Likelihood of Supervised Visits

[BLCSweetness]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Ca.

I am going through a child custody battle of sorts and had a few questions of the likelihood of supervised visits. I filed for divorce and Custody of our daughter I asked for joint legal custody and sole physical custody with supervised visits for my ex he has major anger issues and has broken things and thrown things as well as fought with me in front of the children many times calling me names during the fights as well once he also hit me and i called the police i was preg at the time with our daughter and when the sheriff came he almost refused to write a report because he didn't want me to go to jail as well because in ca. almost every time there is a domestic dispute both party's go to jail until they can find who is at fault so under his recommendation i did not file a report i do have photo evidence of holes he put in the wall as well as a photo of a dent he put in his vehicle after an argument between us. he also smokes weed but has a medical marijuana card which makes it legal for him to smoke but the reasons he gave to the doc to get the card were false (migraines, back pain) when we were together he never complained of any ailments I have migraines myself and manage with Excedrin migraine why cant he??? And ever since the baby was born he has never had her alone never even asked to take her anywhere alone claiming he could not handle her while she was small that she needed me and only me so his visits have always been supervised. I have always initiated visits as well he never calls to see his daughter he always rely's on me to make the effort. Recently his visits even tho i call him every week have become sparatic seeing our daughter maybe once every couple of weeks if that And when he does come she crys and wants away from him because she does not know him. Her first birthday was this last weekend he didn't even show up for that as well not a phone call a present nothing. He also doesnt have a place for her to stay he rents a room from people who party all the time they have no other rooms for rent i have proof of the partys that go on at the house from posts on facebook. What do you think the likely hood of supervised visitations will be I just want him to know his daughter and make the effort i know i cannot make him want to but i cant see sending her to him alone when she does not know him and the possibility of him getting mad and doing the things he does when he is mad in front of her or directed toward her scares me. As well as the drug use and partying i know smoking pot is like one of the less scary drugs but none the less it is inhibiting and if he uses while my daughter is around could be dangerous the partying is unacceptable at all in my opinion. Thanks for your answers in advance

[Dogmatique]

What proof do you have of any of this? Photos count for nothing - they only prove that something happened, not who was responsible.

Is it your word against his?

And really - he doesn't know her? You're married...

[BLCSweetness]

And really - he doesn't know her? You're married...

Yes we are married but we have been separated and living in different homes since feb of 2010. The only proof i have of the anger is the photos and a written note from my father whom lived with us during the whole marriage and witnessed the anger he has i have no proof of the marijuana use but i was going to ask the judge to ask him to have a drug test done i will take one as well to show i have nothing to hide and if he isn't using he shouldn't either. the partying in his home i have Facebook posts that were written by his roommates the ones he rents the room from. I have also have kept a diary of his visits since birth i do not have a lawyer and neither does he i dont even know if the proof i have is even admissible and was going to go to the family facilitators office this week to see if they were Our court date for OSC custody is on the 11th of july and he hasnt even filed a response yet and if he doesn't will that make a diffrence?

[Dogmatique]

Then honestly?

I see nothing at all to justify supervised visitation.

Sorry.

(If he doesn't turn up, you might get what you're asking for by default - but if he appeals, he will get another chance)

[BLCSweetness]

Seriously??? Not seeing his daughter and only having sup visits, Anger issues, Doing drugs, partying all the time, and Physical abuse isn't grounds for sup Visits?????? What kind of world are we living in if we allow children into a potentially dangerous situation?

[Dogmatique]

Because you can't prove anything - and the court won't order supervised visits based upon a "what if".

Really - partying with marijuana isn't seen as too much of a big deal in family court these days unless there is actually PROOF that the child is in danger. PLUS he apparently has a prescription...

So you need PROOF - actual evidence such as arrests, convictions etc., - that not only is he partying frequently, but that his partying is endangering the child.

The ONLY thing you might have is that he hasn't had much time with her alone. So, you can ask about that - but really Mom, even if you get supervised visitation ordered it will only be temporary...if he does things right, he's going to get a regular infant visitation schedule eventually.

Oh, when did he abuse the baby, incidentally?

[BLCSweetness]

He never abused the baby unless you consider him hitting me when preg abusing our daughter. That happened in feb 2010 which is why we separated I do not allow or condone any kind of violence like that.
I realize that it will only be temporary but maybe in that time he will come to realize the importance of having a good relationship with his daughter. I was also going to ask the court to have him take a anger management class...

[Dogmatique]

You can ask for everything you've mentioned here. If he doesn't turn up at the hearing, there's a good chance you'll get everything you want by default.

However, he can then appeal the decision (within a certain time-frame). A default ruling is easier to have overturned than had the issue been decided with both parties present and involved.

There's also a chance that he just won't bother at all.

[BLCSweetness]

Thanks so much for your answer even though sadly it wasn't what i was hoping to hear. I am still not going to give up as i said i will go down to the fam law fac office this week. Im just trying to make sure my daughter is safe healthy and happy. THANKS AGAIN AND HAVE A GOOD NIGHT