Mom Moved Out of State with Daughter

[1puffer]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: PA,

I have a custody hearing scheduled for the end of May. It is the first hearing, there is no Court ordered custody arrangement at this point.

My soon to be ex wife has just given me 3 days notice that she was taking our daughter and moving out of state to NJ. About an hour away. Currently she lives about 20 minutes away.

Currently we split time with our daughter about 50\50. I have her several nights per week into the next morning and every other weekend.

My lawyer wants a large amount of money to file an Emergency Petition for Relocation (or something to that effect). As I understand the law my STBX needed to let the court know 60 days before she moved that she has intentions of moving. This obviously did not occur.

I want to see my daughter and she wants to see me, has fun with me and I will drive 1 , 2, 8 hours to see her but I am being walked on by my STBX and need a way to defend my ability to spend time with her.

Are there any options ?

Thanks

[PQN]

Pay the large amount of money to file the Emergency Petition to block her from moving out of state.

Actually, you said you have a court date in May. Does mom plan on moving before the court date? If not, you ask your attorney to address it at that hearing. Be sure to inform mom that you do not agree to the relocation of the children.

[1puffer]

Yes Mom plans on moving before the court date. Mom informed me last week she was moving and then did move this past weekend.

My attorney has already sent a letter to Moms attorney asking her attorney to instruct Mom not to move until a hearing on relocation was possible. Mom disregarded the letter and moved.

Paying my atty 'large amount of money' ($10k) is really not an option. I just dont have $10k.... I have been on the $500 \ month payment plan with him for the past year and now he wants an additional retainer to do this because the Act 112 is new in PA and will require a signifigant amount of research \ time on his part.

I've been paying $1800 \ month to Mom for support and I am current on support. However I only have about $1000 in savings right now. Should I be looking for a personal loan \ home refi in order to get this retainer? Its very hard to understand how Mom is doing whatever she wants and there is no accountability (without paying $10k to lawyer)...

Any help would be appreciated. Thank You.

[Dogmatique]

OK - we're talking another 40 minutes or so away?

How old is your daughter?

[1puffer]

Yes we are talking about another 40 minutes away

She is 3.

[Dogmatique]

So school is not yet an issue.

This does need to be raised at the hearing. Mom might be able to argue that your parenting time won't be affected - and if she offers to do the transportation, that's another point in her favor.

However, given the recent change in the law she'll also now have to show how kiddo's life will be bettered by the relocation.

What are Mom's reasons for moving?

[1puffer]

Mom has offered to meet me somewhere along the halfway point. Will be hard for me due to my work schedule.

Moms reason is to be close to her mom.

[Dogmatique]

All things being equal, Mom's reason isn't good enough to justify taking the child away from the current status quo of what is more or less a 50-50 timeshare.

[1puffer]

Dog,

My daughter does attend a Preschool in Bucks County , so I don't know if 'school would be an issue'. My daughter does talk about her friends there and names them by name when I ask her who she will be playing with at school.

If she offered to do the transportation than I would have no problem with her living an hour away.

Here is what I am thinking about doing...

Wait to the custody hearing at the end of this month.
Drive whereever necessary to pick up \ drop off my daughter.
I voluntarily started attending a parenting class in my County , I need the mental \ emotional support.
Eat what ever BS she gives me till the custody hearing at the end of this month....

Any ideas or suggestions? I just want to spend time with my daughter and have it on a schedule where my ex will not be able to use her as a barganing tool anymore.

Thanks

[Dogmatique]

Preschool for a 3 year old isn't a required element and is generally not much of a consideration.

But you're doing all the right things. The parenting class is a really great idea. And kudos for sucking up whatever Mom throws at you - many, many parents can't do that

If you're happy with the schedule you have now which is more or less 50-50, then honestly you have every right to fight to keep that. You DO have status quo on your side there - and Mom will have to show that your parenting time won't be compromised. Is mom willing to keep kiddo in the current school district?

(Btw, for what its worth I lived in New Hope for a while many years ago - I do understand that an "out of state" move can literally mean a walk over the bridge to the Full Moon Cafe in Lambertville! )