Father Didn't Know About Child

**normprosser** · 08-02-2011, 07:54 PM

My question involves paternity law for the State of: New York
5 years ago I had relations with a married woman. Now she is trying to say I have a 4 year old son, that her husband accepted paternity to. I knew nothing about the child until I received a facebook message from her today. I am happily married with 6 children now and do not want another child in our life. What right do I have of refusing this child in the legal system if she decided to get DNA testing?

**Dogmatique** · 08-02-2011, 08:17 PM

If you refuse court-ordered DNA testing, the court can find you to be the father by default. It is NOT in your best interest to refuse any court order or summons. However, you will never be forced to have a relationship with your child - although if you are declared the father, you will be responsible for child support.

Now, what is she actually saying about paternity? Is she divorcing her husband?

**normprosser** · 08-02-2011, 08:28 PM

Yes she is getting divorced or already divorced not sure. All she has done so far is threatened to take me for paternity test. But being the husband signed acknowledgement of paternity and birth certificate doesnt that mean he is legally responsible for the child unless i wanted to be.

**Dogmatique** · 08-02-2011, 08:40 PM

Not necessarily - if her husband disestablished paternity as part of the divorce proceedings (and that's possible, even without the biological father coming forward), you could be her first target.

**normprosser** · 08-02-2011, 08:50 PM

From our conversation when she informed me, she said the husband would continue to raise the child. And then apparently got mad when I told her I wanted nothing to do with the child, and told me she would see me in court. So lets assume the child is mine and he still wants to be dad and I dont what happens?

**Dogmatique** · 08-02-2011, 09:11 PM

Here's the thing.

If he is LEGALLY disestablished as father, she can come after you (and so can the State if she's on State aid) and try to establish paternity. You would, if you're established as the father, be legally responsible for the child.

And though it doesn't seem fair, she could choose to allow her husband regular access to the child. It sounds like a scam - and in a way, it is - but it's not uncommon unfortunately. So the bottom line is, he could still play Daddy, and have you pay child support.

You really need to find out whether paternity was disestablished. The easy way would be to find out if there are custody orders. If there are, then he's still legally Dad - and you're off the hook.