequences too? We depend on him financially as well. That seems extremely unjust!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    27,297

    Default Re: Domestic Violence Charges Ruining Our Lives

    It's more unjust that your boyfriend chose to commit such a heinous act on you, the mother of his child.

    I'm sorry - I don't know what you want to hear. He pled guilty - end of story. You're not being punished, HE is. HE is the one that's hurting you both. Not the system.

    As a side note, you really shouldn't depend on child support. You need to do whatever you can to be self-sufficient and support your child.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Domestic Violence Charges Ruining Our Lives

    Every child has the legal right to financial support from both parents. It says so in the child support office. Thanks anyway though. It should not be entirely on my shoulders to support my child when he was created by two people but somehow I should be the only one financially responsible for him. Wow your posts are extremely unhelpful.

    BTW: I've been through DV counseling. I have a DV worker and even SHE says they can change so you are the uneducated person here NOT ME!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    27,297

    Default Re: Domestic Violence Charges Ruining Our Lives

    You're welcome.

    And seriously - you are lucky. In many cases of DV, CPS will become involved and remove the child from the dangerous situation if the victim returns to the abuser.

    I'm sorry you don't like the legal reality.

    You may want to remain in counseling.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  7. #7

    Default Re: Domestic Violence Charges Ruining Our Lives

    Unfortunately, choosing a partner who ends up with felony charges can and will have consequences, no matter WHAT the crime was, whether domestic violence, or bank robbery, or even non-violent felonies like embezzlement. It SHOULDN'T be on your shoulders to totally support your son, but neither you nor the state can get water out of a rock. If he ends up unemployed, even child support can't garnish a check that doesn't exist. If the accused's actions put their employment in jeopardy, then the person to be mad at is the person whose actions BROUGHT these consequences...his. Keep working with your advocate - there are lots of programs and services available to both you and your child, and in most communities, the only way to access many of those services is via your local programs.

    CAN abusers change? Absolutely! The problem is that most don't - because most of them both refuse to see that THEY have a problem, and most won't SEEK help to change. When change is FORCED on them due to criminal charges, rather than than them seeking help for themselves BEFORE incidents resulting in criminal charges occur, long term change isn't the common outcome. Not that it CAN'T happen, but it usually doesn't. Those who understand that there's a problem and seek help on their own have reasonable rates of success. Those who get convictions, especially felonies, typically don't.
    Catherine NeSmith
    Executive Director
    AARDVARC.org, Inc.
    http://www.aardvarc.org

    Fave Big Bang Theory site: Sheldon Cooper Fans

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Toledo, OH
    Posts
    16,070

    Default Re: Domestic Violence Charges Ruining Our Lives

    Every child has the legal right to financial support from both parents.
    Every child has the right, yes. Many children, however, are not supported by both parents. Should you be the only one responsible? Absolutely not. But reality shows us that a large portion of children are not supported by their non-custodial parent. Look around at all the threads here that ask for help dealing with deadbeat parents. They didn't think it would happen to them, either. It was Twue Wuv, after all.

    I have a DV worker and even SHE says they can change so you are the uneducated person here NOT ME!
    No one called you uneducated, dearie. But I'll go ahead and call you naive if you think that desiring to be with a confessed felon is going to make your life easier. Doggie is absolutely correct when she says that it isn't the system that has screwed you. He did that when he beat you up.

    You have a responsibility to your son to ensure that you are not thoroughly dependent upon the income of someone who never learned to keep his hands to himself, and as a result may well be unemployable for quite some time to come. You need to have a contingency plan for if/when he loses his job and can't find another, or decides the desert you.
    I'm not a lawyer, but I play a researcher on the internet!
    Caution: I bite. WARNING: Do not send questions or complaints by PM. I'm likely to post them publicly and embarrass you half to death.
    I'm training for the MS Society's Bike to the Bay - and blogging about it!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Domestic Violence Charges Ruining Our Lives

    Thanks for your input aardvarc. I'm glad someone with the proper knowledge chimed in and let me know a good solid answer.

    Just wanted to add for the dog person that my son has not even seen his father since we've gotten back together. I am taking things slowly so until you know the whole situation, BACK OFF!!!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Toledo, OH
    Posts
    16,070

    Default Re: Domestic Violence Charges Ruining Our Lives

    until you know the whole situation, BACK OFF!!!
    Uh, you came to us, not the other way around.

    If you're unhappy with the answers you receive, feel free to avail yourself of Port 80 - you can leave through it just as easily as you entered.
    I'm not a lawyer, but I play a researcher on the internet!
    Caution: I bite. WARNING: Do not send questions or complaints by PM. I'm likely to post them publicly and embarrass you half to death.
    I'm training for the MS Society's Bike to the Bay - and blogging about it!

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence Charges
    By flgirl in forum Criminal Charges
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 06-06-2009, 05:49 PM
  2. Assault & Battery: Possible Domestic Violence Charges
    By JaySee in forum Criminal Charges
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 12-30-2007, 03:09 PM
  3. Domestic Violence: Assault Charges Dropped, Domestic Violence Charges Filed
    By hungry in forum Criminal Charges
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 10-26-2007, 10:02 PM
  4. Assault & Battery: Domestic Violence Charges
    By intexas in forum Criminal Charges
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 08-24-2007, 11:13 AM
  5. Domestic Violence: Domestic violence charges
    By what in forum Criminal Charges
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 05-09-2006, 07:12 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
 
Forum Sponsor
Criminal Defense Attorney
Protect your freedom. Consult a criminal defense lawyer for free.




Untitled Document