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  1. #31
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    529

    Default Re: DNA Test Prove My Husband is Not the Father After 15 Years of Paying Child Suppor

    What is being told to you is: You don't have to be a biologically related to be a father to a child. But you don't want to hear that. The DNA test proves he was not biologically related to the boy, but it did not relieve him of being the father. Instead of spending x amount of years trying to prove he was not the father he should have spent those years trying to be a father.

    We are not in your shoes, but trust me the ones we wear are the same size and shape.

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    256

    Default Re: DNA Test Prove My Husband is Not the Father After 15 Years of Paying Child Suppor

    Realistically - say you WERE able to obtain a monetary judgment against her for fraud. How do you ever expect to collect it? Sometimes the fight just isn't worth it. It doesn't sound like this is an individual you'd ever be able to collect a dime from on a judgment. People get judgments all the time and are not able to collect.

    If you're talking about a criminal action, that would be brought by the DA and with an overburdened system, chances are they wouldn't bother to file against her.

    As for the disestablishment of paternity and releasing your partner from the CS obligation - because of public policy reasons, the courts are typically highly unwilling to do this, especially after 14 / 15 years have passed.

    How was paternity established originally?

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    14

    Default Re: DNA Test Prove My Husband is Not the Father After 15 Years of Paying Child Suppor

    It is not that I do not want to hear that , it is that I did not know that. If I knew all of this information I would not have posted any questions on here. What I do not understand is why no matter which way a man goes and not just my husband there are many more out there in similar situations, that they are in the wrong. If they can not afford to pay child support or just do not bother which is more the situation with most of the cases, they are labled dead beat dads, they go to jail, loose their driving privilenges, live in poverty to make sure they support their children but yet are still the parent in the wrong. A mother and it does not matter how bad of one she is can make all the rules as far as the children go if she has custody, the courts will side with her. Are we as a society still so far back in the dark ages that when a human being commits fraud and lies and did prevent a supposedly father from having a realtionship with a son and she did do this that she is still in the right? Would it have been better on the child at a younger age to have been put through his parents fighiting and she did over visitation and them having a realtionship and dragging the child through court proceedings just so that the man will loose anyway because the court sides with the mother. I was on the other side of this situation with my son's the father did not pay child support and left state to avoid it and I encouraged a realtionship between him and his son's and he turned it down, I know the affect that had on my children knowing that I was not fighting it but allowing them to form a bond and he turned it down. The child in this situation is old enough to remember the times his dad did try to get visitation and argue with the mother at times over it and could not undestand why his sisters could visit all they wanted but he was only aloud to come with them maybe three times. He was not excluded out of our lifes soley by our choice, he was treated no different at christamas or birthdays as the girls. Even though he was not permitted to be around for those holidays we all was sent gifts back to him with his sisters. He was also kept from my husbands parents as again the girls were not.

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    26,461

    Default Re: DNA Test Prove My Husband is Not the Father After 15 Years of Paying Child Suppor

    Quote Quoting EA1970
    View Post
    Realistically - say you WERE able to obtain a monetary judgment against her for fraud. How do you ever expect to collect it? Sometimes the fight just isn't worth it. It doesn't sound like this is an individual you'd ever be able to collect a dime from on a judgment. People get judgments all the time and are not able to collect.

    If you're talking about a criminal action, that would be brought by the DA and with an overburdened system, chances are they wouldn't bother to file against her.

    As for the disestablishment of paternity and releasing your partner from the CS obligation - because of public policy reasons, the courts are typically highly unwilling to do this, especially after 14 / 15 years have passed.

    How was paternity established originally?


    They were married at the time of the birth; separated when the child was a few months old apparently.

    And neither bothered to disestablish paternity as part of the divorce proceeding.

    What OP is doing at this point is simple venting. I realize she doesn't want to hear that Dad could have made more of an effort to be involved, or why it's not in the State's best interest to disestablish paternity at this point, or that Mom isn't going to be getting back child support from anyone else, or that the State isn't going to prosecute Mom or anything of that nature.

    The thread is pretty much done...although I'll address some of OP's points in her latest further down...

    Quote Quoting rhartline
    View Post
    It is not that I do not want to hear that , it is that I did not know that. If I knew all of this information I would not have posted any questions on here. What I do not understand is why no matter which way a man goes and not just my husband there are many more out there in similar situations, that they are in the wrong.


    There are just as many CPs who are completely screwed over by the NCP.


    If they can not afford to pay child support or just do not bother which is more the situation with most of the cases, they are labled dead beat dads, they go to jail, loose their driving privilenges, live in poverty to make sure they support their children but yet are still the parent in the wrong.

    Because kids need to eat. And there is a difference between 'cannot' and 'will not'. A genuine, involuntary reduction in income for example will most often result in a reduction in child support.


    A mother and it does not matter how bad of one she is can make all the rules as far as the children go if she has custody, the courts will side with her.

    Not true. The times when Mom automatically got custody after a divorce are long gone. Of course, the other parent actually needs to be involved in the child's life if s/he wants any sort of input.


    Are we as a society still so far back in the dark ages that when a human being commits fraud and lies and did prevent a supposedly father from having a realtionship with a son and she did do this that she is still in the right?

    She didn't commit fraud - he KNEW about the possibility and chose NOT to do anything about it. This is according to your own words!



    Would it have been better on the child at a younger age to have been put through his parents fighiting and she did over visitation and them having a realtionship and dragging the child through court proceedings just so that the man will loose anyway because the court sides with the mother.

    The child wouldn't have been involved in any court proceedings. And of course the courts don't always side with the mother.

    I was on the other side of this situation with my son's the father did not pay child support and left state to avoid it and I encouraged a realtionship between him and his son's and he turned it down, I know the affect that had on my children knowing that I was not fighting it but allowing them to form a bond and he turned it down. The child in this situation is old enough to remember the times his dad did try to get visitation and argue with the mother at times over it and could not undestand why his sisters could visit all they wanted but he was only aloud to come with them maybe three times. He was not excluded out of our lifes soley by our choice, he was treated no different at christamas or birthdays as the girls. Even though he was not permitted to be around for those holidays we all was sent gifts back to him with his sisters. He was also kept from my husbands parents as again the girls were not.

    Sounds to me like Dad should have been taking Mom to court for contempt each and every time she withheld visitation.

    Had he done so, and had she continued, Dad would likely have CUSTODY right now.

    I'm sorry OP -but now you're just venting and this really isn't the appropriate venue for that.

    With regards to the private message you sent me, my gender has nothing to do with anything. As we're ALL trying to point out, this is about what the State believes is in the child's best interest - not Mom's, not Dad's, not yours.

    If you want the laws to change, you start writing your congressperson.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

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