Rehab and Child Custody

[ashnik]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: california


My husband and I have been married for three years. He has a son 7 yrs old from a previous marriage. He and his ex wife were married very young. They did a lot of drugs and partying together. They divorced and both got clean. They have a 50-50 legal/physical joint custody. We have him 2 days on, 2 days off... Cycle. Anyway, the ex wife has relapsed several times and left my step son in the care of us and her mother. All the while, even though the ex mother in law bad mouths my husband in front of step son, we figured she is helping raise our son in his mothers absences. (When she'd goes on drug benders.) Ex wife finally cleaned up, no rehab, just decided to come back. We were about to go to court and try to modify custody. I just want what's best for my step son and though I do not agree with ex wife's Parenting, I am hoping she sticks around, clean. Months pass.

We call child protection service on ex wife. She is using in the home with step son, he says. Nothing ever comes of this, though I do not doubt it. Ex wife begins spreading rumors. Saying horrible things in front of step son about his father. Ex mother in law is on the same wagon. We really don't care, seems like projection. But its having an effect on our son.

My husband recently relapsed. Its absolutely in the best interest of all parties for husband to go to rehab. This could be six months. Of course, ex and family won't see this as a positive step. It will just be proof in their minds of everything they have been telling step son.

When my husband goes, what is going to happen? What is our best course of action for when my husband gets done? This is voluntary, will that have any barring in court? Should we do anything before he goes? I have no idea where to go with this. I am assuming I will have no rights as a step parent? Will husbands parents be able to see step son? Ex wife is going to fight any and everything, but as his mother, I guess she can.

Forgive me. Child custody is not something I've ever had to deal with. I just love my step son and will miss him.

[Mr. Knowitall]

If your husband is entering a six month program this is a pretty significant relapse, and suggests that he's been unstable for some time.

It's not clear from your post who presently has custody or what the present custody order states. It goes without saying that if dad's going to be away for six months, he's not in a position to modify custody and seek more time.

Your rights come through your spouse. Visitation with children is often difficult for people in rehab, but you can explore the possibility of facilitating visits with your husband. I do not know how much access his ex- will allow you to have during the time he's out of the household and unable to directly exercise visitation.

[ashnik]

They have a 50/50 legal/physical.
So its pretty much at the discretion of his ex how much she allows anyone to see my step son? I assumed this.
And can she get full custody of him while my husband is away? Full legal?
I'm just wondering... if she is able to modify custody, will rehab (in the eyes of a judge) keep him from getting a 50/50 arrangement once he is through?