Request to Modify in California

[NdK1009]

I miiiiiight've slapped her at a downward and 45-degree angle ...so that her head bounced off of whatever it hit. Only because then, maybe, she'd be a little less crazy than she obviously is now.

You came to this site seeking the help of volunteers. After this comment, good luck trying to get help in the future with that type of attitude; I for one won't rush to your aid. This lady gave birth to and is raising your child. Whatever your grieveances with her as a person, the fact that she is your child's mother deserves at least a modicum of respect.

[machineguns]

Well there isn't much one can do when its a moot point eh? I guess that's the plight many of us suffer here. I guess my not being party to having a child until my early forties, left me feeling rather confident about my life.......talk about Errrrrrrrrrrr.....

It is what it is as they say, but it sure ain't no fun now, the mess I find myself in. Procrastination my friend until now is my biggest enemy. I can only hope you find your answer within your grasp of acceptance. I've thought more about suicide the past 2 years than I have in my lifetime. The stress is a killer in and of itself. Don't falter, you should really try to get to know your child if its possible, but the kicker is being forced to deal with your past/ex. I find myself looking at the floor, the wall, anything but her face when I pick up my child....its very difficult.

Best wishes in your endeavors here, hope you find your answer and a way to survive, that's all I am trying to do myself. Living on "17%" plus add-ons after taxes of course is not conducive to a standard one has grown accustomed to living in at all! Isn't even remotely possible when on unemployment......good luck!

[machineguns]

You came to this site seeking the help of volunteers. After this comment, good luck trying to get help in the future with that type of attitude; I for one won't rush to your aid. This lady gave birth to and is raising your child. Whatever your grieveances with her as a person, the fact that she is your child's mother deserves at least a modicum of respect.

I honestly wish that you could even have an inkling of insight as to what respect for the mother really has to do with anything but your own pre-conceived notions of the circumstances.

If you want to explore or delve into the issue of respect.....how about I send you about 10 days worth of chat I intercepted of my wife's involvement with the other person she planned on meeting up with (divine intervention/he died within 4 months).....maybe that would allow you to understand that respect isn't always warranted and sometimes it's just a vent if nothing less on here......

My ex deserves no respect outside of what I pretend to do or show my child for her sake. Outside of my "act of respect".......there is no "modicum" of respect that is worthy of her in my eyes. As I told her, God may forgive you, but I don't have to.......take it for what it is, respect is earned!

[machineguns]

I would have to agree with that, the responses on here are as you put it on your last couple responses..... dissimulating.......they are here for more than a helpful answer based on the responses I've witnessed in my search for answers. Kind of like the guy that flips you off in traffic, wouldn't dare to look you in the eye during a conversation.....

[Dogmatique]

I would have to agree with that, the responses on here are as you put it on your last couple responses..... dissimulating.......they are here for more than a helpful answer based on the responses I've witnessed in my search for answers. Kind of like the guy that flips you off in traffic, wouldn't dare to look you in the eye during a conversation.....

We're terrifically sorry that neither of you seem to like the legal reality of your situation.

And we're even sorrier that your attitudes are going to - unfortunately - probably rub off on your poor children.

That's the real tragedy.

We've all seen you here before. Different screen-names, marginally different little details - but same old story. We'll see you again. And on the other forums.

Happy Memorial Day!

[ph_dudley]

The legal system is not the quickest but you have to work within the confines of the system. You have a default judgement filed against you due to your failure to respond by filing an answer or appearing at the hearing. You would have been mailed a copy of the judgment which will have a copy of the child support calculations which which will indicate what income the court used for you. At anytime you felt that the amount was too high due to inaccurate data you should have filed a motion of reconsideration, if done within 60 days of the judgment, or a motion for modification. The one that is suffering here especially if you fail to provide the support is the child.

[ThwartedOptimist]

The legal system is not the quickest but you have to work within the confines of the system. You have a default judgement filed against you due to your failure to respond by filing an answer or appearing at the hearing. You would have been mailed a copy of the judgment which will have a copy of the child support calculations which which will indicate what income the court used for you. At anytime you felt that the amount was too high due to inaccurate data you should have filed a motion of reconsideration, if done within 60 days of the judgment, or a motion for modification. The one that is suffering here especially if you fail to provide the support is the child.

Thanks for the response and I think anyone who appreciates the big picture over technicalities would agree with your last comment. As for the rest, I'm now all too well aware that the legal process was more important to my little one than "working through" the aporia that accompanied it. But what's done is done; et que sera, sera.

I still didn't get a copy of the file or the details behind the decision - just the decision. And if I was supposed to, it seems I'm not the only one making mistakes. If there's really nothing I can do in the way of my original question, at least I tried.

[ThwartedOptimist]

Mine is not a question at all, but statements about child support in the State of: CA

Regarding the question originally posted in the thread: http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=122165

It's quite possible to get your request to modify processed quickly, and in everyone's favor. Don't listen to the silly or frustrated people who responded otherwise in my last thread. It took me a total of about a month and a half, and I'll now pay considerably less on the next paycheck.

Be patient and work hard with your CS representative. And who knows? Maybe someone out there can get it done in even less time. This almost certainly isn't the only answer to the original question.

Also, since the mother is causing everyone grief, don't bother with her. The courts see more like them every day and they're starting to get very old. Step back and let them make fools of themselves; do not try to handle the psychosis they're projecting. Even if you were to solve her problems, you'd be come her biggest one.

[ph_dudley]

Always remember the local child support agency has to obtain information from both parties, and then run it through to determine if the amount will change by a certain amount. This alone takes time to process and then there is no guarantee that the local child support agency will file a motion in court if the circumstances don't met certain criteria.
You ALWAYS have the option of going to the court and filing your own motion and this is always faster to get on court calendar.

[ThwartedOptimist]

Indeed, the fastest way that was suggested to me while I was at this was to file my own motion. The problem is that if you're (far) out of state, that's difficult to do without a lawyer. It was actually my intent to ask that question, but -- and I count myself among the best of company -- I know so little about the law as to be unable to navigate it with my own, native dialectic.

So if anyone cares to enlighten the parents out there who might need to do so, please share with us how to file your own motion. Simply, what form would that be?