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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2011

    Default Stopping Ex-Wife Harassment

    My question involves defamation in the state of CA

    My fiance & I have been being threatened and harrassed by his ex-wife for years. Mostly she threatens to ruin our lives (like we have done to her) and take custody of his son by calling CPS. Both of us have been advised to document what is going on, ignore her and wait. The worst part has been extreme bad-mouthing of the both of us to his son and interogating him persistently. His son has come to us in tears about many of the nasty things she has said and not liking the constant badgering he is subjected to. We have tried to request that she not put him in the middle of any problems that are going on. Recently, the ex told school staff she fears we are abusing the child (ruining our relationship with staff). Since then we have both met with CPS to discuss these serious allegations.

    1) How can we get the bad-mouthing to stop around the son?

    2) Are there anyways to protect ourselves from future abuse allegations?

    3) I am working towards being a teacher & this CPS allegation could prevent this? How can I protect my career? Even if the case is "unfounded", i heard it stays on record

    4) What would be the best way for us to get our concerns heard & addressed about what has been going on?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Behind a Desk

    Default Re: Stopping Ex-Wife Harassment

    There's no magic wand that can be waved to make your fiance's ex-wife behave better. If there is no language regarding behavior in front of the child in the custody order, your fiance can explore the possibility of amending the custody order to expressly hold against badmouthing the other parent; if there is, and he can demonstrate violations, he can petition the court to seek enforcement of the order.

    It sounds like your fiance has custody, but that's not entirely clear from your post.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2011

    Default Re: Stopping Ex-Wife Harassment

    I am hving the same problem right now wth my fiance's ex-wife. She is bad mouthing my fiance in front of his son. His son had told us numerous times. She even threatend to take my fiance out and enjoy it. She had some men threaten to beat him up because she lied to them saying that my fiance has been harrassing her. Which he has not.

    We called cps on her because this was the second time we found bruising on her son and we have proof of it.

    Right now we are going to file a restraining order against her for the threats she made towards my fiance. She is in a lot of trouble with that now. But, the funny thing is she still keeps going at it. She makes up lies that I am telling her son that his mom is mean to his dad and so on.

    Due to the court order I never talk about his mom in front of her. His son calls his mom names all the time. She's bi=polar so I can imagine if your husband's ex-wife is also.

    I would look into filing a restraining order and getting a social worker involved regarding pick up times.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2011

    Default Re: Stopping Ex-Wife Harassment

    There is 50/50 joint custody

    There is no physical abuse going on that we know of. However, he has begun "picking" at himself and someother self-destructive behavior at her house and at school. While we both believe she has some mental disorder (bi-polar, chemical instability, etc) she has never been diagnosed that we know of . I don't think a restraining order pertains to this situation because everything is verbal harrassment. We do all physical exchanges of his son at the school so our interactions are not hostile.

    The son says many things he doesn't like about his mom and her behavior, and so far we have only backed her up (i.e. "That is your mom and she loves you", "You need to respect her", etc) but this is becoming more difficult and I am not sure it is best for him. I mean the kid is telling us something is really bothering him and we are ignoring it

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