False Accusation of Obstruction of Breathing, Order of Protection Issued

[JL35]

My question involves criminal law for the state of: New York

Hi, I would like to thank all the people that offer their time and knowledge to help others get through some of life tragedies.

My Story –

I was living with my ex girlfriend for 2 years. I supported her, opened my home to her kids, fed them and took care of them.
Towards the end of our relationship she had become very jealous. She really took it to the extreme to the point where she was even jealous of my 5 year old daughter. It was no longer acceptable to me so I ended the relationship.
About three weeks went by and there was no contact between us and we weren’t even speaking to each other. I figured I would make an attempt to at least be friends again by writing a letter and going to her job when she was at the end of her shift and feel the situation out. If she didn’t want to talk I would just hand her the letter and walk away and that’s exactly what ended up happening. I ended up sending her flowers the next day also. Well the very next day after that I had found out that she was with another man and understandably I got upset. I was done with the situation at that point and I ended up regrettably cursing her out via text and that’s all I did.
Over the course of those same three weeks her kids were texting me saying that they were upset with her over this situation. I DID NOT initiate texting with them or say anything inappropriate to them but I did forward their texts to my ex so she can see how they feel.
It had been a month and a half since our break up and still no contact so I was done because I know I tried to do the right thing and if she wasn’t open to communication I wasn’t going to waste my time anymore. I was moving forward without her.
My ex wife had approached me several times after our divorce and she’s been wanting to get back together. I still love my ex wife and decided to give it a shot to work on getting my family back together. Well my ex girl friend who did not want to communicate and was already with someone else found out from stalking me, that I was back with my ex wife who she was always so jealous of.
She decided that she wanted to pay me back by going to the police with false accusations saying that I had pushed her down to the ground, sat on her chest and obstructed her breathing with my hand so I had spent the night in jail, have a stay away order of protection against me and now facing very serious charges. All lies and meanwhile I hadn’t even spoken a word to her in nearly a month at that point.
She has no evidence of anything because this event never happened but I wouldn’t put it past her to manufacture that as well. She did this for no other reason than to get revenge on me because I got back with my ex wife and I won’t find out exactly what I’m up against until Thursday, which is when I go to my first court date.
I do have a lot of dirt on her as far as proof of her stalking me, illegal activities in her work place (drug related) and I can also call CPS on her for inappropriate things that she has done with her kids.
Any advice on how I should handle this situation? I’m obviously dealing with a very irrational person here that takes jealousy and anger to the extreme. Any help in this matter would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading…

[viol8te]

It sounds like you can be pretty irrational as well. If you think that getting her in hot water with work or CPS is a trump card, you need to be prepared to go to war with her.

The reality is that you ignored obvious signs that she was moving on without you. You seemed to need closure and wanted her to respond to you in some way in order for you to move on.

When it comes to your hearing, if the charges are indeed false, she may not even come to court and they may drop it. If not, plead not guilty, hire an attorney and fight the case. It would probably be in your best interest to cease communication with her kids and her. Trying to get her in trouble probably won't be the best idea either.

[JL35]

I have known this woman since kindergarten and I didn't think handing her a letter was any kind of crime. She never asked me to stay away from her or that I was bothering her. I haven't done anything irrational and I'm not planning on it but if she takes this to the end then I'll be forced to protect myself my any means necessary. Legally Of course and I do have an attorney. I have also been ignoring all texts from her kids as of when the order of protection was activated. She is still emailing and calling me just yesterday so. I am ignoring her as well. If she wants to be left alone why is she trying to contact me?

[Dogmatique]

In fact, trying to get her into trouble with CPS can backfire on you. If you've known that minor children are being abused or neglected and done nothing about it until now...well, you see where I'm going with that?

I completely agree with Viol8e's post.

[JL35]

Well who in their right mind would do that while she has an order of protection against me? I'm not looking to get locked up for anyone.

[viol8te]

Well who in their right mind would do that while she has an order of protection against me? I'm not looking to get locked up for anyone.

So, when it's off, you're going to get back at her? The bottom line is that you are upset. I understand that. But if you can take anything from this, it should be to know when to let it go. You tried to be cordial. You went over the top if you ask me. She didn't respond for a while. And when she did, the $hix hit the fan. Just go to court fight the charge and let the truth come out. THEN LEAVE IT THAT!!! Enjoy your rekindled relationship with your wife. That's what's important now right?

[Dogmatique]

I'm talking in general - if you know a child is being neglected and/or abused (regardless of whether your relationship with the parent) and you have let it go on - it really doesn't look good for you.

Calling CPS as a retaliatory measure is just unwise, period.

[JL35]

While I respect and appreciate your opinion/advice, what exactly did I do to go over the top? From the time I handed her the letter to the time she started this nightmare , it had been a month. I haven't contacted her what so ever. SHE WAS STALKING ME. When this is over I have every intention of moving on and enjoying my family life and probably will leave it at that

I'm not saying I'm going to do that but I won't say the thought hasn't crossed my mind. That is yet another reason why I ended the relationship in the first place. It was the way she was handling the kids..

Also...I think that was part of the reason she did this. Her knowing I couldn't get her in trouble with CPS if she had an order of protection against me.

[Dogmatique]

I don't understand why you wouldn't call CPS regardless if you genuinely thought there was a risk to the children.

A protection order doesn't prevent you from doing that....

[JL35]

Because if I do she will simply come up with another BS story to have me arrested again. Shes gone this far so she's capable of anything as far as I'm concerned

Also...she works as a nurse and distribute drugs of all kinds out of her place of employment like its a pharmacy

I have yet another thing on my side as well. She claims this all happened back in March. She didn't go to the Police until May 8th. If this happened when she claims, why didn't she report it back then? Because it never happened!