Gaining Custody of Two Children Living Out of State

[FatBack]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Alabama/California

My girlfriend and I are seeking information on how we can get custody of her 2 children ages 10 and 12. They live in California with their father and we live in Alabama. Recently, child protective services were called on the father and step-mother and the youngest child cried over the phone telling us his step-mother is physically and verbally abusive. Both children unsolicited say they want to live with us. We tried talking to the father and he is not communicating with us. The children will be staying with us in Alabama from June-August. What is our best course of action?

Thanks.

[Dogmatique]

What was the result of the CPS investigation?

(And it's helpful to understand that you won't be filing or getting custody - this is purely your girlfriend's legal matter, not yours )

[mollypax]

At the time I left the state of CA, the boys were very settled and happy and I had a good relationship with my ex-spouse. I wanted the boys to move back to my home state with me but also wanted what would be the easiest transition for them. Yes, they missed me but they had all they were used to and considering my ex and I had a good relationship, it worked. He is now remarried to a woman with a son from a previous relationship whose biological father is in jail for a long time. They have also had their own child together. This should be a happy healthy family as far as I was aware. However, my sons have started having issues at school when formerly honor roll. I thought my youngest was being bullied. Only he blew me away saying he is afraid of his "other mother". Social Services was called due to him getting in trouble and I am assuming expressing fear about going home. The case is closed but on record. Because they were called and it is on record, there is no chance that my sons step mother will ever get a job in her chosen degree field - prior drug use or accusactions of child abuse negate that. Knowing his fear of her, will she take her anger out on him knowing that all her college years may be down the drain? We have contacted an attorney in CA since this is between two states. I am very afraid. I have always trusted my ex and his love for our sons. In this case, he has a wife and two more children, and may see things through rose-colored glasses rather than what is right there in front of him. I asked my son to speak with his father while his step mother was not around. He was pretty much igorned. He said he would like to live with me, and was told that would never happen and to just go outside and play.
and since my boyfriend and I have been together for years and planning a wedding, he feels he should also have a valid say in how we work through this

[aardvarc]

my sons have started having issues at school when formerly honor roll. I thought my youngest was being bullied. Only he blew me away saying he is afraid of his "other mother". Social Services was called due to him getting in trouble and I am assuming expressing fear about going home.

You know what they say about assuming. That's why courts don't. They work with demonstrable facts or documented incidents.

The case is closed but on record.

On record, but closed with no action means that what the court will take away from it is: "nothing". Social services MUST investigate complaints, no matter how unfounded, and courts (unlike some employers) get that - what a judge would look for is the outcome of that complaint, and here, there apparantly wasn't anything of note.

Knowing his fear of her, will she take her anger out on him knowing that all her college years may be down the drain?

We can't predict that. You can't predict that. And a court can't predict that. As noted above, courts work on what HAS happened, not on what COULD happen at some point in the future. Your fear of her having negative emotion towards the child due to his report is probably a valid one; I don't think anyone would dispute that. BUT it's nothing NEAR a level where a court would act to change custody.

I have always trusted my ex and his love for our sons. In this case, he has a wife and two more children, and may see things through rose-colored glasses rather than what is right there in front of him.

Again, "may" isn't the same as "reality". IF any of the things you fear actually HAPPEN, THEN you might have a leg to stand on. But as of today....

I asked my son to speak with his father while his step mother was not around. He was pretty much igorned. He said he would like to live with me, and was told that would never happen

Given events as they currently stand, that's probably accurate, even if brunt.

and since my boyfriend and I have been together for years and planning a wedding, he feels he should also have a valid say in how we work through this

As he's likely your key support system, of course he'll have a say, with you. As a legal stranger to the child, however, he'll have no say in official matters or the custody proceeding should you desire to take it to that level. Of course continue to work with your attorney, but given what you've related here, I see nothing that would even make the court THINK about a change at this point.

[FatBack]

You know what they say about assuming. That's why courts don't. They work with demonstrable facts or documented incidents.



On record, but closed with no action means that what the court will take away from it is: "nothing". Social services MUST investigate complaints, no matter how unfounded, and courts (unlike some employers) get that - what a judge would look for is the outcome of that complaint, and here, there apparantly wasn't anything of note.



We can't predict that. You can't predict that. And a court can't predict that. As noted above, courts work on what HAS happened, not on what COULD happen at some point in the future. Your fear of her having negative emotion towards the child due to his report is probably a valid one; I don't think anyone would dispute that. BUT it's nothing NEAR a level where a court would act to change custody.



Again, "may" isn't the same as "reality". IF any of the things you fear actually HAPPEN, THEN you might have a leg to stand on. But as of today....



Given events as they currently stand, that's probably accurate, even if brunt.



As he's likely your key support system, of course he'll have a say, with you. As a legal stranger to the child, however, he'll have no say in official matters or the custody proceeding should you desire to take it to that level. Of course continue to work with your attorney, but given what you've related here, I see nothing that would even make the court THINK about a change at this point.

Well, I am sure glad you are not our attorney! We retained a firm in their home city and the case will be fast tracked and the CSS incident will be the MOST prevalent, useful information. We should expect full custody within 3 months. At the very least, the guidelines for visitation rights will be established to favor our position.

Thank you for replying to the thread!

[NdK1009]

Did I miss something on this thread? All of a sudden it's rainbows and puppy dogs for the OP. ?!?

[Dogmatique]

Did I miss something on this thread? All of a sudden it's rainbows and puppy dogs for the OP. ?!?

I believe the term is "lying".



(There is no WAY a custody modification will be decided in 3 months...in California. Heck, they'd be lucky to get the first hearing before then!)

[tex11]

Well, I am sure glad you are not our attorney! We retained a firm in their home city and the case will be fast tracked and the CSS incident will be the MOST prevalent, useful information. We should expect full custody within 3 months. At the very least, the guidelines for visitation rights will be established to favor our position.

Thank you for replying to the thread!

What's this WE and OUR garbage? Boyfriend is nothing in this legal proceeding, and should not forget HE is not the children's father.

[FatBack]

I expected more from a LegalHelp site... like actual legal professionals, not just opinionated trolls. Yes, I am happy about that... we have encouraging news from an actual attorney. The case will be fast-tracked, a minority representation will be awarded for the children, the "evil" step-mom will be summoned for deposition in 2 weeks.

And "WE" are doing this together. This has a lot to do with my girlfriend and "I". As the children will be living with "US".

Thanks for, well nothing really, but thanks anyway for taking the time to read this and share your thoughts.

[Dogmatique]

Uh huh.

We believe you.