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  1. #1
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    May 2011
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    Default I'm Not Listed on My Son's Birth Certificate

    My question involves paternity law for the State of: California
    Hi, we are still married as of now but I really don't know how long it could last . Here is the story, we got one son together, and he was born on Jan 2010. The sad thing is, my wife cheated me and he was born out of the wedlock, meaning I am not his biological father.....On his birth certificate, we didn't put down my name since I thought that it's not a wise thing to do even tho I love him a lot. Recently, my wife keep telling my to sign the acknowledgement of Paternity for her, so she could amend his birth certificate and my name could be added. So, I just want your opinion on this. I already asked around, meaning my friends, and they told me that I should not, because if I did, and my marriage came all down to South to the breaking point of divorce, she could bite me back with her child support. If my name is not in his birth certificate, then I'm not legally responsible for this. Isn't it right ? Please, give me some advice.....Thanks

  2. #2
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    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: I'm Not Listed on My Son Birth Certificate

    What do you WANT to do?

    Do you WANT to be a father to this child? You say on the one hand that you love the child - but on the other, you indicate that you wouldn't be keen on paying child support. You can't have it both ways.

    (Do you realize that even if you're not on the birth certificate, you are considered to be the legal father simply because you were married to Mom at the time the child was born?)
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

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  3. #3
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    May 2011
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    Default Re: I'm Not Listed on My Son Birth Certificate

    I know that I maybe sound a little bit selfish. I love the child, and I will help him if he does need me, but it's not my responsibility, and I don't want to be forced to raise someone else child up until 18, let alone the father is flirting around. I want him to share the father's duties too, he was the one to make bring this baby out to this world, shouldn't he be the one to have responsibilities ? isn't that much to ask ? If by laws I'm the father even if my name is not on the birth certificate, how can I rescind my duties ? Should I just divorce and everything will be ok ?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: I'm Not Listed on My Son Birth Certificate

    File for divorce, and disestablish paternity as part of the divorce action. If you don't do this and the divorce is finalized, you will NOT be able to challenge paternity at a later date.

    Also, do it sooner rather than later. The longer you remain the child's father on paper, the less likely it is the court will allow you to disestablish paternity.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  5. #5
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    May 2011
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    Default Re: I'm Not Listed on My Son Birth Certificate

    Thanks for your answer Dogmatique. I have another question, you don't have to answer if you don't want to. IF and I say IF I had signed on the Acknowledgement of Paternity to put my name on the birth certificate, would I be able to undo that later ? given the situation that the bio father agreed to take the son as his and would be willing to do all the paperwork to replace my name on the birth certificate.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: I'm Not Listed on My Son Birth Certificate

    Please don't take this the wrong way - but what the heck are you thinking?

    You can't play musical daddies that way.

    It's not fair TO THE CHILD.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  7. #7

    Default Re: I'm Not Listed on My Son Birth Certificate

    Not only is it fraud, but let's say for the sake of arguement that the actual father gets hit by a bus, or meets someone "special" and moves halfway across the country and has more children with her and is willing to "forget" this child, or ten years from now you and mom decide to split...under ANY of those circumstances, and many many more that could occur...you'd still likely be held to be the father by the court...REGARDLESS of what the DNA says. Courts want children to have TWO parents...and once you put yourself on paper as one of them, the court isn't going to let you get away until the actual...or another (ie adoption) parent comes forward. Once you put your name on that paper, you open yourself up to the possibility of being responsible for that child until 18 (if not 21 or college graduation) - no matter WHAT the actual father tells you. And Doggie is right, musical daddies isn't fair to the CHILD.
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  8. #8
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    May 2011
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    Default Re: I'm Not Listed on My Son Birth Certificate

    Thanks everyone for their input, I think I know what to do now, for the sake for the child.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Officially across the country from where I've been all my life
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    Default Re: I'm Not Listed on My Son Birth Certificate

    Quote Quoting aardvarc
    View Post
    Not only is it fraud, but let's say for the sake of arguement that the actual father gets hit by a bus, or meets someone "special" and moves halfway across the country and has more children with her and is willing to "forget" this child, or ten years from now you and mom decide to split...under ANY of those circumstances, and many many more that could occur...you'd still likely be held to be the father by the court...REGARDLESS of what the DNA says. Courts want children to have TWO parents...and once you put yourself on paper as one of them, the court isn't going to let you get away until the actual...or another (ie adoption) parent comes forward. Once you put your name on that paper, you open yourself up to the possibility of being responsible for that child until 18 (if not 21 or college graduation) - no matter WHAT the actual father tells you. And Doggie is right, musical daddies isn't fair to the CHILD.
    I can't disagree with almost everything you've said more...

    1. I don't see the fraud. Birth certificate or not, the OP is the child's LEGAL FATHER (see statutes)
    2. Paternity CAN be disestablished as part of a divorce regardless of whether or not an actual father rears his head. The key is TIMING.

    However, I will agree that musical daddies is a sucky game to play
    If you wanted babies all to yourself, you should have created them by yourself. Until you do that, children have the right to BOTH parents, especially since you found them suitable to procreate with.

  10. #10
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    May 2011
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    Default Re: I'm Not Listed on My Son Birth Certificate

    Quote Quoting CourtClerk
    View Post
    I can't disagree with almost everything you've said more...

    1. I don't see the fraud. Birth certificate or not, the OP is the child's LEGAL FATHER (see statutes)
    2. Paternity CAN be disestablished as part of a divorce regardless of whether or not an actual father rears his head. The key is TIMING.

    However, I will agree that musical daddies is a sucky game to play
    1. Got it
    2. Although Paternity CAN be disestablished (within 2 years since the baby is born), but from what I've read so far on the Internet, it is really hard (not impossible, but not probable) to undo the birth certificate once you and the mom had sign on the Acknowledgement of Paternity, even tho the bio father would be willing to get the son back; and the process to do this is way to long and expensive. Given of the situation right now, I will leave it blank to see how the marriage is going and decide what I'm going to do next.

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