When is Emotional Abuse Considered to be Child Abuse

[tattoolady594]

My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: New York

~Im 16 turnin 17 in May and my father passed away in late 2009 unexpectedly. Ive always been a "daddies girl" and have always hated my mother since day one(shes drinks and has never been ANY kind of emotional support). SO now, I am STUCK living with my mom. We constantly get in fights about NOTHING, like she takes the petty issues WAY too far, and we end up screaming in each others faces, and before long I personally have to leave and spend the nite at a friends house. Shes recently gotten a bf who swears up and down he'll take care of me and makes promises for my support if I move with him and her to Ohio(he already lives in ohio). I have a bf here(central ny) who I intend on marrying as soon as Im old enough so Im not about to dump the life I have here to go off and play "house" with this new "replacement daddy". She then proceeded to kick me out, then 2 days later change the story to that of I "ran away", so of course the cops believed her. I was living in my apt. with my bf for 2 weeks untill the Social Worker of my school called saying I was being marked truant...(i had to get a job to pay for the apt and i was living downtown going to Liverpool schools, i had to drop out but my mom didnt sign the drop out papers so i had to tell them id finish later) which they didnt let me do, but they didnt say anything against it untill after i had stopped going. The 2nd week- my mom calls me saying if i didnt pack my stuff and come home shed call the cops on my bf (19 years old) for "rape" (even though she was fine with it due to her having him move in with us) ...so i was forced to move back in and continue going to school or my bf would be put in jaill and i either in juvie or some detention center... however, I believe I have been emotionally and mentally abused by her for the drama, and fighting thats going on. I didnt need any of this ON TOP of gettin over my dads passing. I want to get emancipated also but you have to be living out of the parents home, and i recently was forced by her and the cops to move back in and quit my VERY GOOD paying job downtown... so that was out of my control cuz obviously i have no voice or say in this matter at this point in time.

PLEASE, is this abuse? because if it is considered abuse then i could possibly use it in my favor for the emancipation process.

[tattoolady594]

Why is no one replying to this?? This is seriously important!!

[Dogmatique]

Why is no one replying to this?? This is seriously important!!

We are all volunteers here - have some patience please.

If you are being abused you need to call child services.

With your history of truancy and running away, I don't believe you have any chance of being emancipated. You have actually shown the "system" that you need more - not less - supervision.

Additionally, New York doesn't have an emancipation statute; you would have to prove to the court locally that you should be emancipated.

This means you're already living alone and supporting yourself, while keeping up your grades. Can you afford to pay full market rent, food, utilities, clothing, health insurance...

I realize this isn't what you want to hear, but it's the truth.

[tattoolady594]

Yes it was a bad thing to be truant I admit that(i was however signing up for the GED program to finish early, and i didnt go because one of my couselors said i didnt have to untill I was accepted into it, and if i wasnt had to make up all the work from when i was missing), so i stopped and was WORKING to afford my apartment, and I asked a local officer and they said I WASN'T a runaway because at first my mother kicked me out but 2 days later changed the story and said that I HAD run away(lying). So its a win-lose situation there. I already called child services and they said they needed an adult like a social worker or mediator to call but the social worker I talk to wont take my side because my mother has changed the story so many times and lied to every official she talked to about it, so Im alone on this battle. I was merely asking if it WAS considered emotional abuse for all she had put me through considering the circumstance and i CAN prove to the courts i can support myself its just the fact that the local police choose not to believe that Im proving that I can support myself on my own, therefore threatening to put me into PINS because my mom has lied to them about it.

[aardvarc]

Emotional abuse rarely rises to the level where it becomes a criminal charge of child abuse or "enough" for CPS to act upon...UNLESS that emotional abuse included activities that would already be crimes in and of themselves (forcing a minor to have sex, to watch or participate in criminal acts, etc.). Fighting and drama over rules and boyfriends won't even scratch the surface.

[tattoolady594]

Okay I now understand. Just 1 question though. I was IN the process of proving the "system" I can support myself, yet my mother called the cops lying saying i was a runaway, thus forcing me back into her house, making me give up my apartment AND my job. I had no voice in the matter, so her and the law did. Is this considered emotional abuse too? Or not at all..

[aaron]

Unless the parents gave a minor permission to move out, whether or not the minor can support herself, if she leaves home and refuse to return the minor is a runaway.

If a parent has given a minor permission to live outside of the home, the parent can revoke that permission and demand that the minor return home.

[cyjeff]

Okay I now understand. Just 1 question though. I was IN the process of proving the "system" I can support myself, yet my mother called the cops lying saying i was a runaway, thus forcing me back into her house, making me give up my apartment AND my job. I had no voice in the matter, so her and the law did. Is this considered emotional abuse too? Or not at all..

You said it yourself.

You have no voice in the matter. You are a minor and may be demanded returned at any time.

Playing house for two weeks doesn't mean anything.