Results 1 to 8 of 8
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Idaho
    Posts
    4

    Default My Sons Biological Father Has Been in Prison Since My Son Was Born

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Idaho
    So we just wrapped up a 3 day nasty trial where i tried to terminate the rights of my sons biological father so my husband can adopt him.. We lost. The biological father has only been out of prison for 4 months of my sons 3 1/2 year life.. And not consecutive either.. He has now been steadily in prison for 2 years and will be released June 2012.. My son has no idea who his biological father is and only knows my husband as daddy, as my husband has been there since he was a little baby. The biological father has a 16 year prior record, multiple felonies and has never paid child support until he worked in prison and had his wages garnished. He never even had contact with the child until I sued him for termination. I even tried to get my sons last name changed to my name and lost! Why does the deck seem so stacked against me? So the judge gave me full custody but granted the father visitation when he is released. Can I move away? What if i move to another state or another country? Will I go to jail for trying to protect my child when the system has failed me?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    27,752

    Default Re: My Sons Biological Father Has Been in Prison Since My Son Was Born

    If you try IN ANY MANNER to restrict Dad's rights, impede his visitation or anything of that nature you can LOSE custody.

    Do you realize that?!

    Surely that's not what you want?
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Idaho
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: My Sons Biological Father Has Been in Prison Since My Son Was Born

    Obviously not or I wouldnt be going through all the trouble to do it the right way 1st.. But seeing as this person is a bad man and I am scared for my child i will do waht is needed to protect my child. Especially a child who by no fault of his own has no idea who this man is..

    I just want to know what I can do now, without having to get myself in trouble.. The judge made his decision based on a caselaw Idaho has stating that prison is a VALID excuse to be away from your child and not concidered abandonment.. Despite the fact that he was released TWICE during my sons infancy and had the chance to be a father.. but chose not to. The judge even stated had it not been for that case law his decision would have been different.. I would like to appeal this case but can not afford that as I am in debt up to my eyeballs from the 1st trial.. I have been told to contact the attorney generals office and speak to them about my case and getting help... Im starting to panic as his release date is less than a year from now and I am afraid for my child. Im hoping that there is something I can do now and save my some the grief of getting to know some man that will hurt and disappoint him.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    27,752

    Default Re: My Sons Biological Father Has Been in Prison Since My Son Was Born

    Quote Quoting crystallaylalane
    View Post
    Obviously not or I wouldnt be going through all the trouble to do it the right way 1st.. But seeing as this person is a bad man and I am scared for my child i will do waht is needed to protect my child. Especially a child who by no fault of his own has no idea who this man is..

    This person is a bad man who had a lengthy record BEFORE you had a child with him. You basically told the court that you accepted his history, and you were fine with it. And seriously Mom? Your son needs to understand that your husband is NOT his Daddy. Again, this can point to alienation and you can lose custody. Have you been honest with your son about his father?



    I just want to know what I can do now, without having to get myself in trouble.. The judge made his decision based on a caselaw Idaho has stating that prison is a VALID excuse to be away from your child and not concidered abandonment.. Despite the fact that he was released TWICE during my sons infancy and had the chance to be a father.. but chose not to. The judge even stated had it not been for that case law his decision would have been different.. I would like to appeal this case but can not afford that as I am in debt up to my eyeballs from the 1st trial.. I have been told to contact the attorney generals office and speak to them about my case and getting help... Im starting to panic as his release date is less than a year from now and I am afraid for my child. Im hoping that there is something I can do now and save my some the grief of getting to know some man that will hurt and disappoint him.

    There is no error of law - you cannot appeal as far as I can see. The judge used relevant case law to back up his decision - that makes it all the harder to appeal actually. The AG's office cannot help you.

    I'm sorry, but the decision has been made. Your son's father is being given a chance to BE a father. What you and stepDad can do is teach your son coping skills to help him deal with disappointment (if it happens).

    You have no proof that Dad will hurt him. There's a chance he'll want to BE a father.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Idaho
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: My Sons Biological Father Has Been in Prison Since My Son Was Born

    I did not know of his record before my son.. And found out when I was pregnant and left him. My son is too young to understand if i tried to explane the difference to him right now. I have no intention of lying to him once he is older and can understand. And his record has continued after the child was born.. hence he is in prison currently. And I DO know that the father has harmful behavior to children as he has 2 older children that I have come to know over the years he has been away and their history with him is horrifying.. but because they couldnt testify in court we couldnt tell the judge any of that because its all "hearsay" And the word "Daddy" has nothing tp do with a sperm donar. It is the man who has raised, supported, taught and loved the child. Same with the word "Mommy". He tried to accuse me of alienation in court actually and it didnt fly with the judge, as all these years he has made no effort to contact my son.

    Although i do know that he will not be out of prison long as he has shown with his past that he will be a lifer... he will mess up shortly after being released so I guess I will just bide my time and protect my son as much as i can.. hopefully once that happens I can then termiate his rights.. because when that does happen he will not be released again before my son comes of age.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    27,752

    Default Re: My Sons Biological Father Has Been in Prison Since My Son Was Born

    Okay then.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Idaho
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: My Sons Biological Father Has Been in Prison Since My Son Was Born

    I know you dont know me, and you sound like one of those people who are all for "fathers rights" Well guess what I am to. My oldest daughter has a different father and we have had NO trouble co-parenting. I am very grateful for him being a good dad and a good example for her. I have alwys promoted their relationship. But her safety with him was never an issue.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    27,752

    Default Re: My Sons Biological Father Has Been in Prison Since My Son Was Born

    I'm for children's rights, actually. Even if Dad is a multiple felon, the child has the right to know who he is and have a relationship until and unless a court of law says otherwise.

    The courts have issued their decision. It is a legal decision, and unless there has been an error of law it cannot be appealed simply because you don't like the decision.

    Moving away after the decision is going to present a huge red flag to the courts. It will be apparent that you're trying to keep Dad from having that relationship. IF you want to relocate, please PLEASE do it through the court system. Request permission from the court. Do not simply up and leave.

    Though given the circumstances I cannot see a relocation being approved at this point. The court is already intending on allowing Dad to have access to the child, and will likely be very hesitant to reduce that access.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Similar Threads

  1. What Can I Do to Ensure My Sons Safety While in the Care of His Father
    By KatInMa in forum Child Custody and Visitation
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-11-2011, 06:01 PM
  2. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 01-16-2011, 04:30 PM
  3. Changing a Child's Name: Want Son's Name Changed Without Father Knowing
    By navsandhu in forum Name Change
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 11-18-2010, 09:01 AM
  4. Adoption of Children: Adoption When the Biological Father is in Prison
    By KSGMA in forum Adoption Law and Surrogacy
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-04-2009, 08:54 PM
  5. Adoption of Children: Adopting biological child born out of wedlock
    By amy2772 in forum Adoption Law and Surrogacy
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 06-15-2006, 04:07 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
 
Forum Sponsor
Custody Lawyer
Get help for your custody case. Consult a divorce lawyer for free.




Untitled Document