My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: Oklahoma
Im looking for advice for sister in law. She has two children, 8 and 4. The oldest lives with dad and the youngest with her. They agreed this was best for the oldest because of his anger issues. He seems to be doing a lot better at his dads. My concern is my 4yr old nephew. His dad has remarried and his new wife belittles my sister in law and tries to bully her anyway she can, even by mistreating her kid. He has been potty trained for over a year but when he's at his dads he has multiple accidents. Ive read this can be from stress but he never has accidents with his mom. His older brother at a recent visit with mom was almost bragging that they, stepmom/dad, disciplned his younger brother by making him carry a binky and calling him a baby in front of the other children. They used humiliation to discipline a 4yr old because he had an accident and wouldn't stop crying. I recently had my nephew with me and he asked my husband, his uncle, why he didnt love him? His uncle's response was, of course I love you why do you think I dont? My nephew said cause ,stepmom's name, doesn't. She doesn't love me cuz Im a big baby. We reasured him we did love him and told him we thought he was a very good, big boy. It breaks my heart to think of what he's goin thru over there. He's always in trouble and getting spankings by dad because stepmom said he did this or that. This kid is a typical 4yr old. He's a curious lil chatterbox, wants to know how, what, why about pretty much everything. He's a people pleaser tho he doesnt want anyone to be mad or upset with him. He doesnt throw temper tantrums. He gets fussy when he's tired like any other toddler. There are a ton of other little red flags, too many to list. I know this sounds minor compared to other post but I know he's being misteated and I feel like I should help him and his mom. I've heard preschool age is very critical as far as a child's self worth and emotional develpoment and after reading all these horror stories of children having to go thru similar situations for yrs, it terrifies me. So I guess Im wondering if theres anything my sister in law can do to protect him. She's tried talking to her ex and his wife but to no avail. It seems to fuel stepmom even more since she knows it upsets my sister in law. How much is too much and is there anything she can do to prevent this from happening for yrs to come?